opinion needed

I need some opinions. Do you tell people that have not seen you in sometime that you have had WLS? Do you just say thank you and change the subject? Do you have to tell everyone? and what do you do when someone else tells for you with out your knowledge? thanks, Kate

Hi Kate When family (People your confortable with) ask, I tell them about my surgery. For non-family (and not so close-family...lol) I just respond with thanks. If before surgery, someone asked you about losing weight, you'd respond with thanks and be very happy. Surgery is a tool, not a miracle pill, I have worked every step I have taken, as i'm sure so have you. And if someone approaches me that I have not discussed it with, "Yes, I have had surgery, it has been a great tool in helping me with better food choices and gotten me motivated to excerise and get in shape". That is what it is doing for me. And I don't really care how they found out, people talk and always will, and maybe a little jealousy along with curiousity, you'd be surprised......lol. Tracie -55 lbs

Hi Kate, With me it depends on who is asking. I was at the dentist's office last week and the receptionist remarked about my weight loss and asked how I'd lost it. I chose not to tell her about the surgery. I just told her that I'd been exercising and watching what I ate... all true. I just didn't feel it was any of her business and I didn't want to stand there and explain things to her. No one ever lets the conversation just drop when I tell them I had the surgery. So in that case it was easier not to explain. I didn't tell all my relatives but they seemed to have found out anyway through my dad and my husband. It botheres me that they told people without my knowledge because I really feel as though this is MY business. I'm not embarrassed about the surgery. I'm proud of myself for knowing that this was the right choice for me and for all the research I did and for all the courage it took to go through with the surgery. People who don't understand everything that is involved with the surgery seem to think it is a quick fix. They don't understand all the work that it takes. So yes I think I am selective about who I tell. Linda Open RNY February 25,2004 Dr. Anita Courcoulas/Shadyside Hospital

thanks for the thoughts. I didn't want to tell people that i am not close friends with. those people already know! but thanks again for reinforcing what i knew in my heart was true. thanks again. kate

I tell people i am not close with that i made a life style change and leave it at that Cindy

hi kate i felt the same way..in the beginning...but everytime i do choose to share...either the person knows someone who has had it..or theyve had it themselves...you would be surprised! kay dee

Hi Kate: I think it is a personal choice and you should do what is comfortable for you. For me, I decided to tell people, even if they think it may be an easy way out. I feel great since the surgery and if it has the possibility of helping someone else than so be it. Good Luck, Eileen

Sometimes I tell the world, other times just don't comment other than to say I've lost weight thru diet and exercise. I have a couple of friends who love to tell people that I had the surgery as they are so proud of me. Most of the time it doesn't matter, but sometimes I don't want the whole world to know. Hard to verbalize the feelings. I'm not embarrassed that I had the surgery, I am proud of what I have accomplished so far too. I've never been one who has been an open book to everyone, so I think that is where is comes from. Mary

I have asked the friends that I have told to let me do the telling. I don't mind talking about my surgery - almost everyone at my office knows. What I do mind is the insinuation that I had no willpower, or the comments like "gee, wish I could just have the surgery and be done with it", as if I will ever be done with it. That usually gets me to comment back with something like, if that's what you think, then you wouldn't be a good candidate for the surgery. So tell who you want, and don't tell if you don't want to answer a thousand questions about what it's like and what you can eat now, and do you have problems, etc etc etc.

Hi Kate, In the beginning, I kept my surgery a closely guarded secret, but eventually I had to ask myself a tough question. Do I want others to know from me first hand that "yes, I've had this done and I'm proud of myself for taking control of my life and beating my weight problem" or do I want them to find out through the grape vine where all sorts of misinformation happen? So, after a little while, I started telling anyone who asked. Sometimes, if I'm not in the mood for the flood of questions that usually follows, I'll just say "thanks." If the person asking is obese themselves, however, I'll usually take as much time as they need. I've discovered that alot of people ask b/c they've also been considering the surgery and feel I'm finally someone safe they can ask. It's just a personal decision I've made for myself to help people who are in the same need I was a year ago when I first started considering surgery. Not all of the healing and adjustment we do after WLS is physical. I think as much of it or more is psychological and this might be one of those areas. Best wishes Darrin