worried husband

My surgery is 1/16 and today my husband mentioned in passing that he wishes I would reconsider the surgery. I had a feeling he felt that way, but he never really said it out loud before. I have been working hard for almost a year, he couldn't talk with me before? Anyone else out there losing their support at the last minute? (By the way, I am not reconsidering and told him I understand he is nervous, but I will be healthier in the end)

i hit the wrong button and just happen to see your post. my husband did the same thing to me. i tried for the 6 years we were together to get surgery and when i finally got the go ahead he was not happy. it seemed at the time like he was just trying to cause me stressand be a jerk, but now that we look back and talk about it, it was just that he was afraid of something going wrong and him losing me. im sure that is what is worrying your husband too. i told my husband that i really dont think i would have been here a year later if i had not have had surgery when i did. good luck and i hope everything works out for the best.

Hi- I went through something similar- my husband was acutally very supportive, but he was scared for me- I had lap band surgery 9-4-07. Get him information from your surgeon for him to read...take him to a support meeting with you... the more information he has about the surgery, the less concerned he should feel about complications. Good luck, you will be healthier in the end!- Laura.

My husband said the same thing earlier this week. He walked by and said " i am worried about this surgery" now he will not give me a chance to find out what is worring him so we can talk about it. Well we have to drive to Tucson this week so I will try and get him to talk.

I had surgery April 2006 and my hubby was kinda like that , also. I think part of them is concerned as to who we 'will be' after we loose weight and if it will affect our relationship w/ them. Does that make sense to you? Good luck w/ your surgery .... it WILL change you life FOREVER!!! Sherri

We talked a little more about it. I think 1st he is afraid of the actual surgery. Then I think he is worried on how it will change are relationship. I told him that I hope it will make it stronger. I'm not that comfortable with the way I look and that effect us in a personal way. Plus I will have more energy to go out and play with him and my son. I am going to ask him for a list of questions maybe the doc can answer for him. I go to the doc on Monday. Hopefully that will help ease his mind. Thanks for your support. Good luck to all!

My hubby keeps telling me now is not the right time. When would be the right time? When I can't move cause of pain from arthrhitis? Mine has actually gotten more suppotive the closer it gets and I suspect he has even been on here too looking at stuff. I married a stubborn Italian so he will stick to his not now opinion even if he changes his mind. Good luck with everything.

I am new to the board - just a couple of days and my surgery is 1/28 after two years of trying and going thru red tape. I'm sure it's just nerves or fear with your hubby. I'm sure he'll be very supportive of you when the time comes. He's just have second thoughts like I was when I was in Fresh Market the other day. Hang in there. I read Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies and it was great, I thought. Others may have differing opinions. Two of the things they mentioned were that 1) your spouse may oppose the surgery for fear that you'll look beautiful and they'll lose you or that you'll be smaller and they, if they are now heavy, will still be heavy; 2) that your friends may sabotage you because if you are the heaviest person in your group (work or friends) and you lose the weight you'll be making someone else the heaviest person in the group. Go figure. You're going to do fine and I can't wait to hear how it went. You have one week to go and I have three. It's just not going fast enough!! Terri

Thanks for your support. Good luck! I think this is going to the longest week of my life.

My hubby has gone with me to every consult with the surgeon. After the first time, he said he felt much better. He understood what was happening more and he felt comfortable wit the dr herself which helped alot to ease his fears. He is also a paramedic firefighter so hospitals, etc. arent very scary to him. LOL It helped him to be invloved in the process leading up to the actually surgery (in one week!). Would it be possible for your hubby to go with you to an appointment and meet the doctor himself? That might help! Good luck!!!!