Jealousy!

Do any of you have family members or friends who say they are "concerned" about your decision to have WLS, but you know they are just jealous that you're gonna be slimmer and they think you're taking the "easy" road instead of losing the weight through traditional diet and exercise? Can't believe they think this is the "easy" route. This has been a decision that I have not come to lightly. Once I committed and scheduled my surgery date, my mind was whirling in circles trying sort out the pros and cons. I spent many a restless night mulling over my options, thinking of the consequences of continuing in the same path I'm on now (fat, lonely and unhealthy), or going forward with this surgery. I plan to follow doctor's orders and make this thing work!

my boss is like that. she has consistently said 'just join weigh****chers. there are people there that are even bigger than you'. i finally said 'stop', and we no longer discuss it. btw, congrats on your surgery on thursday! that's very exciting, and i'm glad you've got your dad's support. toni

Sister-in-law is acting like a horse's behind about this deal. Brother sends me e-mails of scary articles about surgeries gone WRONG! Mom is constantly saying things that make it sound like I'm gonna die and that the quality of my life is going to suffer. Said she has a friend online who's son had the surgery. Said he lost weight but looks OLD. Mom says she's afraid I won't be able to ever get health insurance afterward. Says I need to make a will... Good Grief! I wish I had never told any of them...just run off for a few days and start losing weight and never tell them I had surgery.

I have one friend that has referred to it as the easy way out. Since when did having major surgery to correct a problem I haven't had control of in 20 years easy? I just let it slide because I know that 5 yrs ago when my best friend had it I was scared for her (and probably jealous) and wasn't super positive (though I didn't say so to her). Fear of the unknown. Most of us suffer from it. I have intentionally not told some members of my family because I didn't want to hear their opinion of it. The ones that haven't had weight problems at all in their life and can't figure out why "weigh****chers" doesn't work for everyone.

I'm so mad because my "girl thing" has arrived again after only two weeks! I was so hoping not to have to deal with that during recovery. My system has been out of wack for the last two years. I'm really hoping losing weight will help in that department, too.

oh-oh-oh-oh-oh .... Yes I can relate to you !!!!! I TOTALLY know where your coming from .... I had a few people tell me the same thing .. " You need to really think about what your going to do this changes your whole life" If I got a $1.00 for everytime I heard that well let's just say I'd have lot's of cash =) You know what your doing is the right thing and is for your health.

Congratulations on your upcoming surgery Dora. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Just wanted to give you a word of encouragement and to tell you to just tune those people out. What they do not get is that this is an extremely personal decision, and you are right there is nothing easy about it. Stick to your guns girl and work hard to become the person you always knew you could be. On a side note...you are always going to run across those "well meaning" folks that you just know in your heart are saying what they are because they are jealous of what you have worked hard to achieve. Believe me I hear it more now then I did when I first told everyone of my decision only now its..."your going to stop losing now right? Because I really think you would look unhealthy if you get too skinny" Well of course I would but I am no where near that and I won't ever be since I work out without fail 3 times a week. Plus I am only down to 150 and am 5'3" so am no where near "skinny". Am I going to try...you better believe it. I just say "don't worry my doctor knows what's best for me and I am not at doctors goal yet." Wow sorry for the book, I just feel your frustration with all the "well meaning folks" Your going to do just fine!!! Godspeed my friend!! Anna

I know what ya'll are talking about! My husband is totally saying this is "the easy way out". But he's 6'0 and 180 soaking wet. If I ate like him, I'd be even bigger than I am! However, I'm getting my Lap-Band on Friday and I'm going to do this right. I've spent too long too heavy. However, I as well lost sleep, mulling over all the options--that's totally normal since this is a big deal. I've not been shy telling folks--I assume they'll see me lighter soon and I won't try to act like "I've just been watching what I eat". Most of my family has kept their opinions to themselves. Guess they realize all the surgical risks are tiny compared to the risks of being obese! Hang tough! Your determination is admirable.

Thanks for all the great responses! Wow! I was thinking it would be better to just go ahead and admit that I'm having surgery rather than be all "Star Jones" about it. I'm going to be losing weight right off the bat and I know folks will wonder how I'm doing it. I just hope my recovery goes smoothly and that adjusting won't depress me. I've been using food as a substitute for a social life, so I'm interested to see how I will handle the transition. Thing about letting people know is that you get the strangest reactions from people you would never have expected... But I guess it's like online dating - for a while it was weird and taboo, but now it's the norm. Looks like WLS is turning into a viable option for those of us who need a little extra help. I'm so grateful to have this option.