Jealous Co-workers

I have shared an office at work with the same girl for 2 years now, and I thought that we were friends... We've done a lot of things outside of work, like shows, dinner, happy hour, work events, going for pedicures- I even went to her son's wedding this summer. She is also morbidly obese, with about 50 lbs. more that I have to lose. We have tried many diets together (and failed, of course) and have exercised together at the gym at work.

We have talked about WLS many times in the past, but she's been acting funny since I've made the decision to do this and have been progressing towards the big day. When we left work today (my last day before surgery on Tuesday), she didn't even say "good luck" or "let me know how you're doing" or anything. Everyone else at work who knows made a point to seek me out to say "good luck" today, and 2 of the girls took me out for a great lunch- one last splurge. This girl was invited, but made up an excuse about having too much work to do. I am really bothered and hurt by this. I know that she is probably jealous, because I probable would be on some level if it were her having surgery instead of me. But I am sure that I would be mature and considerate enough to wish her well!!  Then someone told me that she has been saying things like "I would rather lose weight the natural way, with diet and exercise". When I see her again, I am going to call her out on this. First of all, we DO stick to a diet and exercise program after surgery. RNY is just a tool, not a miracle. Second, if she could lose weight that easily, then I wonder why she is still about 160 lbs. overweight today- especially since she had a heart attack 1 1/2 yrs. ago and has not lost an ounce since then!

WHY are people so mean???
Just had to vent.

Some people!!  I'm sorry your coworker is acting like this.  I'm sure she is jealous.  Its sad she feels this way.  WLS is such an amazing tool, but as you said it is just that, a tool.  You have a ton of work ahead of you.  And you are so right if she could lose weight easily she would be skinny now!

 

Thank you, Jaime
I shouldn't let people get to me, I know. This is probably going to happen to all of us, more than once. My reply is going to be just what you said- this is a tool, and the hard work is still up to me.

I know I had my surgery in December but I noticed your post and I found it funny because I had some problems at my work, I used to be really good friends with someone at work we worked together for 10 years now but when I started to get more involved with my surgery We quit smoking together on June 28th of this year we went on a diet...well a few diets together we used to walk together our kids were close now we dont speak out of work. she is covering some of my shifts only because she had to because I put her on the schedule to do it but it went further than that, I was standing outside of the kitchen where I work and she piped up and made a comment about the drunk surgeon in Boston and other co workers were talking about it and she piped up again and said maybe my surgeon will be him...and I was hurt because what if something did go wrong with my surgery you know I would hope she would have to think about it on a daily basis. so now I am slowly wedging my way back into work and I go in there I dont talk about my surgery, if someone asks I say im doing fine even if im not!!! I dont need people wasting their time running their mouths about me behind my back, she keeps saying in front of me I should get surgery she already lost 40 lbs...and I do feel there is some jealousy going on....well sorry for butting in to the January peoples post but like you said...needed to vent

Michele,
Thanks for sharing this. I guess it's pretty common. After all, no one wants to be the only fat one left in the office, right? I'm sure that I would be jealous if it were the other way around, but like I said, I pray that I would be able to be pleasant and supportive of someone else who was about to have life-changing surgery.

I agree with you about not talking too much about the surgery at work. I plan on keeping a low profile as far as that goes, too. Whatever they say behind my back is OK- it probably is just jealousy.

Laurie, sorry your co worker was such a schmuck. She probably wishes she had the nerve to take the first step and go for it too. I know it doesn't make her behavior acceptable, but she IS jealous. You will be all thin and happening and she will still be her fat miserable self and she knows that. Hold your head up and take the high road. Hopefully she will come around.
Emily

Thanks, Emily! I needed the encouragement. You're right, she's the one who will end up being left in the dust, and she will still be fat and miserable. I'm doing what I need to do for me. Who cares if it bothers others!

I know how that feels I am having surgery on the 7th and some of my co-workers try and make me feel as though I am taking the "easy" way out, Hell there is nothing easy about any of this. I am greatful that I will have a tool to help me control what I can't seem to do on my own. Best of luck to all of us up coming "losers" LOL.

Wow, I'm sorry your co-working is being that way.

I know how you feel- I'm on the third day of my liquid diet.  Yesterday I loaded up my purse with jello and went to see a movie with a friend- a good friend who has known for weeks that I would be on a liquid diet because she went out to all my 'last suppers'.  She is also overweight.  Well at the movies she pulls out a bag of cookies and tries to give me one- when I wouldn't take it she was like 'oh, i forgot, you don't know what you're missing'.  Then she proceeded to eat the entire bag.

I'm not asking for folks to stop eating in front of me or anything, but some encouragement would be nice. 

So I know how you feel.  But hang in there!!! I know you'll feel so much better when you can walk farther, do more, and get rid of that mental tape measure that takes the measurements of booths, and chairs with arms! I know I will.

Thanks, Jasmine!
Sounds like we all have some less-than-supportive "friends". At least we all have each other!
I can't wait to be able to sit comfortably in a booth again, by the way!
Good Luck to you!