When people say things like this to you - do you let it bother you??

Hi my fellow January buddies - This could get a little long, but I just had to share because I'm amazed at what people say and think. Ok - Sat. nite I went to an engagement party for my niece ( bother inlaw and sister inlaw's daughter). They were only serving to drink - soda ( not even diet), beer and wine - no water bottles or water that I could see. So I asked them if there was anything I could drink - since I don't drink soda, beer or wine. Well....... my sister in law ( who needs to drop quite a few pounds b/4 next years wedding) says to me ---- see this is why my doctor told me not to have gastric bypass....it is too hard to live the lifestyle after surgery. WHAT ???? Well - I have never drank beer b/4 surgery, i just don't like it and wine b/4 surgery made me so sick that I never drank it then either, as for soda I never drank regular soda either sooooo why would I drink any of these thing now regardless of surgery. I also want to know - since when are beer, wine and reg soda good for anyone. I'm amazed that a doctor would tell someone that the lifestyle after surgery is too hard to live. What lifestyle - a healthy one ?? I was fuming..... I have to say it is easier living this lifestyle than b/4. I'm never hungry, I don't crave any food and if I feel like a taste I can have a taste w/ out the whole thing !!! What is so wrong with that? I have to say that at the end of the night, when I was still dancing WITH my high heel shoes on ( feet don't hurt anymore - I wonder why??), not sweating like a pig and full of energy, she had to sit down and take a rest !!! Sorry - this is so long - but it really bothered me that people think this way - that they can't live the "lifestyle" and that giving up a few "unhealthy" things ( not just beer , wine and reg soda) are not worth losing 119 pounds ( still counting) and looking and feeling better than one has in years. What do you all feel about this?? thanks for letting me rant - Marta ps - oh and by the way - I ran out and bought my own diet ice tea, so I could actually have something to drink.

Ya gotta love it!!! This is what I hate and my family does to me constantly!! My sister-in-law that is a size 4.... We were playing cards and she pulled out a bunch of snacks... and she looks at me and says "sorry you cant have any" or she will say to my brother "Your sister cant have any"... Im thinking, you know what "I DONT WANT ANY" I can , but I dont want to... sometimes I take a couple and eat them to show her that "I still have a choice" (Not much makes me i'll) She is also the one that said at the beginning that "all your choices are going to be gone"!! Then my other side of the family trys to push things on me and says "oh one bite isnt going to hurt you" I work at the hospital where I had my surgery, that is hard to... cause Im being watched like a hawk!!! I try to live my life as normal as I can, I try to make good choices. I hate people that think they know everything! Lesson learned... I never go anywhere without a bottle water in my purse. Have a good day!!! Stacey

Thanks Stacey for the tip - I will make sure from now on I have at leas****er or something that I can drink. I usually always have a cheese stick /w pretzels or a protein bar in my bag just in case I need food. Now I will make sure I have a drink as well. Marta

Marta - sounds like SIL is jealous!!! I have a SIL problem too. Drives me crazy, but I won't get into that in case she's lurking. lol! You are so much healthier now than before. Just know that!

I hear people say stuff like this quite often... usually from people that are interested in having the surgery themselves. They always ask me if I miss eating this or that... or if I have any choices at all. I think I have a lot of choices IMO. But I try to be disciplined enough to make the RIGHT choices (like you said are beer and wine good choices for anybody?) Come on. I am very open about my surgery. So I do have people ask a lot of questions. I have people ask me "how can you give up this or that" all the time. For me it was simple... was eating frosting worth the rest of my life? Was eating a brownie? Was the tons of pasta? No... it was not worth it to continue living that way. I think there are a lot of people out there that are jealous of those of us brave enough to go through with the surgery & making the lifelong changes it will require. I just tell people that giving up this/that doesn't bother me at all. And who said YOU had a problem with COMPLYING? You didn't! You were trying to FIND something good.... NOT drinking/eating the bad things. She had NO idea what she was talking about. She's just jealous of you and your success. Good for you for going out and getting something that COMPLIES with your program.

I don't let it bother me when people make comments like that. I know I made the right decision for me, and have no problem with my new healthy lifestyle. Your sister-in-law has been misinformed, and doesn't know what she's talking about. Too bad she couldn't even offer you something like water or decaffeinated tea or coffee. Good for you for taking care of yourself and going out to get what you needed. Big Hugs, Lynn

All I can say is ... she's lucky you didn't slap her :P The water bottle in the purse idea is great, I will definitely start practicing that myself. I usually try to carry one, but walking in places sometimes feels conspicuous, but in my purse... that would work Thanks for the idea guys. People at work do similar things to me too sometimes. I truly think they expect all of us to either fail or live miserable deprived lives. But we all know better... not a chance I wouldn't take those 127 lbs back for all the ice cream, chips, pizza and regular coke in the world. So let them second guess us, we will come here to rant, feel better and know we are doing what's right for us Thanks as always guys, Michele

Thanks everyone for their support ! I usually don't let things like this bother me, but I guess I was just taken back by a Doctor telling his patient that has a weight issue, they can't live the lifestyle after surgery. He is the one that is truely miss informed.... Anyway - onto better things.... Thanks again - Marta

Sorry to post so late on this thread, but I have been out of town on business and just returned today. I had a little comment on this issue. I was chatting with an old friend a few weeks back and she has lost a lot of weight recently too with dieting. We had a lot to talk about but one thing we had both noticed is that no matter how you go about losing weight people are always interested in hearing "HOW???"... I am very open and honest about my surgery. I have had plans to lie about it a few times and as soon as I opened my mouth I couldn't do it, and ended up sharing about my surgery. But as it turns out, most of the time people are looking for some miracle weight loss method. When they hear how you did it even many times without saying their reaction is always either "she'll never keep it off" or "she'll fail somehow" they are looking for us to fail or not be able to follow through. It even happens with family who love us dearly...somehow in their minds they have a hard time grasping that the overweight one will ever truely "stay" skinny. Love them or not people just expect failure.