Facing the music...getting back on track

I have struggled this past month. It is so easy to get off track. I would venture to say that most of us have never stuck with a program this long before. There is a temptation to get lax and try a bit of this or that. For me it has been carbs. My bday was in October and I was brought some sort of death by chocolate kind of dessert by the Chili's staff and ate a hunk of what my family didn't eat. I should have just said no to the free bday dessert because I didn't dump! After that I seemed to eat more and to crave carbs. It was a struggle and I gained 6 pounds in a couple of weeks and I know it wasn'****er! It brought me to a crisis point. I have pouted and put myself back on the basics. I am reading the boards. I have made sure I am at support group. I have talked long with myself not to chastise but to talk about my choices. I am still within that year of golden opportunity. I can't waste it. I have upped my protein and my water. I am tracking what I eat. I am being mindful. I will never be able to eat whatever I want to. I just have to deal with it. I am like most of the population and I have to consider what I eat. I have set aside all carbs that are not veggies. I am eating protein first. I am exercising every day by going to Curves &/or walking. I am weighing every day. (It works for me). I imagine we are all a lot alike. If we don't eat properly and exercise, it affects our moods which affects our eating. I find that I become prone to depression. I have to utilize this tool I have been given. I have dropped the 6 pounds I have gained and am back to the 147 pounds that I have lost. That feels sooooo good. I am reviewing my good results posts of the past and my reasons for losing the weight and all that it has done to change my life. I am doing a little shopping. I am tackling cleaning projects and things like that at every free moment. I am writing and praying and looking at myself and my actions. I am not buying or participating in snacking. I am being honest with myself. And so far this is working. If I don't stay on track, I am going to haul myself into my doctor to face the music or go to a psychologist to deal with why I would sabotage myself. I feel that this is a critical point in my success or failure. I am teetering and I am acknowledging it. I am determined that I am going to stay in front of this and stay in charge of the choices that I make. Okay, I didn't mean this to be so long or to sound lecture-like. I know from reading that I am not the only one and since I had bday ahead of Halloween, I figure that a lot of us are in the same boat and that I just got to the sweets first. Since this has been a struggle for me, I know I can't be the only one. But on the up side, to see that scale move...and move down is way more lightening than it probably should be but it encourages me. It may not be so easy from here on out. I think this is a time of change from relying on the surgery to relying on me! And in a way, the lapse can be a very good thing. A small lapse that keeps me diligent is way better in learning a lesson than a huge lapse that I never recover from! We can do this! I am convinced it is part of the process for success! Now, on a bright note, I am flying to San Francisco today. I will fit in that plane seat. I will not get tired walking and I will shop while I am there whether I buy someting or not! I will linger in stores and sizes I previously didn't belong in! I will enjoy the benefit of how far I have come. I will diligently consider and conquer food choices. I am bringing protein drinks with me! I am going to ignore the junk at my seminar and drink my water. I am planning ahead. I have come too far to go back. WE have come to far to go back!!!! Let's commit together to get our heads and program on track. Hugs, Katy

Wonderful Post Katy!! Everything you wrote in hear could be something I could just as easily have written! You are definitely not alone in and you are so right in saying " I think this is a time of change from relying on the surgery to relying on me! " We can and will do this and you are making all the positive changes to make this happen for you! Keep up the good work!

Very well said Caters! I couldn't have said it better myself and I join you... I too realize that this journey now requires more from Lori and less relying on what medically has been done to change my body. It's time to take control of my own choices again. It was easy in the beginning but now that I'm near goal it's become harder and requires more than just expectancy. I'm with you....let's go!

I absolutely agree with your post...I blogged something similar just yesterday. I'm just so thankful that with the help of this tool, it is "easier" than ever to get back on track. We can all be successful if we follow our individual programs and keep ourselves accountable. For me, that mean keeping my profile and pics up-to-date and always making a post for Monday Morning Weigh-Ins. If I keep to my schedule of blogging at least once each week, posting monthly pics, and staying accountable on Mondays, then I know that I can't really get off track for more than 7 days without having to confess to you ladies and then give myself a kick in the ass to get back to business. Have fun in San Fran...it is sooo much fun to take a day trip over and spend the day. We love it and try to get over as often as we can stand to fight the traffic into the city...but I think it's worth it! And, if you like fog....you'll get plenty of it this time of year. Try to get over to the Boudin Bread factory....the best clam chowder ever!! ~Suz

I had a great time in San Fran. I hadn't been in 20 years and it has changed. I road on the outside of a cable car, walked without getting tired, fit in every seat and climbed hills and stairs. It was great! I was not tempted by the treats that my seminar had laid out. I did great with my eating and I think it is all because I acknowledged the struggle instead of hiding it. Maybe the greatest thing about the surgery (beside the weight loss ) is that I am away from the grip of food just enough to be able to be honest about how enslaving it can be. And once I admitted it, wow, what a lifting of the burden and a lessening (but not disappearing) of the struggle. And I found a new yum for me. At lunch we had these fabulously presented box lunches at my seminar. I hadn't been eating lunch meat before this. I tossed the bread and ate the smoked ham one day and the roast beef another. They were great. This was the first trip in a long time that I really enjoyed the clothes. I love clothes now! Thanks for the encouragement. Honesty is the best policy. I think I have lied to myself enough about food issues in the past and it never made me feel good. Being honest and real is the only way to live. Hugs, Katy

Katy, GREAT POST!!!!! You know there are several people in my support group who are later out than us January lovelies and they are already doing what I would call "CHEATING" or not "FOLLOWING THE RULES", some are just 2 months - 3 months out and I just don't get it. I think they need to read your post and have a self actualization talk with themselves to get back on track. I posted a Gripe Session on my page, because I am 1) Frustrated and upset about them sabotaging themselves 2) concerned on how to help them get back on track and do so in a polite and easy way, but then also realized that they just might not listen anyway 3) Wandering when I myself am going to be needing to re-read my post and apply it to my own personal choices...if I am not "Following the rules" and making healthier choices. I love that you hung yourself out here for all of us to see that "getting real" with our backsliding is what will help us win over the evil battle, because we will get the support from others when we get there. Thanks again and I am really proud of you for getting back on track! Hugs, Lindy

Thank you for sharing that. Thanks for putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. We all need to at one time or another recommit ourselves and realize this is not a quick fix, but takes a lot of hard work by us. It's easy to get off track, and we can't beat ourselves up when we do. We have to get right back up and run the race. Thanks again, I will remember your post when I get off track!

Katy, I couldn't have phrased it half so well... thank you for posting, and for the pat on the back slash kick in the rear that we all need so much. Michele