1 Year Today!!! **MORE TO COME***
Hi Everyone,
I have been so busy this week, I haven't even had a chance to put together my one year reflections like so many of you have.. I have been struggling to even have time to get to the boards.
I just wanted to pop in and say thanks for all of your support this past year. I will work on my one year reflection and post what has been going on that is exciting in my life right now...there is tons to be thankful for that is for sure.
As of this past Tuesday, the scales have hit 118.2...I am starting to be concerned. I go in next Thursday for my 1 year follow up. So we will see what the doctor says. I was very happy bouncing between 120 and 122, now I am worried.
BTW, I had a huge job interview today and I am going through a mock IVF cycle..so like I said, busy month / week and start for 2008. Plus I have had major Drama with an ex male member of the support group I lead here in Dallas area...about him posting about me on the Men's board as well as on the Texas Message board...UGH! (He is upset that all of the women in our group are happily married and that some of us look like we never should have had surgery, yadda yadda yadda, a real pshyco...Lots of people are standing up for me though on both forums..I just happen to be the target because I called him out on his posts and deleted his access to our group) Thanks for listening, not wanting to bring the drama up here, but thought I would share.
I hope everyone has a nice weekend.
Hugs,
Lindy
Lindy - I didn't even recognize your post with your username, that's different right?
Congrats on your one yr surgiversary. You've done wonderfuly. Did you ever think you would have to eat more because you're losing too much weight??? WOOHOO! But no more missy!!! What does your doctor say?
What in the world are men doing checking out women's profiles to see if they are happily married?? Someone needs to get a life! lol! Why are they the judge of who should or should not have surgery? Trust me, the surgeons and the insurance companies would not authorize surgery unless it was necessary. Ya know? Were you one of the ones that should not have had surgery?
I hope work slows down for you, when are you going to find time to shop for new clothes?? : )
Janie,
Yes, I changed my name so that he wouldn't be able to look me up, since I removed him from my friends list, blocked him. This way if he goes in as guest, he won't know my knew screen name to look me up, etc. Ok, so I called him a name in my earlier post, but everything below is simply just / cut and paste from what I put on the boards and he states I have defamed him, but he has merely defamed himself with his own posts.
This is kind of long, but I will share some of the posts he made about me:
Here is the very first post that he made back in early November in the MENS forum, the post is too old for me to find the original post he made that started it all:
Post Date: 11/5/07 9:47 pm
hhhh I see your point, John .. 
Hmmmm and that revelation creates a problem for me .. the leader of our local WLS group is a smokin' 40 y.o. blonde (IMHO) now at goal weight, but she's been married to a hunky dude for many years .. (another plus - no kids!) .. I did find out she has a twin sister though, who has supposedly not agreed to have the surgery herself (no idea what she weighs now) .. query: how do I go about finding out if she's single? &:-x)
&
Paul
******************
Fast forward to January when huge commotion got stirred up on the Texas Message board. I don't have all of the details but here are a few more:
MY REPLY TO A LADY WHO PUT A POST OUT ABOUT A TROLL, WHEN EVERYONE COULD TELL THE OBVIOUS REFERENCE WAS THIS GUY (MIND YOU THAT THERE WAS AN EARLIER POST WHERE EVERYONE PRETTY MUCH BLASTED HIM AND PUT HIM ON BLOCK, BUT ME, I WAS STILL OFFERING SUPPORT)
Post Date: 1/8/08 10:03 pm
Last Edit: 1/8/08 10:17 pm
Larissa,
I agree that we shouldn't feed to trolls and I am definitely not a lynch mobster, nor did I block, threaten or use objective language in any comment to Paul or anyone else in my postings. He is still on my friends list and I will still communicate with him if he needs real weight loss support, because I am a leader and my goal is to give back to others in this community.
That doesn't mean that I don't feel serious concern for my well being and the women of this board. Unfortunately, I have been the first hand discussion of Paul's desire to find single women on the OH board, or at least women who are married but willing to give him a chance by cheating on my spouse. Until yesterday and today, I haven't even given in to posting anything to his constant comments and desire to find women on the OH board.
I have met Paul in person and he seems like a nice person, but he never says much, so no-one really feels they know him from our group. However, in my personal opinion, Paul has simply done more than cross the line with his constant inquiring of personal details and with regards to what I would call "harassment" on the internet of women.
I am deeply upset about what has transpired the last few days on the boards for every person involved, including Paul. I sent him a personal message and asked him to make piece. I tried to reach out to him to give him weight loss support, but that's not what he is trolling for. This impacts me greatly as he has been a member of our local support group meeting and obviously, these types of issues bring negative tones to the group as a whole.
It's hard to be objective and not get emotional when you feel like someone is talking about you like we were in High school, but that is what has happened to me over on the Men's board and the only person responsible for this is Paul.
Now my only concern is that everyone pretty much put this issue to rest yesterday and now your posting will get it all fired back up again. But I just wanted my voice and my piece to be heard.
Sincerely,
Lindy
********************************************
Here are some of his posts on the Men's forum. "BTW, I do not lurk the Men's forum, someone else pointed these out to me, and so I went and kept logs in case I need for future reference". I barely even have time to post and lurk on the TMB. But this issue as I have stated has great sensitivity to me personally.
*********************************************
Post Date 11/13/07 8:04 am
Topic: RE: Men & Support Groups (Revisited) - Single Bummer
I didn't know my profile was "locked" how do I unlock it?
More later, but one thing for now is that my post in here about one gal got back to her and it embarrassed me to find that out .. &:o Do gals regularly peruse our forum? I wish we could set up a private one (open only to males) so that what we can talk freely and what we talk about stays within the group members. It's sorta like the Men's breakout group at OH .. we let a gal in during the discussion in S.A., but then it was our lovable relationships counselor .. (we joked "she doesn't count" lol).. After all this is the "lockerroom" ..
*********************************************************
Post Date 11/13/07 1:58 am
Topic: Men & Support Groups (Revisited) - Single Bummer
Guys .. I'm REALLY bumming ...
I attended TWO different WLS support group meetings in my area Saturday .. One was a very small group meeting and the other a luncheon at a nearby trendy restaurant in support of two up-coming WLS patients ..
Yet AGAIN, I was the only male WLS patient present (this makes four different meetings!) . There were two guys at the luncheon, and I thought "FINALLY" .. but turns out they were support people (spouses) of two of the WLS patients there .. (UGH)
Equaly dsiturbing to me has been the fact that all the gals at these meetings seem to be "happily married", whether pre-op or post-op (and love talking about it), even the few that seem to flirt with me. It's esp. perturbing whenever they seem eager to introduce me to their hubbys, the ones that certainly dont' look like THEY ever needed WLS (isn't that kinda like when an ex g/f invites you to her wedding?). It's like "hey, let me show you what a/the winner looks like!"
Sorry if I seem like I'm geting a bit paranoid, but I'm beginning to feel like the only single (nm) guy out there anymore, at least over 40 .. &
... I'm seriously considering forgetting about attending any more support group meetings in the future, as I have nothing in common with the attendees, other than the fact we have each had some type of WLS. I end up leaving even more depressed than when I went in .. I think I was about ready to drive to the nearest psych hospital by Saturday evening .. &:-/)
Question (out of curiosity): were you single at the time of your surgery, and are you still so today? If you met someone later, how long after your surgery?
Thanks for your help (and hopefully encouragement)
*******************************************************
Post Date 1/20/08 2:22 pm
Topic: RE: What is a message board Troll?
Hmmm I KNEW something was going on here .. and now I'm considering legal action now that I have discovered this defamation (you had better contact an attorney and FAST, Lindy, is all I can say .. acting so sweet and big-hearted and all at our group meetings .. I am just totally stunned that you would pull some backstabbing crap like this just b/c i disagreed with the structured format you unilaterally insisted upon changing out meeting formats to) And if there ARE any more Rockwall meetings, I WILL be there .. no matter what it takes ..
********************************************************
Post Date: 1/20/08 3:18 pm
Last Edit: 1/20/08 3:25 pm
I just ran across a very interesting post and thread (or two) .. I did not see them originally b/c apparently the original posters had me on block after the recent blow-up on the Texas forum .. I know guys on here have complained about violating the "rules", but I have to speak my mind on this, since it also involves some of our fellow M forum members who have seen fit to also violate some unspoken rules on here ..
By way of preface, apparently the lovable leader of our local support group saw fit to spy on this forum and cut & paste some of my past posts (no idea what she was doing watching here all that time) to make me look like some kind of stalker, troll, etc. on OH, the selected posts consisting mostly of my laments about the lack of fellow male attendance at support group meetings .. She apparently did this backstabbing in "retaliation" b/c of my post here a long time back in which I mentioned I found her attractive, but married ( a comment which used to be something people would consider flattering, not "stalking", in the days of old) .. I also got on her bad side b/c I did not agree with her unilateral decision to make the first part of our group meetings follow a structured format in the future (which I mentioned to her in a PM) ... I also had defended myself to a bud of hers who flamed me not once but twice in posts ..
Instead of gender being thicker than (whatever), I find that at least two of my fellow Men's Forum posters posted "supportive" replies of the gal in the thread, after acting so friendly to me on here .. One is Paul In Dallas and the other is GotAman
I'm just flabbergasted gentlemen. I know you probalby won't see this post tnough, b/c you're both on block from now on.
***************************************************
HERE IS HIS THREAT OF A LAWSUIT:
Date Sent: January 20, 2008 - 3:00pm
From: AttyDallas Click here to add this user to your friends list
Subject: You Had Better Get a GOOD Attorney
I just ran across your highly-defamatory post .. you backstabber .. Acting so nice to everyone at the meetings, including myself, and then carefully putting something together like that post to make me look in the worst light as possible to everyone, including people who know me in real life in the locality due to my support group affiliations .. I am NOT a troll, nor on here to "find women" (I don't need OH to do that), or to stalk anyone (if I wanted to stalk anyone, believe me I could do it, but don't) .. Your vicious post attempts to portray me as all of those .. FYI - I came to OH in part for support myself and to help others who need it ..
What have I ever done to you, Lindy? I only mentioned on the Men's Forum (where you had no business snooping, anyway .. I thought you were married???) that I thought you were attractive, and don't even mention you by name .. If a gal posted that about a guy to other gals, the guy would be flattered to find out .. Instead, you go psycho and paranoid over it .. That and my defending myself to your "bud" who saw fit to flame me without cause in two posts and my speaking out on how some of us in the TT group really do NOT want a structured format ..
The title of my PM says it all .. and you had better act fast girl ..
***************
Here is the entire post and several have defended me, including men on the Men's forum:
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/TX/board_id,4845/cat_id,4445/topic_id,3493990/a,messageb
oard/action,replies/#27455971
Hmmmm and that revelation creates a problem for me .. the leader of our local WLS group is a smokin' 40 y.o. blonde (IMHO) now at goal weight, but she's been married to a hunky dude for many years .. (another plus - no kids!) .. I did find out she has a twin sister though, who has supposedly not agreed to have the surgery herself (no idea what she weighs now) .. query: how do I go about finding out if she's single? &:-x)
& Paul
******************
Fast forward to January when huge commotion got stirred up on the Texas Message board. I don't have all of the details but here are a few more:
MY REPLY TO A LADY WHO PUT A POST OUT ABOUT A TROLL, WHEN EVERYONE COULD TELL THE OBVIOUS REFERENCE WAS THIS GUY (MIND YOU THAT THERE WAS AN EARLIER POST WHERE EVERYONE PRETTY MUCH BLASTED HIM AND PUT HIM ON BLOCK, BUT ME, I WAS STILL OFFERING SUPPORT)
Post Date: 1/8/08 10:03 pm
Last Edit: 1/8/08 10:17 pm
Larissa,
I agree that we shouldn't feed to trolls and I am definitely not a lynch mobster, nor did I block, threaten or use objective language in any comment to Paul or anyone else in my postings. He is still on my friends list and I will still communicate with him if he needs real weight loss support, because I am a leader and my goal is to give back to others in this community.
That doesn't mean that I don't feel serious concern for my well being and the women of this board. Unfortunately, I have been the first hand discussion of Paul's desire to find single women on the OH board, or at least women who are married but willing to give him a chance by cheating on my spouse. Until yesterday and today, I haven't even given in to posting anything to his constant comments and desire to find women on the OH board.
I have met Paul in person and he seems like a nice person, but he never says much, so no-one really feels they know him from our group. However, in my personal opinion, Paul has simply done more than cross the line with his constant inquiring of personal details and with regards to what I would call "harassment" on the internet of women.
I am deeply upset about what has transpired the last few days on the boards for every person involved, including Paul. I sent him a personal message and asked him to make piece. I tried to reach out to him to give him weight loss support, but that's not what he is trolling for. This impacts me greatly as he has been a member of our local support group meeting and obviously, these types of issues bring negative tones to the group as a whole.
It's hard to be objective and not get emotional when you feel like someone is talking about you like we were in High school, but that is what has happened to me over on the Men's board and the only person responsible for this is Paul.
Now my only concern is that everyone pretty much put this issue to rest yesterday and now your posting will get it all fired back up again. But I just wanted my voice and my piece to be heard.
Sincerely,
Lindy
********************************************
Here are some of his posts on the Men's forum. "BTW, I do not lurk the Men's forum, someone else pointed these out to me, and so I went and kept logs in case I need for future reference". I barely even have time to post and lurk on the TMB. But this issue as I have stated has great sensitivity to me personally.
*********************************************
Post Date 11/13/07 8:04 am
Topic: RE: Men & Support Groups (Revisited) - Single Bummer
I didn't know my profile was "locked" how do I unlock it?
More later, but one thing for now is that my post in here about one gal got back to her and it embarrassed me to find that out .. &:o Do gals regularly peruse our forum? I wish we could set up a private one (open only to males) so that what we can talk freely and what we talk about stays within the group members. It's sorta like the Men's breakout group at OH .. we let a gal in during the discussion in S.A., but then it was our lovable relationships counselor .. (we joked "she doesn't count" lol).. After all this is the "lockerroom" ..
*********************************************************
Post Date 11/13/07 1:58 am
Topic: Men & Support Groups (Revisited) - Single Bummer
Guys .. I'm REALLY bumming ...
I attended TWO different WLS support group meetings in my area Saturday .. One was a very small group meeting and the other a luncheon at a nearby trendy restaurant in support of two up-coming WLS patients ..
Yet AGAIN, I was the only male WLS patient present (this makes four different meetings!) . There were two guys at the luncheon, and I thought "FINALLY" .. but turns out they were support people (spouses) of two of the WLS patients there .. (UGH)
Equaly dsiturbing to me has been the fact that all the gals at these meetings seem to be "happily married", whether pre-op or post-op (and love talking about it), even the few that seem to flirt with me. It's esp. perturbing whenever they seem eager to introduce me to their hubbys, the ones that certainly dont' look like THEY ever needed WLS (isn't that kinda like when an ex g/f invites you to her wedding?). It's like "hey, let me show you what a/the winner looks like!"
Sorry if I seem like I'm geting a bit paranoid, but I'm beginning to feel like the only single (nm) guy out there anymore, at least over 40 .. &... I'm seriously considering forgetting about attending any more support group meetings in the future, as I have nothing in common with the attendees, other than the fact we have each had some type of WLS. I end up leaving even more depressed than when I went in .. I think I was about ready to drive to the nearest psych hospital by Saturday evening .. &:-/)
Question (out of curiosity): were you single at the time of your surgery, and are you still so today? If you met someone later, how long after your surgery?
Thanks for your help (and hopefully encouragement)
*******************************************************
Post Date 1/20/08 2:22 pm
Topic: RE: What is a message board Troll?
Hmmm I KNEW something was going on here .. and now I'm considering legal action now that I have discovered this defamation (you had better contact an attorney and FAST, Lindy, is all I can say .. acting so sweet and big-hearted and all at our group meetings .. I am just totally stunned that you would pull some backstabbing crap like this just b/c i disagreed with the structured format you unilaterally insisted upon changing out meeting formats to) And if there ARE any more Rockwall meetings, I WILL be there .. no matter what it takes ..
********************************************************
Post Date: 1/20/08 3:18 pm
Last Edit: 1/20/08 3:25 pm
I just ran across a very interesting post and thread (or two) .. I did not see them originally b/c apparently the original posters had me on block after the recent blow-up on the Texas forum .. I know guys on here have complained about violating the "rules", but I have to speak my mind on this, since it also involves some of our fellow M forum members who have seen fit to also violate some unspoken rules on here ..
By way of preface, apparently the lovable leader of our local support group saw fit to spy on this forum and cut & paste some of my past posts (no idea what she was doing watching here all that time) to make me look like some kind of stalker, troll, etc. on OH, the selected posts consisting mostly of my laments about the lack of fellow male attendance at support group meetings .. She apparently did this backstabbing in "retaliation" b/c of my post here a long time back in which I mentioned I found her attractive, but married ( a comment which used to be something people would consider flattering, not "stalking", in the days of old) .. I also got on her bad side b/c I did not agree with her unilateral decision to make the first part of our group meetings follow a structured format in the future (which I mentioned to her in a PM) ... I also had defended myself to a bud of hers who flamed me not once but twice in posts ..
Instead of gender being thicker than (whatever), I find that at least two of my fellow Men's Forum posters posted "supportive" replies of the gal in the thread, after acting so friendly to me on here .. One is Paul In Dallas and the other is GotAman
I'm just flabbergasted gentlemen. I know you probalby won't see this post tnough, b/c you're both on block from now on.
***************************************************
HERE IS HIS THREAT OF A LAWSUIT:
Date Sent: January 20, 2008 - 3:00pm
From: AttyDallas Click here to add this user to your friends list
Subject: You Had Better Get a GOOD Attorney
I just ran across your highly-defamatory post .. you backstabber .. Acting so nice to everyone at the meetings, including myself, and then carefully putting something together like that post to make me look in the worst light as possible to everyone, including people who know me in real life in the locality due to my support group affiliations .. I am NOT a troll, nor on here to "find women" (I don't need OH to do that), or to stalk anyone (if I wanted to stalk anyone, believe me I could do it, but don't) .. Your vicious post attempts to portray me as all of those .. FYI - I came to OH in part for support myself and to help others who need it ..
What have I ever done to you, Lindy? I only mentioned on the Men's Forum (where you had no business snooping, anyway .. I thought you were married???) that I thought you were attractive, and don't even mention you by name .. If a gal posted that about a guy to other gals, the guy would be flattered to find out .. Instead, you go psycho and paranoid over it .. That and my defending myself to your "bud" who saw fit to flame me without cause in two posts and my speaking out on how some of us in the TT group really do NOT want a structured format ..
The title of my PM says it all .. and you had better act fast girl ..
***************
Here is the entire post and several have defended me, including men on the Men's forum:
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/TX/board_id,4845/cat_id,4445/topic_id,3493990/a,messageb
oard/action,replies/#27455971 wow Lindy, what drama. And you've met this guy before? You would think there wouldn't be any drama on a weight loss forum, ya know? You come here for support and then this. Although it's flattering for someone to say you're a hottie (you are!) he took it too far. UGH! Drama Drama!!!
Oh, how did the interview go? When do you find out if you get the job? What's a mock cycle? If all goes well are you going to start trying next month? I'll be praying for ya!
Hey there, sorry it has taken me so long to get back out here to post.
Yes, I have met him before, he is a shy guy who holds his head down to the ground, so it is quite amazing how deceptive he is in real actions in person compared to hiding behind the computer where he comes out all bold like and offensive. Fortunately, he hasn't bothered me in over 2 weeks now.
I GOT THE JOB!!! I am officially the controller now. I can't wait to start. My first start date is Thursday, Feb 21st. My last day at Verizon is Feb 19th. I took the 20th to get some medical and personal stuff done.
A mock cycle is basically where they put me on estrogen and then test my lining, do a trial transfer with a catheter to my uterus with water (simulating an embryo transfer), blood work, etc. to determine how well my body absorbs the estrogen pills and patch (mainly because of the gastric bypass he wanted to determine if he would have to increase the dosage, etc). I passed with flying colors. Now we just have to decide on a donor and get the paperwork completed. I think with the new job and all, we will wait about a month or two. Just too much to risk. I want no stress and I would like to do accupuncture along with it, because it is suppose to help with the blood flow to the uterine and prepare the uterus for implantation. I will keep you posted when we move forward.
Thanks for praying for me!!
Lindy
Way to go Lindy! Congrats on your year! Mine is coming up in a couple of days.
Sorry you have had so much drama. There was a similar situation a while back on the TX board with a guy from Dallas--some attorney. I wonder if it is the same person? I wasn't involved but it opened this whole discussion about stalker characters haunting the board and after hearing some accounts it caused me to decide to switch my profile to be viewed only by friends. When someone asks me about it, I just add them as a friend. Now I really am wondering if it is the same character. I thought people had the surgery for the same reasons I did--to get a life.
Since YOU have a life, you handled it well by the sound of things. Good job on dealing with the drama and it not dealing with you! Wow. I wonder if you would have handled it differently more than a year ago? I would have eaten....a lot. What a difference a year makes. I have gotten to where I work out when I am super stressed. Again, what a difference a year makes.
When will you know about the job interview?
Hugs,
Katy B Katy,
Hi there, sorry for the delayed response, I have been super busy the past two weeks. The Drama on the TX board was all related to the same guy. He was basically telling me he was going to sue me, but he had no basis, he was just upset because everyone blackballed him, which was only due to his own accord, not mine. But he stated that one of my posts was defamation. Which it wasn't, I was stating actual events that occurred and showing his posts that he was making comments about me and other ladies in my support group. He was mad because we are happily married and look like we never needed surgery just because we are at goal.
I probably wouldn't have ever even talked to the guy a year ago, but who knows. I was trying to be helpful by letting him attend our meetings, which were really all female, but he stated he needed support. Yeah right.
Anway, I got the job...I accepted the offer last Monday and my last day is next Tuesday. I start the new job on Thursday, Feb 21st. I am very excited.
Congrats on the one year and the new avatar. I am going to have to add you as a friend, so I can see your other pics. I only have mine set to friends as well for this very reason now. Also, somewhere there is a website you can get your pictures shrunk for avatar's automatically. If I find I will post.
Hugs,
Lindy
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