Im a failure

I'm the biggest hypocrite on this board.

I went off on everyone who cheated and on day 9 ....I CHEATED!!!!!!!!!!

I had called the nutritionist and asked if i could have some and she said to bump my protein shakes up from 1 a day to 4-6 a day. She asked how much weight i have lost and i told her 30 since i saw the surgeon in Sept. She said it was OK to eat something and not feel guilty about it and then get back on track. So i did. It was not even good. I was not even Hungary. I just wanted it. It was not a treat or a "i deserve this" it was just i knew it was in the kitchen and i wanted it.

Then, today, i gave the dogs some left over corn bread...( how ironic that i jumped all over kimber for her corn bread and her i am doing the same thing) and i had a few crumbs...then a bite and then i felt so out of control and felt like i was losing it that i took the whole pan and dumped it into the dogs bowls.

WTF???? Day 9 and 10 and NOW i am going to screw it up?? 
I'm not even Hungary anymore. I'm past that. I was doing so good.

I am sooooooooooooooo sorry for the things i said to everyone about cheating.
I thought i was above it and i guess I'm not.

Does this mean i am going to screw up my WLS?


Oh..AND i have stop losing weight. I have only had like 1 protein shake a day and sometimes i skip that. WTF?? I cant eat any less. I am totally obsessed with losing weight. I weigh like 4 times a day. I really want to lose another 6 pounds by my surgery on Monday.

I am so over this...if i could go in tonight i would just to get it over with.  I'm not even Hungary. I don't WANT anything. I guess it is just being board or head hunger or maybe i need to face that fact that i DO have an addiction. I CANT stop. This is why i am having the surgery.
 
I don't want any sympathy i just wanted to confess to you all. I felt you all deserved to know.

I think this hapened so you would understand you are human! 

We all are! 

Although I REALLY wanted to....  I hesitated to post before when you left your long winded statement about her and others slip up.

I am glad I waited so I could post with a clear head now..


I to am going through this and is not easy, it is not about hunger!  It is about a relationship we are leaving behind, a relationship with food... 

No you are not going to FAIL! 
You have support.. and you are not alone...

Use this expierience...grow from it..

Mistakes happen( and I don't mean cheeting on a liquid diet)

My daddy use to say "not to throw rocks especially  when you live in a glass house".

things happen and the only true mistake made is from one which we learn nothing!!

Venus

My mom use to say something like "that's the kettle calling the teapot black" but the glass house thing works too.  LOL

I'm so glad you are all so forgiving.  I got so caught up and took things soo serious that i forgot i was not perfect....LOL. I should of known it would come back to butt me in the butt. LOL

grrrrrrr......3 more days (Fri/sat/sun) and then MONDAY....my new birthday!!

Amanda,

This is not a good time for you to be beating yourself up, in fact love and embrace yourself becaue you have made an educated decision to become a healthier you. 

You are about to embark on an incredible journey. 

Please DO NOT short change what liquid intake you are supposed to be having because it is not healthy to do so, at this point forget about what more you want to lose before Monday because that is going to be what it's going to be.  Stay well hydrated as this will make your surgery so much easier on you and your anesthesiologists and nurses.

While the liquid diet is to shrink the liver, it is also meant to reframe your relationship with food and get you ready for your post op diet (liquids and thicker liquids) because your new pouch will be swollen and can't tolerate solids. 

Trust me, there are some "meals" where 2 tablespoons of low fat cottage cheese is just too much so I don't want the last bite and I stop. 

You are going to do great, you need to believe and forgive yourself.

I believe in you and I'm here to give you the support and friendship that will help get us through this because it helps me too.

Hang in there, a short time til Monday.

Hugs,
Barb

Thanks!!

I'm in tears Reading your post.
How lucky i am to have all of you.
I really let this liquid diet go to my head.

Thank you very much!!

I'm on day 10 and going mental too. I think it may be a day 9-10 thing perhaps. We have come so far and still have those few days to go - it seems like forever.  Hang on in there, don't beat yourself up, we're all just doing the best we can. 

I swear...day 9 and 10...whats that all about. I thought i was in the clear and over it. 
It really snuck up on me. Kinda caught me off guard.

Oh well.

3 more days.

(((HUGS)))

Could it be that you guys are just plain HUNGRY?  I mean c'mon, you have had no food in your system for days.  Not even a 100lb. woman soak and wet could do that.!  Get a grip guys, you are NOT going to fail.  You have done all that was asked of you.  The road to victory is up ahead.   After surgery, the two weeks on liquids is very easy, you will not be hungry.  Take it easy on yourselves.  Start seeing yourselves as victorious, okay? 

Well...i really am not Hungary. Hard to believe but I'm not. Its all in my head. LOL
(head hunger...its a real thing..i looked it up!! LOL)

Victorious...wow...thats going to be me!!

Hello!

You have already lost the weight that needs to be lost right?

My surgery is being done at a Center of Excellence in Indianapolis ans they do over 250 surgeries a MONTH and they require NO pre-op diet at all.  None...just a light breakfast and no foods after noon the day before surgery.  They said they only surgeons with "poorer skill" (their words NOT mine) are that concerned about skrinking the liver for LAPRO surgery and if we could go 2 weeks without eating before surgery than we probably do not even need the surgery..lol.

I think you are fine!
Take Care,
Denise