Let the head games begin!

Okay, I have been noticing a trend...one that I have a feeling that many if not all of us are guilty of indulging in. Monday Morning Weigh-Ins seems to be floundering lately and I have the sneaking suspicion that many of us are avoiding it because we don't like what that scale says. I will be the first to say that I am guilty of such thinking. I was almost relieved that no one had posted the thread this morning. But, then it occurred to me that it's that kind of thinking (hiding? avoiding the truth?) that got me to the unhealthy point that I was. So, I will be brave and say that I have gained 3 pounds over the last two weeks. And, even though I thought that I wanted to gain back up to 145-150...doing it and seeing *145* on the scale scared the crap out of me this morning!!! I don't like it at all!!! My mind is telling me that I am on a slippery slope to failure. Is it true? I have no earthly idea. But, now I have to do some soul searching to figure out just what my ideal weight is...and whether that couple of pounds really matters to me in the long run. In any case, whether it be a gain or a loss...we need to be honest and accountable! All of the time! We can not hide or avoid...if we do, we will fail. Let me know what your thoughts are. ~Suz

NO WAY- just came to post my monday weigh in!!!! We are NOT sliding!!!! secondly- you are extremely thin- there's no way you actually look your weight- your 3 pounds are different than someone else's 3 pounds may be... slippery slope to failure- how bout bouncing within your window instead? I don't know- I know I gained in the past and I was uncomfortable so I guess everyone needs to do their own searching- so I guess you're right. I just figured everyone was off enjoying their new lives... I did post- I am one that will always have to- I will always have to watch and moniter and adjust- so .... I'll be here!!! Holly

It is true that others could be off enjoying their new lives....I just worry that they might not be. If someone was too embarrassed or inhibited to post because of what they may have viewed as a failure..I'd just like them all to know that they aren't alone. As for the 3 pounds...I don't feel any different in terms of feeling chubby or my clothes fitting any differently. But, I do worry about the 3 pounds turning into 13 then 23 then 33 before I am ready to admit that I'm gaining and that I may have a problem. In any case, I am a little scared of a "window"...it's certainly a mental thing with me because I know that every one bounces a little as a normal flux during the month. I just really like seeing the *exact* same number (or smaller ) on that scale even though I know that is a fluke when it happens. Now...off to post to your thread.... Oh, and thanks for saying I look thin...my brain still doesn't think so and always questions whether those jeans (all of them) in my drawer are mislabeled. See what I mean? Head games.

You're right if others are sliding - like I did a few months back- and need support I certainly would want them to feel welcome and supported in coming here and I didn't mean for my message to sound negative or non-welcoming. I know every now and then I need a kick in the pants or a rah rah in my corner and I know this site has been many things for me. This is such a tough journey... Holly

Girl..your message didn't sound at all negative! LOL. I just tend to think that is so easy for us to become complacent with our eating and exercise and what ever...it's so easy to "fall off of the wagon" and not want to share that fact with others. I know that with the slightest gain I feel like a huge loser...and not in a good way! I think that we all need a rah-rah or kick in the pants at one time or another.

I agree w/ Holly Suz you look great and are thin. So, 3 lbs sounds like it wouldn't hurt you at all. Do you have a window that you want to stay in, like 140-145? I would say just try to stay in that window. There could be many things why you gained 3 lbs. It could just be water, that time of the month, swelling from the heat? But I am like you, I'm afraid 3 is going to turn into 30 like it did before surgery. BUT we have the knowledge and tool to stick to this for life and we will win!!!!

Thanks Janie. I thought that I would be okay gaining back up to about 145-150 and that I would be happy sticking around there. WRONG! Every time I get close to that weight I freak out...so a window just seems mentally impossible to be happy with...at least for right now until I figure out a way to be alright with it. Crazy, I know. I mean, three pounds isn't the end of the world, this I know. And I don't really feel anything like I did 100+ pounds ago, so it's not like I feel like a cow or anything. I think that it's just 3 pounds of too much dark chocolate and wine ( I only have 1 glass a night, if that, so don't anyone worry ). I guess that my point of this thread was to let others, that might be staying away and not reporting in for fear that they would be seen as a failure, know that they aren't alone...we are all subject to making bad decisions and poor choices that lead us to gain or lose what we don't need or want to. However, by checking in and letting others know of our situations and feelings, we can gain support and advice that may head off a disaster before it begins. Okay, enough hogging the thread for me .

Great post Suz!! One of the side effects that I have experienced since surgery is forgetfulness!! I was going to do the mmwi before leaving home but I got up late and then when I got to work I was going to do it but guess what....they have me working at work lately!! lol And then my reminders popped up and I saw I had a 10 am dr's appt and ran out and then by the time I got back to work, posting was gone out the window. I too will always post as you guys can see...even when I have had very big gains I always come back and post and it does help to keep me in line and you ladies are very encouraging and the support does me good. So I am not going anywhere at all either! See ya Monday if not sooner!!

I forget things all the time now! Though, I often wonder if it's just old age creeping up on me and I just blame it on the surgery. lol. As for posting...I must commend you for never letting pride get in the way of posting weight gains. It can be so tough to type those numbers and hit *submit this post* when we don't like what it says...but without accountability we will certainly end up where we were pre-op. Thanks for always being a positive and encouraging fixture around here!

See..here is a prime example of forgetfulness....I was going to mention the age factor in my post and conveniently forgot it!! lol And I too thank you for being such a great encourager!! I think we need to post the good and the bad to let ppl know that the surgery is not a fix to all our problems and that regain can occur. So many ppl get the surgery and are disillusioned...but I want to let others know as well that if you don't make good eating decisions and go back to your old way of eating.....gain will happen. Even when you work out! lol But I will also be able to post that just because you fall off the wagon, you can get back on and start back using your tool the way it was intended and continue to live a healthy lifestyle. It is not easy but doing it is so worth it.....