What do I tell my 3 year old

I am concerned on what to tell my daughter. She is 3 and VERY attached to me. My husband slipped the other day and mentioned the hospital and she was obsessed all day with who was in the hospital and why, and are they OK and she doesn't like the hospital. She is a smart cookie and she is not easily fooled. So I throw it out there, what are you telling your little ones and how do you think they will be with you gone for 4 days (at least that is my hospital stay)? Crystal

Hi Crystal, I just signed with intentions of asking others about their children also. I told my kids the truth. They are 5 & 7 tho. My 11 yo neighor thinks I'm going in for lipo suction. I guess they see it on TV. She found out when my kids told her I was going in for surgery to loose weight. I just left it at that with her. I'm just wondering about leaving a letter to my kids in case I don't make it. Perhaps it may sound kooky but I feel I want to do it. There is always a chance I won't make it, even though I'm in relatively good health. I have a song in mind by Bob Dylan, Lord Protect My Child. I think I'll post it on my site. As for your 3 yo. I would keep it simple. Have you ever gone away from her before? Perhaps you could bring her to the hospital and show her where you will be while away from her. So she'll know you will be ok. Good luck. Evelyn

I have 3 children as well ages 15,14,10 and I have kept it very honest w/ them. I know that they are older than yours, so it is somewhat easier. They still have alot of questions and want to be there for me. I told them that they don't have to go to school that day and they can play hooky w/ grama. I don't think that they will be able to concentrate in school anyway. i just hope that I can see them the same night I have surgery. Even though they are older, they are still pretty clingy.....

I told my kids the truth, even though they are a little older than yours (5,7,9,16) I wanted to be honest with them yet not complicate the situation and they understood perfectly and just asked would they be able to visit and I said yes.

I just told my little one (he is 5) that momma is going to go to the hospital to get her tummy down. Luckily he is excited about that because it means I will be able to do more stuff with him without it becoming a chore. I think he is as ready as I am. I think when the time comes he may be upset about me going "away" for a couple of days. However today he had no problem with me going to WLS group. Wooooohooo one milestone passed. The hardest part for us will be getting him up so early but my awesome neighbor has offered to take him in at 5:45 am that morning wow how awesome is that. She will get him on the bus so that hubby can come with me. They are the best. I soooooo appreciate her offering. I was just telling her that I will have to go and have Tommie follow after he gets Logan on the bus. Then she said don't be silly bring him over and I'll pop a movie in. I am so truley blessed. Like Evelyn I will be writing a letter to both Logan and my hubby. I want them both to know how much I love them. Especially Logan he is always saying "momma your my sweet". What a precious child. It for sure will be the toughest thing I will have to write. Evelyn hon, I don't think it is silly at all. Our children are our most precious gift. Anna

Oh man. That was tough. I wrote a little snippet on my profile to my children. That little snippet put me over the edge, I was crying so hard. I don't know if I can say anything else without making myself miserable over it.

I have 4 kids ages 22,19,15,12. They are older kids and I have explained to them the entire procedure. I also told them that there is some risk involved. To ease there minds we talked about all my medical problems and they know that I am dieing and that this surgery will save my life. they are all ok with it. I am sure they worry but they don't want to upset me so they are very supportive. I told my two younger ones to go to school and by the time they get out of school they can go to the hospital and see me. They are ok with that. I figure that they don't need to stay home worrying about me. I am sure glad that they are all old enough to understand. God Bless them they are all great kids.

Crystal: While I do not have children, I think you need to look at similar situations. What would you tell her if you were going to the hospital to have another child? Of course shw would be aware that you are pregnant but the separation anxiety is the same. Be honest with her. Long ago as an educator, I was taught to answer a childs questions honestly. When they can no longer comprehend what you are explaining to them, they will stop asking questions. You do need to assure her that your "illness" is not her fault. When a parent needs to leave and it is not a usual occurrence such as business travel, a child tends to think they are leaving because of something he or she did. Put it in terms that will benefit her. Such as you will be able to do things with her without getting winded or be able to do things together that you cannot do now -- bike riding as an example. This will also give you a reason to walk and exercise with her. Doing it together will make the exercise mentally easier for you as well. Richard

Thank you everyone for all your kind words. I have decided to wait until Sunday and I will sit my daughter down and tell her that I will be away in the hospital and that she can call me and see me. She is soooo attached to me. I went to see my friend last night and my husband said she cried for a half hour. By the way, I DON'T feel it is silly at all to write a letter to our spouses and children. I think it is a very important thing to do. I am also putting together a letter for my child and one for my husband. I run my household, so my husband needs to know where to find the checkbook and how to get on the bank site. Thanks again, I will have my friend who is 8 months post op, update everyone when I am out of surgery. HUGS Crystal