Well, I went back to the Dr, she has me taking iron once a day plus what I get in my multi vitamin plus she wants me to pack in Iron rich foods.  I am off B12 totally until they re test me in a month, then she said if it was the same or lower they would start me on shots.

Anna-
So good to hear from you!!!
Did everything all heal up well from the plastics- are you happy with the results?
Brit :)

I so related to both of your posts.  Suz- I started like you- just a random day having too much sweets on an unplanned day.  I didn't gain the first few times- but I kept it up and it does show eventually.  My exercise is consistent for the most part- is that an oxymoron?  Sometimes the triplets get sick... but I usually get 3 times a week- sometimes more- sometimes less.  I tend to go in spurts.
I think mine has been just the poor food choices and the quantities.  A few weeks back I even started the fast food back- now there's a stupid self-sabotaging route...
I tend to set small goals for myself and sometimes that helps- but if I set too lofty ones- then it backfires on me.
I will struggle with this all of my life.  I know some RNY-ers who don't- but I will.  I used to think maybe I should have had the DS- but at the time they told me I wasn't heavy enough.  Plus I've heard that those of us with these issues can eat their way out of pretty much any surgery- and with the vitamin and absorption problems I have with the RNY- I can't imagine what it would be like with a DS...
Kinda- off track there-
I'm also drinking too close to eating.
I think mine may be partially hormone related or something cuz there are groups of days when I'm not nearly as hungry and some when I am totally out of control.
Thanks for posting this-
Brit

I agree that this board means a lot to me too....and I am glad you asked the hard question and I had to write an even tougher response...but maybe publicly writing my issue will help me get a better grip on things.  I don't know.....And you know I almost came back on here and deleted my answer so that it would only have gone to you...but I decided not too...

I was just reading a devotional about Elijah and it talked about the roots of despair and one of them was success....believe it or not.  It stated that "there is often a let down following moments of great success and in the after glow of victory, it can be difficult to face the challenges of normal life"....I think that pretty much sums up where I am at this point...Fatigue and disappointment and loneliness were the other roots of despair listed and see parts of my current struggles in all these things.  Its like the first year was so easy and then when it got to the point where I had almost reached my goal..I got scaerd and tired and just gave up....and not able  or willing to cope with "normal life". 

Some of the responses to despair were -desire to escape (using food to escape from "normal life" and thus the weight gain, desire for solitude...I do find that I want to spend time alone more and more here lately and I am usually sitting home and end of grazing, desire for death-even thought about dying..not killing myself or anything :-) but just thought it would be nice not to have to worry about anything anymore, and then their was self pity....I am definitely all into that one..not taking any positive actions towards my poor eating behaviors just thinking whoa is me and watching the pounds pack on

And of course there was an action plan for the remedy of despair.....care and comfort, confrontation with God, which is hard..I don't really want to face up to my issues, but in order to get over them I have to, Call to help and clairty in truth were the others. 

When I was reading this morning I saw so many parrells to my wls journey that is was weird....the ending was saying that Elijah thought he was strong but found he was weak and how despeartely he needed God...I know part of my problem was that I was thinking "I' was doing all that work the first year but I know it was God grace and His Mercy that gave me the will power and help me make wise decisions...I definitely know now that I cant do it on my own or alone...And God has given me so many wonderful resources such as you....and others on this board who dont mind sharing and listen with out judgement.
End the end God rebuilt Elijahs life out of ashes of despair and I know He is going to do the same for me now!! 

Okay..so I did not mean to write so much but this is what was on my mind.  Thanks agin for always being there.

Oh, Steph...you're right, it is so hard to publicly admit our faults. I think that we as WLS survivors are also extra critical of ourselves, and sometimes others. This makes it amazingly difficult to reach out and ask the hard questions...and also to listen to the answers.

I am finding myself making more "less healthy" choices as time passes, and although they are usually small portions, of course they add up. I am starting to fear the possible day when I will be making all "less healthy" choices and start to gain again. For instance, for Thanksgiving we went out of town to visit relatives. It was non-stop, wall-to-wall food and sweets for four days. I couldn't seem to stop myself from indulging in cookies and cake. I didn't dump once :o(. Even on the 13 hour drive home I bought and consumed two packs of M & M's. I don't know why I did any of it. The worst part for me is that I left Sac without planning...no protein shakes or bars, no foods that I could lean on when I needed to. I did it purposefully. By the end of our trip, I did feel a bit out of control.

Anyway, I (somehow??) didn't gain any weight while eating like crap. Most would think that it was a good thing...but for me, it just reinforces my ability to sabotage myself and my choices, because after all, I didn't gain so it must be okay, right? Ugh!! I am so afraid that I am heading down a path that I might regret ever trying.

I just have to say to you that I am so sorry that you have been struggling like you have. You are such a wonderful woman, and I know that you want to remain a success...you deserve it. These issues in our heads really seem to want to hang on and stay incognito. It sucks this can't be easier for us to figure out. I am so grateful that we at least have each other to lean on and look to for honest discussion without judgment. This board means the world to me...even if I sometimes get too busy to post or respond. It weird really....because I always have oodles of crap to talk about!! Honestly, I could drive everyone crazy if I talked about everything that goes through my head! Anyway, thank you soooo much for taking the time to respond. Maybe that will prompt others to come out of hiding? lol.

~Suz