It's just me...(long)

Well guys I guess I kind of disappeared on you since I got home from the hospital and I really do apologize for that. Its so weird Ive just been so miserable and grumpy lately. Im not "depressed" but just not happy in general...but I dont think it has anything to do with the surgery. I am planning on meeting with the psychologist in our program soon...and we actually have two groups this week, a Behavioral group and a Post-op group, so Im sure I'll get plently of support. Something that is scaring me though is that now that Ive been moved on to more things like chicken, cheese, fish, turkey, tofu, and boca burgers...I haven't been getting my protein in even though my nutritionist increased my intake from 50-60 to 80-100. Yeah thats not happening...yesterday MAYBE I got 50 but the 3 days before that I've been at like 30...but eating isnt the problem, I can eat and I dont have much of an issue...its just that Im afraid that if I increase my protein and eat more solid foods, Im going to stop losing weight. I know thats absolutely RIDICULOUS but its still a big voice in my head. Im going to bring that up at my post-op group. But I think Im going to buy that eating after wls book and find some recipes so I can add variety to my life, then maybe I'll eat more. I need some FLAVOR and something hot, Im sick of drinking everything or eating stuff that is served cold. On a brighter note: I am planning on having more confidence soon, when I start noticing the weight coming off...so I am planning on changing my life. This is a pretty big deal for me but Im scared to death...okay so Im a psychology major and I get good grades but its not really something I want to do forever...and I've always thought Id make an amazing nutritionist but I was always nervous because the schooling is HARD (I suck at math and chemistry) and I never wanted to be a fat nutritionist...but Ive decided to go for it. So currently I am applying to a new school (deadline is the 15th so Im struggling to meet it) and Im living away at school again (if I get housing, cross your fingers!)...but Im so nervous. Im proud of myself for making such a huge decision but Im also so scared. I had a really bad experience living away at school last year but Im hoping this will be different...I will only be 25 minutes away from home and my priorities will be in a different place so hopefully I just do good at my school work and stay out of the drama. They have an AMAZING gym and tons of yoga, spinning, and aerobics classes. It just all seems so perfect- and that will force me to become more social instead of sitting in my house all the time. But the food thing is going to be tough. By the time I move into school I will be 7 1/2 months post-op so I know that I will be eating mostly everything but still, I do not want to get bad eating habits and thats so hard to fight living on a college campus. Thankfully when I looked at the school I saw a lot of fruits and veggies and vegatarian dishes...and I'll try and pack my fridge with stuff I know I can have like cheese and deli meats and boca burgers. I'll just really have to plan and manage my time well. I HOPE I GET IN!! Im extremely nervous, they are a very selective school and the major is competitive because its only one of two in the state. Plus Im not sure my stuff will arrive by the deadline. Please pray for me because I want this more than anything in the world. I actually wrote the admissions office a letter about my previous college experience and my wls and everything...hopefully they take that into consideration because its the entire reason why I want to switch majors. Okay well its been two weeks, four days...and Im down 24lbs since surgery. I need to get my ass on the tredmill today. I hope everyone else is doing well!!

It is good to hear from you Angela!! It sounds like you are doing well with the WLS. I am glad to hear you are going to a couple of groups and a psychologist for you moods. It is such a big change. But hey that is sooooooo totally awesome about you going back to school. Wow I am so proud of you!!! I know you will do really well!!!!! 24 lbs is really awesome you go girl!!!! (((hugs))) Anna