Feeling like a failure

I was 3 weeks out yesterday.  I'm having trouble with my port incision (going to ocala today to get that checked out****ep going between 5 and 7 pounds lost :0(     and I've been unable to control myself with FOOD!!!!!!!!!!    I get hungry or just bored and think I need to eat. Not getting the protein or water I need.  Maybe this was a mistake.  My dad looks at me like Im gonna fail. All he does i nag at me. I don't feel good about myself.   I feel like nothing has changed.  I need a good big kick in the ass with a big boot (by someone besides my dad)  I've got to get control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your not a failure !!  AND your only 3 weeks out which is so little time. Your body probably hasn't even healed completely as yet or adjusted to the band. Give your body time to heal and adjust first.

Also keep in mind that band patients lose slower than RNY patients. Have you had any fills on the band as yet?  I know that my surgeon does not do any adjustment fills for at least a month post op so the band is at its widest opening and food will go through much quicker for that first month. This fact was heavily stressed in our pre op classes. Our advisor said that for that first month, you may not feel much difference and you will still be able to eat a larger amount. She said that it may take several months and fills to get the band adjusted properly to where you will only be able to eat small amounts and feel full for a long period of time.  And you don't want to compare yourself with anyone else since we are all different and our bodies will all work differently when it comes to weight lose rate.

I know it's hard to be patient and not compare. I am actually having reservations about my husbands upcoming band surgery, only becuase I hope he doesn't get discouraged by comparing himself to me. ( I had RNY sugery on 1/23/09) I will obviously drop the weight much quicker than he will.

I think a lot of us want to see results so badly that we jump the gun and expect too much to soon. As for your father (and other uneducated people) they don't know how the process works.  I think they expect to see overnight results and when they don't they are much too quick to judge.

I don't think you need a kick in the ass... I think you need support from others who have been through it.  Those people who haven't been through it can't possibly understand and give proper support. Believe me... once they get that band properly adjusted, your food control issue should be easier to get under control, because if you eat too much after that, it's gonna come right back up.  Not a very pleasant thing and that will certainly give you a kick in the ass if you need it.... LOL.

Don't look at yourself as a failure.... You have only just begun your journey. Your being too hard and unfair to yourself at this early point.  Keep posting here on this message forum and I know that the wonderful people here will help you through it all.
Keep your head high and keep looking towards the furture of a new life. 

Take care,
Kim

No, no fills yet and I don't get one until Feb 23 or 24th.  Thats seems like a long time to me. More than a month. My surgery was on Jan 7th.  Everything you said to me (which was very sweet, thank you!!!!!) I already really know.  But, this is just much harder than I EVER thought it would be.  I knew going into this that until I get a fill that the weight would be slow go but, I'm not eating near the food I did before getting the band.....so why in the world is it so hard to lose????  Thats the part that makes no sense to me what so ever.    anyway that you for the pep talk...I guess I needed one more than I thought I would.  I love OH and all the people on here......what would we do without them?

OMG girlfriend.... I can totally understand how you feel !! 

I'm by far a sedentary type person. I'm a police officer ( K9 handler ) and also raise, train, breed and compete with my german & dutch shepherds. Working the dogs alone is a fulltime physical job, let alone caring for the kennel and property I own. I am always on the move, doing lots of physical labor. But yet I still couldn't seem to get my weight under control.

I always said to myself ... I diet, I get a heck of a lot of exercise and do 100 times the physical labor that most people at my weight could even begin to dream of doing... so why in the heck can't I lose weight? !!!!!

My doctor and I agreed that my so called "diets" were probably not the best for my body. Until I started in the 6 month pre op program, I really didn't know about the importance of getting the proper amount of protein in each day by eating 6-8 small meals. AND also lets not forget that nasty little word... genetics.... lol   I took whole heartedly after my father and his side of the family who were all very stocky and large. Once that "fat gene" was unleashed as a very young child, it grew out of control as I became an adult.  But these two things are only a part of an overall picture of total factors. 

My worst fear going into my surgery was not thoughts of complications or death but that I would go through this life altering surgery and still wouldn't be able to lose any weight.  I still have that fear since I'm so early on in the game and I'm only 6 days out. But the doctor assured me that I will lose weight, although it may take a little time initially for my body chemistry to re-adjust and for my body to start buring the fat. Right now my body is in shock, and when the body goes into shock from what it feels is starvation, it slows down and tires to reserve the fat it has stored. 

By looking at your picture, you and I look to be built quiet similar.  I started out at the begining of the 6 month pre op program at 275.  I got down to 227 during that time buy following their protein diet and implementing a form of exercise (which was swimming) on top of the physical labor I already do on a daily basis. I gained about 10 pounds back prior to the surgery because I quit smoking so my weight on surgery day was 236. Of course I wan't happy about the weight gain but I cut myself a break since my girlfriend quit at the same time and she gained 25 pounds. 

But anyway..... I'm trying not to expect too much too soon.  Although it is hard when people are already asking me how much weight I've lost.  I think to myself, for christ sake I'm only 6 days out, do they think this is a miracle overnight thing?.... Ugh  I still haven't gotten rid of all that friggin gas they pumped me full of yet !!! 

I know I'm one of the ones cursed with that ugly genetics factor (could you be too?) so it may just take our bodies a little longer to adjust.  Plus... it's winter time which sucks... can't get out an do nearly as much.  I'm looking so forward to summer when I can get the pool opened up and really get back to the form of exercise I love. 

Feel free to shoot me an email every so often, even if it is just to B*tch and let off steam if your frustrated. It's all a part of the process.  

Good luck and keep at it girlfriend !!

Kim 

Girl!!  You are not a failure!!  Right now I am dying for food too!  I can't wait to eat!  That is one of the big problems with lab band, we are still hungry.  I have heard from so many people that you dont get that satisfied feeling until after you have a fill or 2!   I think a 5-7 lb weight loss is good!  We are only supposed to lose like 2 lbs a week. 

I am so sorry about your port incision, mine is still covered.  My staples are still in and killing me too!  I have to go to Ocala tomorrow and hopefully everything will be healing nicely!   I so hope Dr J clears me for mushies,  I am dying over here!! 

Try to eat your protein....  You really don't want to lose your hair!! 

Just got home not long ago from the dr.  He said that it looked like I was a little infected but not to worry since he called in an antibiotic a few days ago.  Just keep it clean and covered.  But he said he wouldn't change my fill date which is not until the 24th of Feb since I'm having problems with my incision....better to be safe!!!!!!!!  I guess I can't argue with that!!!!!   Thanks for you support.....sometimes I don't know what I would do with out OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

People who undergo surgery have a huge wave of emotions that take over after.  Each person is different but for some it can take a month or two to get everything back to "normal."  The important thing at this time is to follow the eating plan your surgeon wants you to do.  Also, please make sure you drink your water, this will help you feel full.

Tell your Dad you've been through enough and that you need his support not his negativity.  You must take the bull by the horns and do this FOR YOU.

You were the one who made this decision, we're here to support you but you have to take charge now.

Hugs,
Barb

Hi Genblosum:
I think you may be a bit too hard on yourself, although perhaps you do need the kick to get back into control (only you would know).  I am 3 weeks out this week also.  We are now in "bandster hell". Take care of yourself by following your surgeon's instructions!  They are there for a reason.  The Lap Band doesn't restrict you much until you have several fills which can take anywhere from 3 to 9 months from posts I have seen - the key here is seeing your doctor regularly.  For better or worse, it's like a diet at first - following the band eating and drinking rules even though you don't have restriction so you still feel hungry.   You need "some" will power to start with your protein, then veg/fruit and limit the carbs (although nothing is forbidden except perhaps carbonated beverages).  Also you need to not eat constantly but keep to 3 to 6 small meals, and drink enough water.  I worry about my will power also.  I found my weight loss stalled after leaving liquids, and I definitely have had meals that were not right for my stage at times.  Liquids in some ways was easier than having to cook and choose foods.  But I think if I can follow the rules more often than not, and be patient until I have good restriction, I'll eventually get there.  I think you will too!  You are doing this for you, not for your dad.  Can you tell him the nagging doesn't help?   

((((((Genblosum))))))

You've made a HUGE step on your journey.. give yourself time to heal. 

Do the steps that you can... be diligent on getting all of your water in.  Do make sure that you get the right amount of protein daily.  Getting in all of your protein is the key during "bandster hell".  Protein keeps you feeling fuller longer.

During my pre-op sugar free clear liquid diet, I dropped 40 pounds.  Having surgery, I gained 7 pounds (liquids & gasses)  The first week after surgery, I dropped 10 pounds (the 7 that I gained plus 3 more)  After that, I hit a 10 day plateau.  No losses.  I was like "How in the heck can that be???)   But, our bodies need a chance to breath & catch up.  

It's our job to follow our surgeon's plans.  Try to get a little exercise each day... it doesn't matter how much, how fast or for how long... just so you are moving.

It's our body's job to let go of the weight.

Remember to be kind to yourself... think positive.. and stay plugged into the OH boards.  I know for a fact that I would not have been as successful in my own journey without all of the help, motivation & support that I have received from the nice people here.

I wish you the best!!
*hugs*
Smilin'

Nothing has changed! Well, you have the band but until you get it filled with saline (rarely before 6 weeks post-op as we need to make sure everything is safely healed first) there is very unlikely to be any difference in the way you feel or can eat.

There are two important things to be aware of when you get banded. Firstly, it does not start to have an effect straightaway and so if you want to start losing weight straightaway, it is down to you! The second thing is that of all the WLS, we have to work the hardest. We had the least alteration to our insides, which was often why we chose the band, but the trade off is that we have to do more ourselves.

The band does not make us lose weight! We do not malabsorb any of our food. What the band does is when filled it limits the quantity we can eat and makes us feel full sooner and for longer. We still have to make the choices of food which give weight loss.

So you do need to start to exercise some of those choices now! Practise eating high protein (we always start our meals with protein to fill us up). You will still be on either thick liquids or purees at the moment and that is hard going. But hang on in there, the band is wonderful once we get it set up!

Kate