Please Read! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!

I don't have time for a long post, I am getting ready to go to my gfs baby shower ...  but I do have a lot to say .....

I will just start with ... I am 50 - fifty - 50 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant with Faith.  I am giving birth next Tuesday, taking 6 weeks to recover and establishing my milk supply and I will be back on the wagon so to speak. 

I don't want any scolding, I would not give up my babies for the weight gain AT ALL!  I just want to get some of the weight off before I get pregnant again.

Love ya all!

My word, Woman!  You have been pregnant forever it seems...how can you expect to lose weight?  You are constantly nurishing babies!!

I know that you will get it under control...I have confidence that we ALL can. Well, at least I have the confidence now that I am back.  I was worried about it for a while!

And...um...did I read correctly?  Did you say before you get pregnant AGAIN!?!  I can barely handle ONE!  How do you handle a flock?!

In awe of you, as always...

Love and hugs,
Me

Hello Everyone, 

  Jersey and Chris  you know you are NOT alone at all.  I feel like I've failed also.  Things were
going great for 2 years then it seemed like all of sudden I just started gaining weight back.
My lowest was 144lbs...I'm back up to 173lbs.  I feel totally disgusted with myself but I have noone to blame.   I eat candy like crazy..almost like an obsession.   I can't seem to stop myself from eating.  I've gone from a size 6 pants back to a size 12.  It SUCKS..
I want to get back on track..but my mind isn't cooporating.   I do lurk all the time...I just didn't want to post that I'm a failure at this surgery... I have my appt. with my surgeon the end of the month
maybe he can shed some light on how to get back on track.

Hugs,
Anna

Anna you are alot braver than me.....I don't want to disappoint my surgeon so I have not made an appointment. I should have seen him a few months ago.....I have had my blood work done so I know I am "OK". I even ignored my yearly pap smear!

I do go to my monthly support meetings and have spoke about the regain there and with the RN co ordinator who is married to my surgeon!
Hugs and Miss you!,
Chris

Hey Anna...my first Secret Pal!

I am so happy to see you!  Yeah...it seems that this is a critical point for a lot of us, right?  When the weight really starts to creep up.  It is scary as hell, isn't it?

Come out of lurkdom...I am going to do so, as well!  I know we can beat this if we all support one another!!

Let us know what your surgeon says!  It may be advice we can all use!

Love and hugs and happy holidays!

JM

Hey Jersey and everyone!!!

I have no excuse, I am just such a lurker!!I do stop in and see what's going on with everyone, but I know that that's not really fair!  I've had a hard year this year. I've been trying to get pregnant with no success yet.  I've seen a specialist and have some thinking to do about options. It really has taken a toll on me. I'm hoping 09' brings happiness and resolve to all of us!!!! Hugs to everyone and can't wait for the holiday cards!!!

Hugs,
shannon

Hey Shannon!

So good to see you!  I pray that you are able to succeed with whatever option works best for you!  I will keep you in my thoughts!!

Have a wonderful holiday season!

Love and hugs,
Jersey

Hello my dear Secret Pal,

It feels like years since I've heard from you and it touched my heart to get your email.

I too have been going through a really rough time.  I lost my job the beginning of September and witht he economy the way it is - well let's just say it's really a scary time for those of us unemployed. 

I can't remember the last time I worked out unless you count walking the dog.

And I have been feeding my face to keep my nerves under control which is very old behavior but i guess is my "fall back" behavior.

Luckily I haven't gained too much weight but I am over 200 again 212 to be excact from my lowest of 195.

From what I've read it is very typically for the body to adjust and to regain 10 pounds after losing your weight but I'm 7 pounds above that and scared that it will be more.

I'm interviewing like crazy and many of the things I had last fall for interviews are snug now and I hate that feeling.

Also I've been struggling with a bout of Siatica the last few weeks and I literally have a "pain in the but". So I'm not feeing well, mad at myself and scared silly as the money is running out.

Thankfully I am still eligible for the disability payments and also for medicare, so I do have some money coming in and basic medical care is taken care of.  But it's a scarey time right now.

I can't tell you the last time I even lurked on this site.  I don't know why - I also haven't checked into my state's board and I was very active there as well and even had many IRL get together with those folks.

I think I'm going through a depression over not working again.  It was so good to work again after almost 5 years.  I was loving it and putting in tons of hours.  I really gave it all I had and it was a shock to be told I was being laid off.  Guess I haven't gotten past this yet, still pretty bitter actually which is not like me at all.

But I've had some good interviews and am keeping  my fingers crossed.  Hopefully I will start the new year with a new job and then I can get on with my life again.

I appologize for being away for so long but didn't feel I had anything to really contribute and I was in my own deep dark place.

Thank you Robin for making me come back.  You know I love you to pieces and miss you and everyone more than I can say.

And you are NOT FAT!!!!  Remember all those old discussions on body dismorphia.  Well I think you got it cookie.  You are beautiful inside and outside.  You have been through a rough time but things will get better for all of us.  I know it.

So now that my post is stained with a few tears I wish you and Jersey Kid a safe and happy Christmas.

Much love and hugs,

Ronna

Hi my Ronna!!

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your job.  This economy is just killing us and I know it is a very scary time.  I have every confidence in the world, though, that you will be snapped up shortly!  

I experienced sciatic pain once.  Actually, it was meralgia paresthetica.  It is excrutiating so I am really, really sorry you are experiencing that.    Is there anything you can do to alleviate it?

I know what you mean about being away from the board because you are in a deep, dark place.  That is where I was, too. :(  It seems that we are all struggling in a big, big way.  Honestly, when it rains, it pours.  Yesterday we got a call from our vet to tell us that Max's ACL repair is going to cost $2600.  Honestly, who has that right now?  But we can't let him suffer, either.  It BITES!!

I am so happy that you came back and checked in...you have no idea how it lifted my spirits.  Please, please come back more often!  I have missed you and everyone so very much.

As far as me being fat.  Your words were so kind but, oh, yes, I am fat!  No dysmorphia here!  I probably hide it a bit with my height but my clothes are all tight and I had a hard time finding something to wear today.  I have a closet full of clothes but looked like a cow in one shirt after the next.  And you would think that would motivate me to eat better, right?  Still not happening.  January 1st is my goal.  Wanna join me?  :)

I love you, woman.  Please come back to visit the board!  And here's hoping for a great 2009...for all of us!!

Love and hugs,
Me

Hi Sweet Girl,

I'm trying to eat better.  Been back on the protein shakes for lunch and that helps bring the calorie count down.  but my trouble time is from dinner through bedtime.  I just want to stuff my face and if it's carbs so much the better.  I have been craving pasta and potato chips.  Not together, but you get the idea.  I haven't given in so far but boy would I love a plate of pasta right now.

Sorry about poor Max.  My Hawley is in early renal failure but doing well with medication and special food.  But the vet wants to see her every 3 months for blood work and I just can't afford it right now.  They wanted to see her this month and did n't want to renew her meds without.  When i told them I was out of work they did back down and will give us the meds if we sign a waiver.  At least they were a bit flexible.

She is doing great otherwise.  For a Husky to be 11 and in relatively good health is fabulous.  If you didn't know you would think she is a much younger dog.  And she is happy I'm home and is stuck like glue to me all day long.

For the Siatica the only things I can do is heat and this wonderful Lidocane pain patches my Nerologist gave me.  It is better just annoying now and enough to get in the way of a good nights sleep.  So I'm tired and cranky.


Anyway, I will try and check in much more often.

Be well, stay warm and don't be a stranger,

Love and hugs,

Ronna