Feeling like a failure

And just to add, you might find more people at your stage of being banded if you go on the lapband board. You can support each other!

Kate

I feel your pain!!!! I'm 7 weeks out and felt exactly like that in the beginning and still a little bit now! I felt no control over myself and like i didn't even have surgery! I can eat whatever i want and however much i want and feel nothing! I didn't feel banded! But you will start to lose weight and then you're like... oh **** i can do this! And hopefully it gets better after your first fill, thats what it took for me! I dont have a lot of restriction but i have some. I'm losing too, but really sloooooow! Hang in there, I'mm trying and i know it's hard right now but you can do it!

You don't need a good kick in the ass, we have all been there and what you are describing is normal!!!!

You wil get less hungry as time goes on and when you reach a decent fill level. To be honest though I do get a little hunger pang but nothing like the ravenous ones I used to get.....some loose hunger and some have a little regardless of fill level....we are all different.

I didn't get my first fill till 7 weeks, 6 weeks from the post op visit and was given 3cc's fill....I am glad that I was well healed first, I want this band to last as long as possible....they schedualed me for 6 weeks after that but they did let me go back at 4 weeks...and have been very flexable in letting me decide the amount of fill (but no sooner than every 4 weeks). Like the last few times I felt close to my sweet spot and I only wanted 1cc I wanted to creep up on it (I live over an hour away and don't want to have to go back for a unfill)....they do have limits and may be a little conservative.....but they base the fill on the answers to the questions they ask and the rate of weight loss...I think after the initial they will only give 2 cc max (but that could vary by person)....

I look at it this way, they are the pros, I want this band to last a lifetime, I want to have the least amount of problems possible, and I didn't put the weight on overnight and it is not going to come off overnight........I also think that what you get out of band depends on what you put in to it......

I am fortunate that I have a good NUT who is there for me if I need her to be, my NP that does my fills has a backround in fitness and exercise and spends as much time with me as I need to answer my questions....

It takes work but it is not as much work as it has been in the past......

Good luck, hang in there!!!!!

Remember your efforts = results

Sounds like you have a case of buyer's remorse.

It is way, way too soon for you (or your dad) to be calling you a failure.

Unless your surgeon put some fill in your band during surgery, your band isn't even working yet.  As another OH member, Kris, has been known to say: trying to lose weight with an unfilled band is like trying to drive a car with 4 flat tires.

Now here's the kick in the a** part:

Even after you've gotten some fill, your band will not do 100% of the weight loss job for you.  Eating because of hunger is fine (and your band will eventually help in that area, because smaller amounts of food should keep you satisfied longer), but eating out of boredom, or because you "think" you need to eat, is not OK.  Your band is on your stomach, not in your brain.  It will not make good food choices for you, it will not exercise for you, it will not cure head hunger or boredom eating or emotional eating.  As you said yourself, YOU have to take control.

At 16 mos post-op, I would have to say that my weight loss success is 40% due to my band and 60% due to my own effort to make better food choices, exercise more, control portions, deal with head hunger, and other lifestyle changes.  (Don't get me wrong: that 40% contribution by my band is HUGE!)

I suggest that you quit calling yourself a failure (it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy) and start thinking of yourself as a success story in the making.

As for your dad, I'd say it's time to start practicing self-assertion skills.  If you live with him and can't avoid him altogether, try the old "broken record" technique.  Choose a neutral response to his typical comments and just keep repeating it over and over again, no matter what he says.  For example, if he says, "Should you be eating that?", say, "Thanks for your concern."  In my experience, even the worst nag has a hard time coming up with an answer to that.

Jean