When is enough enough?

I know this was kinda touched on in this week's weigh in- but I thought it might warrant it's own post... This weekend I got down to 129 and was thrilled- but I think it was from dehydration and that's awful. I am really drinking now and have gained 3 pounds- but it was wonderful to say I was in the 120's for a few days. How do you know when to stop losing? I think some people are still losing without trying- I have none of that. I fight for every pound and have for awhile. My husband says not to lose more than 5 more pounds. My MIL says I'm too skinny (although she's taller than me and weighs less). My mother says that I look fine but she's just worried about what it will take for me to be satisfied. It's so hard because- who do you listen to? I look at myself and I do NOT look too skinny plus I see other women all around me that are way thinner than I am. Are these comments just because they're used to seeing me look so much bigger? I do not see it in my face yet- the way I have on other people. I am dying to post a new pic to compare- I have got to figure out this digital world or find one of my teenagers when I actually have make-up on and some decent clothes. Does it help you to see it in pics rather than the mirror? OK- enough- sorry to ramble- Holly

I have an agreement with my hubby and with my doc. I know I have body dysmorphia (sp) and have not got a real grasp on what my body size is, so when my hubby or doc says I am at the lowest weight I need to be at, then I will work on maintaining. I am just over 5' 9" and I do know if I were to get below 150's, I would probably not be healthy. My doctor is talking about 175 but I really would like to be lower. That is why I have the "tell me when to go no lower" agreement with the two that I trust on this issue. A pic would be a great idea for you to see what you really look like. I know it helps me to get a reality of what size I am if I see a picture. Katy B

I am having trouble deciding the same thing. When is enough enough? That's hard because when you've been big your whole life, your loved ones notice the extent of your thinness far sooner than you do. I have had friends telling me for the last 10-15 pounds to stop losing weight and that if I lose any more I will look sickly. I am now getting the "you are too skinny" comments as well. I certainly don't feel too skinny especially when I'm hearing from people like my MIL who is still 20 lbs less than me and cries over my weight because I'm wayyy too thin and she's worried. So who's the judge of what's too skinny? My DH tells me I need to work out more because when he touches me or rubs on me all he feels is bone. I know that I'm thin, but at 139 lbs how can I be too skinny? In my mind it doesn't fit. I see thin but not "too skinny"...It's hard to explain, but I think if anyone understands our ramblings it will be our OH buddies. I'm still losing, not really fighting to lose because my goal is only 1 lb away, and I've been fine with my weight for atleast the last 10 lbs, so will I look sickly soon? Yeah I might if I get any thinner than 135-130 because my frame is big and I'm 5' 5"...BUT how much control do I have over when the weight will stop coming off? Commonly we will gain 10-20 lbs of our weight back, so even if I do look "sickly" for a time I will put some of that weight back on. I don't know, my post is getting long now and I am really really ramling...sharing random thoughts... but I feel like I am being judged by everyone in my life now. Either I'm too fat or too skinny...which is it? I'm fine...Just confused by everyone's focus and attention being on ME. My thoughts during family gatherings this Christmas...Let's stop talking about MY weight and discuss something important like politics or religion. That's my two cents.

Wow that could have been my post that you wrote!!!! I've heard all of those comments that I need to stop losing. I really have though, I think in the past month I've lost 2 lbs. I think people think I'm just going to melt away (in laws) and that I'm obsessed about my weight. I was even told that, that I'm obsessed with my weight. DUH, of course I am, I just had major surgery, I've been overweight my whole life and now I was given this tool to help me be healthy. Hell yeah I'm obsessed. And to me it's not a bad thing. It's what's keeping me strong! I also don't see what other people see when I look in the mirror. But you know what's funny, I see it in pics though. In the mirror I don't, but I do in pictures. So take a lot of pics of yourself!!!! Another thing that I totally don't get is that I've seen people who I know look thinner than me like in the dressing room or whatever, asking for a larger size than I am. I feel like I must be wearing my pants too tight, so I try the larger ones and they are too big. I really don't understand that. Could height have something to do with that?

Hey Janie...you are so good at keeping your pictures current!! I am a loser when it comes to updating my pictures! Your hair looks great in that picture!! And yes, height does play a part in what sizes we can wear! And I am with you on being obessed...I think we have to be obessed with our new healthier lifestyles in order to maintain our weight loss. Unfortunately we can't be lax like othe people around us. But it is a sacrifice I was willing to make. I had a hard time yesterday at work....with the holidays being here...there is food everywhere and am so craving chocolate covered pretzels but I resisted them..at least so far I have. And then we had a meeting where everyone had their own freshly popped bag of popcorn and they had sugar cookies (My favorite) and candy and sodas. I was sitting there and slugged down my 36 oz of water but I was really miserable thinking how unfair it is that they can maintain a healthy weight and still eat junk and I had to have surgery to lose weight and still I am not good at controlling my urges to eat unhealthy. I so wanted to eat some of that popcorn, cookies and pretzels...but I did not and today is a new day. I guess we are all ramblers when we start talking..lol sorry

Hi Holly: I say you listen to you first and your surgeon second. I also think our bodies will stop when they are ready to stop losing weight. People are used to seeing us much heavier so of course we look too thin to them now. Also, I notice that people who are taller than I am but weigh less than I do always say I am losing too much weight and to stop. I politely ask them how tall they are and then point out that the are a few inches taller than I am and weigh 20 pounds less than I do currently and I say...So you think I am too thin....what do you think about your self? That usually shuts them up! lol I am with your mother too...I wonder what it will take for me to be satisfied. I have not reached my goal yet but when I do, I wonder if I will be content there? I still look in the mirror and see the same ole me from the waist down and I am so not happy with th way the weight has come off. But if I look from the waist up, I am totally statisfied (other than the sagging boobs) And even in the pictures I don't really see it all the time. I was telling my friend the other day that I think I have body dismorphia (or something like that) and it takes time for our minds to catch up with what we really look like. Keep doing what you are doing and don't let others discourage you from going where you want to go. I also would encourage you to view the bmi charts and get your heathly weight range and make sure you don't fall below a weight that is unhealthy for you. I think at my height I can go as low as 115 pounds and still be considered a "healthy wieght" but do I want to be that small?? NO!! But if I did, I would not be concerned with what other people thought and would do what I needed to do to get there. We did not have surgery to still be considered overweight or be close to being over weight when the loss stops. At least I did not. You are doing great and keep it up. Remember that your health is most important and do what is necessary to make sure you stay healthy...taking your supplements, exercising, getting in enough water, and eating a healthy balanced diet!

Holly, I know I was wondering the same thing. I am getting a ton of folks at work saying to stop but heck I am 5'2" and at 151 yup went back up again...thats just the way it works for me though. It'll go away again I know. I would like to get to 132. I think you should listen to your own body. Take pictures because when you look in the mirror you don't really see the whole picture. When my hubby took my Christmas Party pics I was simply amazed. That may help you. I know I am going to listen to my own heart. Anna