Cross Addictions, Weight Gain Woohoo

I lost so much weight after having my surgery and thought it was the easiest thing in the world. I did not have the psychological tools to help me through it. After giving up the eating I turned to other things...the main thing is alcohol. I ended up going to rehab before it became chic now to do so. I was clean and sober for 4 months before hitting the bottle again. This was back in Oct 06 and it is now July 07 and I am eating like never before with the whole hunger pains back in tact AND I've been hitting the bottle like never before. I've gained back 80 lbs now and feel completely disgusted with myself. I actually went and bought a cake last night and ate a slice of it being that I cannot drink this week because my partner is home this week. I'm hiding food (and alcohol) again and I hate myself because of this. I am on my way out the door now to head to work and I'm going to stop and get 3 protein shakes to have at work today as well as a bunch of water. Maybe if I detox myself and get to feeling better, get some therapy and overall start working on myself again, I might feel better. Thanks for the ear(s).

I completely understand! You are SO brave to voice your pain. I lost over 100lbs and have gained over 40lbs....most, if not all of it from drinking. I love wine. I feel like I'm back to where I was before surgery. I feel like a failure. I have joined Weigh****chers with a friend (whom has not had surgery) and she has lost 25lbs...since joining with her I have GAINED 15lbs...that was 18 weeks ago. WTF?! I feel like I'm back at my OLD SELF. Eating crap like fast food, which I didnt like for over a year after surgery. I'm not sure what to do. ya, I need to stop drinking...I have many excuses for not stopping...ie: I;m a functional drunk, not nasty or mean and can carry on a "normal life"--I only drink at night to "relax" when I know I should be doing something else. (I hope I don't regret posting this!) Question: How do I get back on track? Will I EVER feel that great "fullness" again? How do I USE my TOOL? Will it work for me again?> How do I work It? Has anyone gone throught this? Did you succeed? Thanks for listening.