Hilarious!!! And true!!

Hey! I did not get the PM....bummer that we missed each other. My schedule was pretty intense, arrived on Sunday afternoon, had a reception that night. Monday and Tuesday was at a conference and then had appts until I left on Thursday afternoon. I had the start of a cold when I left and as the plane descended my ear got all stopped up, now I have an inner ear infection that is screaming. Hope you had a great week.... ~Tiffers

Hello all! Just a funny to get the weekend started. Teresa This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body.. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills' Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull**** And that's a promise I will keep. Always. . . Best, Wendi Aarons Austin , TX

Hey April! I'm having a good day. I'm off tomorrow and my friend and I are taking a road trip to savannah georgia. I had an ok eating day. When I got to work, an old patient brought junk in and i just HAD to have some of it!! Breakfast: Lite yogart sprinkled w/ protein granola Snack: Protein shake Lunch: 6 huge steamed shrimp w/ old bay season Snack: very small peice of cake, i scraped the icing off if that matters.. lol Snack: handful of m&m's and 1 mini snickers bar Dinner: Smart Ones low carb dinner.. beef pot roast w/ broccoli and cauliflower Snack: Protein shake Kay

Hi all. I finally got PC working at home. It was so friggin slow! I just booked my trip to South Beach so I really have something I'm working towards!! Been going to the gym past few days, started running again...I'm so sore now!! But I gotta keep pressing on! B- 1 scram eggwhite, 1 chicken brkfst sausage, toast w/RS jelly, 1/4c. LF cottage cheese and some cantaloupe chunks S-protein iced coffee and a banana L- 5 steamed Old Bay shrimp, made my own burrito: 93% Lean ground beef, RF cheddar cheese, RF sour cream, pico de gallo, 2 tbsp spanish rice on Mission Carb Balance tortilla...YUM!!!! D- don't know yet...meeting up for dinner with the gals to watch the game. I have some cals to fulfill!! Ran 3 mi, recumbent bike 20mins on level 10. I found that when I work out is when I get my water in. Working out serves many purposes!! April