What's up with that?

Hi Everyone, I am a little fustrated in the way people including my family who i don't see very often. I have lost 65 pounds since 2/23/04 and they don't say anything. Are they blind or jellous? My husband and kids that see me everyday notice alot and say i am shrinking and getting smaller. Yes some of my family members are obese theselves, but I still don't understand why they don't say anything. My clothes are very big and baggy my face has definitly changed. We are a close family too and my sister want's to have the surgery but she cant because she has Irratible Bowl Syndrome. My Dad also doesn't say anything or my Grandma. I guess I need to loose alot more for them to notice or say anything. Although there is a coulple of friends who haven't seen me in 10 months and when they saw me they kept raving how great i was doing. Has anyone had this happen to them? Let me know how you deal with that. I try not to get discoraged but it is hard. HELP!!! ThanksJill

Yes, Jill this has happened to me. My sister who I had not seen since just a few days after my surgery saw me the other day. I'm down 67 pounds and she did not say a word. I know its visible, but nada. I attribute this to one of two things. She's so wrapped up in herself she didn't notice or She could not bring herself to comment because she knows that someday soon I will be smaller than her and then she will not be able to feel superior. Don't let it get you down. It is they who are having the problem with it, not you. Just rejoice in your accomplishment and know that you are healthier and feel better for it. Windy/Pat

I think you're right Pat. I have a good friend with whom I attended a weight loss program for over a year. It was very small and intimate and we shared alot weekly so we know alot about each other's struggles with weight. She wasn't anti-surgery, but she wasn't very supportive either. Mostly she remained quiet and since surgery, she hasn't mentioned my weight loss at all...Not even one time. And this is a friend that my husband and I see regularly; I'm very fond of her and it hurts that she refuses to acknowledge my weight loss, but there is nothing that I can do. I'm certainly not going to confront her about it since her weight has continued to climb and I know she's hurting already. Sometimes you just have to be your own biggest fan! Julie

Who knows? LOL Maybe they have seen you struggle with past diet attempts and don't want to say anything yet. Maybe they think you are uncomfortable talking about it? Like I said, who knows? Just keep doing what you are doing, and they won't be able to not say anything in a year. ;) Debbie -52

Jill, Try not to focus on reactions or lack of reactions by others. Know within yourself that you are doing GREAT and that you are changing in how you look. Maybe it is like us ... some days I see the same old Mary of a year ago, other days I see the new Mary. They may still have the old mental image of you in their minds and the new image hasn't been uploaded yet. Just a thought. I don't think most people remain silent to be mean. I think they just may not be as observant as we hope they will be. Mary

Jill, I can relate. I went to a convention after having lost 50 lbs. No one said anything until I asked...(Can you tell I have lost weight?) Well, in talking to someone later I found out that a lot of people had notice and commented on it, but didn't want to say anything because they thought it would embarass me. Well, needless to say we put out the word that it did not. Within 2 hours EVERYONE was telling me. I think people around us forget that we still need to feel good about ourselves and need the positive re-enforcement.(sp) "I" think you are doing great. I am jealous because you have lost 3 more lbs than me (kidding, just kidding). Congrats! Noelle