help!

i am so ashamed... i had surgery 2/2004, i lost 140 lbs. now, it is 5/06 and i have gained back 70 lbs! i can eat everything. i really screwed up. i have tried dieting, but just can't lose weight. i feel horrible, i can't move like i could last year. i am looking into revisions, but found out there is not too many doctors who will do this. i am desperate and very depressed ... i failed terribly. does anybody have any words of wisdom for me? please HELP!

Patricia - keep that head UP! It sounds like you need to re-focus and get back to basics. Losing 140 pounds is fabulous. Gaining 70 back is a little scary. The good thing is that you know you CAN do it and you have. I know that many of the men and women on this board have "smarts" and lots of suggestions to help you find your way back to healthier choices. Something that has helped me to never get back to 370 pounds is to keep a picture of myself at my heaviest somewhere where I see it every day. I never want to be there again. I can eat just about everything, too and it scares me to death. You can do this...do it for yourself and for all the freedom you have given yourself from fat. You did succeed, you just need to find it again. Don't let it beat you. Good luck, Denise

Patricia, You've done the first and most important thing you could have done to get back on track... you've recognized that you need to do something! I've gained some weight back and it scares me also. What helps me to keep on track is weighing myself everyday. Its when I quit weighing myself that I get into trouble. Knowing exactly what my body is doing keeps me pretty much accountable. I can also eat a lot of food at one sitting and it scares me half to death. I've started logging everything I eat on fitday.com. That helps alot! Also, as hard as it is, going back to the basics helps... protein first, getting at least 64 ounces of water in daily (not during meals), daily vitamins and some form of exercise at least 3 days a week for 30 minutes. Maybe you could pick one of these and do it for the first week or two. You would be headed in the right direction and it wouldn't then feel like "dieting". We check on each other every Friday to see how we're doing and to support each other. Please, join us! It helps to know you are not the only one struggling and that you have a support group you can lean on. We can definitely give you support!!! I know I need it!!! Please know you're not alone! I struggle daily also. Best wishes, Wanda

Patricia, Sending you many hugs and a great deal of understanding. I would highly suggest going to your doctor and requesting that they do an upper GI test (I believe that is the correct one). It will show whether or not you have a staple line disruption. Altho they are rare, they do happen. If you have a staple line disruption, it would allow you to eat more and gain weight. Also if you have one, it means you need to have it fixed (revision). Some people have no discomfort with the staple line disruption, so a test is the only way to confirm. A dear friend has had the same issues as you. Lost 150 lbs, gained back 50. He had the testing done a couple of weeks ago. Staple line was totally in tack. Surgeon said that stomach is the size of an orange (which is still MUCH smaller than the normal stomach). Because the pouch was still intact, my friend could still lose weight as the tool was still there. My friend has decided to go back to Atkins or South Beach way of eating. He had allowed a huge amount of sugars into his diet (he doesn't dump) and also ate chips etc. He is also starting to exercise which he had not done since the weight had come off so easily. The surgeon did tell him that he would not do the revision unless there was a disruption because the surgery had greater risks and there would be a great deal of scar tissue to deal with adding to the complication possibility. I have two friends who had staple line disruptions and had revisions and have been very successful. There are surgeons who do them, and it is possible to get insurance to pay for them .... but you only want to to go someone who has done a number of them, not brand new at it. We all can eat more now than we could even a year ago. This is normal. We just have to watch what we eat, exercise, drink lots of fluids, take our vitamins, and make protein a major priority for ourselves. It is hard to stick to the rules, but we can do it. On Fridays, we have a commitment thread for this group. Please join us. Start making changes one step at a time. I haven't lost any weight yet, but I am now doing my vitamins daily and exercising on a regular basis too. I like being accountable to the group, it helps me. I know the more carbs that I eat, the more I want. I'm working to get back to the basics too with high protein/low carb eating. I also just started some self-hypnosis tapes that I hope will help control my grazing/nibbling during the day. It can be a difficult road, but know you are not alone and that we are here to help you if you need us. Please participate in our Friday thread too. It just may be of help to you. Mary

thank you all for your responses. i am trying to go back to my post-op eating. i will continue to follow-up with you all. i have been looking for a dr. who will do a revision also. thank you again for your support. patricia