Anti Depressants-Extra LONG Post Venting

So not to be in anyones personal business or anything but lately I have been reading that a few of us have taken or are currently taking anti depressants.  ( If you don't have time to read the entire post, the pink section is the question of the day).  I have been told by my primary health care doctor and now my internal medicine doctor, that I should condsider taking them to deal with anxiety.  My PHP prescribed me prozac at first but I did not want to take them...I was like I don't want to have to take "crazy" meds....(No offense to anyone just they way I joke about them) one of my good friends call them happy pills...then when I would not take those and went back on for a follow visit, she suggested I try effexor, and gave me samples.  I tried them and could not tell I was taking anything...my dosage was increased but still nothing.  I stopped taking them after about 6 weeks. Then this week my internal medicine doctor asked if I were still taking them and I told her no and she was like, maybe we should try a different med because she said I have a lot going dealing with my daughter ( I only have one kid so I take my hats off to you ladies who are raising multiple kids)!  My 17 year drives me nuts!! She is a good kid but 17 none the less and she says I "annoy her and am always on her back".  And now its college prep time, senior year and all that and I am going nutso!  But anyway...my doctors and life coach I guess think I am driving myself crazy trying to figure out things and fix things that are beyond my control and because I cant fix them or control them, I am turning to food and eating my way thru and thus the weight gain.  They all think I should try the meds to help with the anxiety but I am so afraid of becoming dependent on the meds and also being "label" by the insurance companies.  My life coach also thinks I should be my kid in therapy as well because she thinks my daughter is acting out for a reason and she is old enough to be responsbile for her own actions and I have to stop owning and trying to fix them for her.  So that is on the to do list...we have to pick from the list of recommend therapist and get her started.

What do you guys think about the anitdepressants for my situation?  Two of my therapist thinks they are a good idea too...and see my problem?  I think I know more than doctors do too!  Two doctors and two therapist and my "life coach" think they are a good idea for me but I have resisted for some reason. 

The main reason being that when I did try them, I did not feel any different and still ate all day..and did not feel any less anxious about what is going on in my life..

Okay and just some examples of my normal life  are listed below:

17 year old daughter currently failing 12 grade English and if she does not pass she does not graduate because the class is not offered next semester.  Her GPA was  3.0 but if she does not keep up the grades it will fall and there far making the college scholarships almost impossible to get and I can't pay for school being a single parent and all.

I started doing some intensive partial therapy trying to deal with the emotional issues that were causing me to revert back back to my old eating habits and the two weeks I was able to go I was in therapy from 7:30 to 2:30 and then working from 3 to 11 pm and my daughter was at my mom's house.  During this time, my kid was late to school 6 times (she drives and my mom lives less than 5 minutues from her school) and if you are late a certain number of times it counts as an absence and if you absence more than 8 times, its a automatic failure.  My kid had a car wreck in th school parking lot and now you know my premiums are going up, my mom thought she had a stroke during this time and went in the hospital for 4 days.  They did not find anything but it was scary.  My daughter also got fired from her job!  She is dealing with her first heartbreak and letting this boy jerk her around...they broke up in May but she still will talk to him even though he has a girl friend.  My kid is over weight, she has my bad eating habits and is now starving her self trying to loose weight cause the other kids at school tease her and she has not had a date since her boyfriend broke up with her in May and she is sad about taht and I also found diet pills in her room.

My boyfriend dumped me in July telling me that we were too different and that I had more issues than he could handle...he thought he could be he said I was stressing him out with my levels of stress.....we only dated for 10 months but I was used to him being around and being able to talk to him about different things.  And when he decided he wanted to break up...he just walked completely away...how do you go from talking and being with someone every day for 10 months to not communicating? That bothers me....But I know everything happens for a reason.

Whenever I get dumped I go and spend big money.....Like once I bought a house, next time a new truck (which of course is now a gas guzzler and annoys me), and now in the midst of all this, I decide to update my home. Got my roof redone, getting siding (but a older home when I got dumped 8 years ago) and also had the plumbing redone, minor renovation of my bathroom, and some other smaller things.  Even though I spend big money, I make sure I can afford it and it is usually something that is long over due.  So it is not too bad. 

I am using a contractor who is a relative and I don't know if that was the right decision. Hew has been great but you know how working with family can be.  If things go wrong, its hard for me to be as tough as I would be with someone that is not related to me..but I will do what I need to do, I just feel bad when I have to be stearn with a relative.  And so far it has not been bad.   The plubming is updated but now my sink is stomping up in the kitchen the the plumber says it has notthing to do with the updates he did.  The drains were fine before.  The roofers are done but I think the falling materials damaged my heating unit and I have to get them to figure that one out for me too. I am so cold natured now (I was before surgery but it is worse now.)

Work is cool but I am some things I am so behind on due to equipment problems and the fact that I don't want to do it lol and my manager is always talking about getting it completed. The equipment was messed up for two years (we have been here 3 years) and the paper work to be scanned piles up everyday...so how do they expect me to catch up 3 years of paperwork in 3 months? I dont know.  And oh, they don't want me to work overtime...so I need to catch all that up on top of my daily duties that are never ending.  I love my job except I hate being behind and not seeing a way out of the piles.  oh and some of my coworkers have such annoying habits...like chewing on ice really really loud in an office full of women (5 of us sit in an open room), and the coworker sighs all the time and talks and giggles to herself all the time.  Did I say annoying coworkers? Okay its really just one that drives me nuts! lol 

And then the weight gain.....I cant believe I have reverted back to my old habits...grazing is a mother ______!!!  And I am having such a hard time reigning it back in. 

But even in the midst of all this, I still have hope.....I don't know what to do but I do know that I have the victory and all I have to do is claim it and do what I know needs to be done.  I have all the tools and support I just have to start back using them.

The items above are just the tip of the ice berg of my life right now....if I wrote too much more I would be at my desk crying...and I should be working on the piles that are on my desk.

So anyway....if you made it all the way down here reading this rambling....you are good and I appreciate you.  Even if you skipped parts and read the last line ( I sometimes do that) I appreciate you and I don't know what I would do with you ladies. 

Maybe I will try the happy pills and do so for more than 6 weeks consisitently and see how that works for me.  I am now tired of typing and guess I will get to work now.  Thanks for listening and any thoughts are appreciated. 

First off-
there was a LOT in that message- girl- you got a LOT going on!!!  The family contractor part alone is stress inducing- let alone a 17 year old on your own...
I'm wondering why the Docs are pushing the anti-depressants and not an anti-anxiety medication...  Effexor and Prozac- from what I remember are anti-depressants- what about Buspar if you need a daily one.  Or- better yet- get a PRN med- then you just pop one when you need one.
I had REALLY bad post partum depression after the triplets were born- I had meds prescribed to me then and I didn't take them as much as I should have... it's taken me 5 years to be able to take a half a Zanax when I'm stressed and not feel wierd about it- or like I'm a strung-out junkie for having to use them.  I've still got the same prescription- so I know I'm not taking very much at all- but for those times when you need them- they have been very effective for me.  I didn't realize how stressed I was at the time.
Just my thoughts...
I'm glad you vented...:)
Holly

Thanks for replying and reading thru that!! lol  Effexor can be used to treat GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) as well as depression according the the research I did when it first came up.  Not sure about prozac...I just was not ready for that one at all.....Right now I am still trying to just deal with things but I am not doing to well on my own....I don't know what I am going to do but I don't really want to be on meds....but I don't want to keep feeling so out of control either...  I will keep you guys posted on what I decide and how it works for me if I do decide to take something.  My internal medicine doctor also suggest wellburtin (sp??) and one other med that I was not familiar with.....

First off...{{{Stephanie}}} I think you need some extra hugs with everything you have going on right now.
Next, I have taken anti-depressants several times in my adult life to deal with anxiety...I have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder...now that is a motherf*cker! I really sucks to be afraid to even go to the grocery!! Anyway, it did help, though a major amount of dealing with that or any other emotional disorder is mental training and practice. It takes time and patience to work through the stuff going on in our heads, whether it be through counseling or on our own. The medications won't ever completely fix what's going on, after all life around us doesn't give a crap about what meds we are taking! lol. However, the medications to take the edge off and help our brains to keep the feel-good chemicals in our bodies (seratonin) swirling around in our brains just a bit longer than normal. Thus, we feel a little better.
It usually takes at least 6 weeks of continual and regular use to even begin to notice a difference. But, it won't be like turning on a lightswitch...it is gradual. It won't make you feel super happy or ecstatic about life...it will just help you to feel "normal". Feeling a little more normal will give you the strength and focus to tackle your real, everyday issues without the overwhelming anxiety or fear that cause us to eat when we don't need to. Again, in the end, it's still all up to us how things turn out. We still need to make the best choices that we are able to at any given time...and making more good choice than bad adds up to success!
Finally, I am sorry that you are having growing pains with your daughter...I know how that feels. It's so hard sometimes to guide them and actually have them listen to us. She will look back and appreciate the efforts that you took to show her the least painful way to grow up...but they rarely listen at this point. So, please take some comfort in knowing that she does hear everything that you say...she just doesn't like it. You can only do the best that you can do...the rest is up to her. And, if she's anything like her mama...she'll come through just fine .
Sorry my response rivaled the length of your post...I could go on, but I'll spare you the novel.

~Suz
eta: spelling

Well said Suz!!!

It's been awhile since I was in the Psyc field... I got my masters and then slowly migrated out of counseling and into the school system- so it's been awhile for me...

The meds do take a LONG time to get a consistent level in your system and even then some people say that their spouses or family members notice the change before the they did.
I didn't realize anti-depessants were given for anxiety.  My brain just went to the anxiety problem and thought treat it first...perhaps a daily antidepressant like Suz said- to maintain your serotonin levels and then maybe a PRN anti-anxiety med for really crappy days?

See what your Dr says- hang in there- I know everyone is different and everyone responds to different things different ways- but there are a boatload of meds out there and I'm sure there's one or a combination that will work for you should you chose to go that route.
Brit  :)

Thanks again Brit!! You guys are wonderful!  I did not know you were in the psyc field...so we are going to have our own nurse in Suz and we have a therapist too?? This board just gets better and better! lol

Oh- no way!!!  Like I said it's been a long time and after having my own children after years of "preaching" to the parents of other children- I try to keep my mouth shut!!!  It's WAY harder on the actual living side of the fence!!!  Then again- isn't everything?
My 2 stepdaughters acted out in their earlier ages and their later teen years haven't been nearly as dreadful as the early teens.  It was awful at the time- but looking back- the issues, challenges and consequences do seem to escalate with age and I'm glad their rebellion years were earlier.  They've settled very nicely into their 17th and 20th years, although we certainly aren't without our issues- it certainly isn't the battle/war zone it once was. :)
Brit

So there is hope for me????

Thanks Suz!! As usual you have given a great response.   I appreciate all the information and you sharing your personal experience with me.  My PCP said I had generalized anxiety disorder and I am like..what the heck is that?  I don't feel like I have a problem but it seems to keep coming up and my PCP and my new internal medicine doctor don't know each other but they both came to the same conclusion and it shook me up a bit...I am thinking am I that messed up and don't realize it?  Whoa is me..what's a girl to do.  Maybe I did not give the meds a chance the first time around because I don't want to depend on anything or anyone...and I know that is aproblem too..thinking I can do everything by myself...which is wrong especially when there are ppl and meds that can help.  I have to get over the superwoman syndrome and maybe follow the experts advice.  Thanks again and I do appreciate the response....and it was not nearly as long as the one I wrote!  lol

Well, there were two points that I also wanted to make in my last post but that I neglected to say:
First, if you were worried that you would become dependent on the anti-depressant medications, you need not worry about that. It is not something that you can become addicted to or dependent on as you might with other types of medications. Anti-depressants are non-narcotic and don't produce a "high"...they are only there to keep seratonin levels high enough for your brain to absorb what it needs to keep your emotional state steady.
Secondly, we all need help sometimes. Having generalized anxiety just means that you are a bit more sensitive than the average person would be to everyday problems and events around you. It doesn't mean that you are crazy, out of control, or unable to take care of yourself or others. It is simply a description of your sensitivity and ability to "absorb" problems. No one needs to be "super" anything. We, as women, always seem to do too much...but coupled with anxiety, we drive ourselves crazy with worry about not having done enough.
Be kind to yourself!! Take help (in any form necessary) if you need it, and don't feel guilty or ashamed...instead be proud to know your limits and be proud of your ability to ask for help when you need it.