What do you say when...

Someone says your husband must be soooooo happy now? And they don't mean because you are healthier. I get a lot of compliments and it is very wonderful, but I tell you, sometimes people says the stupidest things. It's like I was horrible before and now I am wonderful. People should think before they speak. Truth is my husband married me heavy 5 years ago and wasn't a big fan of me having surgery. He loved me then and he loves me now. Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

Susan, THe one I get all the time is - boy your husband is going to have to keep his eye on you now - as if WLS makes your wedding vows null and void and removes your morals. I just smile and laugh it off although it does make me a little mad. Like you my husband married me when I was heavy and frankly for years did not want me to have surgery. He is glad I did now because he sees how much better I feel and really that is all that counts in the end. Hope you are having a great day! Liz

Thanks for validating my feelings. I get that one too. My husband and I talked about it, because I didn't want him to think that because my body was different that our marriage would be over. Weird. I am really not a negetive person, but other things I hear are don't you feel much better? And my father in law even had the nerve to ask how much I weighed at my highest weight. Like why? What would that do for him to know how much I weighed? People are funny. I am having a great day, thanks, I hope you have a great day too.

It irks me when people say "what did you do? You've lost so much weight!!" and when I tell them, they say "Oh I wish I could lose weight that easily". I assure them that it wasn't an easy decision, it wasn't an easy healing process, and while it's a breeze for me now, if I could have done this any other way, I certainly wouldn't have "opted" for major surgery. It's usually the ones who have the 20 extra pounds, and not the ones that are near to what I was when I finally decided to choose life and surgery over death and more food.

Susan, Almost everyday I marvel at what stupid things people say. The one about your husband must be so happy... that one doesn't even deserve a reply, its so stupid. The one about him having to keep an eye on you is right up there with it. And my own father is always pestering me with how much have you lost now? How much did you weigh when you started? How much do you weigh now? I told him it wasn't proper to ask those questions and I'm not an idiot, I know you can do the math, so don't EVER ask me how much I weigh because I won't tell you. I wasn't very nice about it either. But the one about you having to feel so much better, well that one isn't all that stupid. The fact is that I DO feel better since the surgery, and that's why I had it. I have had several people comment on how much better I seem to feel and that its reflected in my mood and attitude. So when I get that comment I just say "Thank you. I DO feel better. I'm glad you noticed." Don't let stupid people get you down. They make the world interesting. Windy/Pat