I Need Accountability

Hi all! First I want to say that I lurk all the time, but I very rarely post. I don't know why -- it is what it is. Secondly I really hesitated about coming on the board and posting about my struggles because I vaguely remembered some posts a while back about us only posting when things were tough. There's no wls support group in my immediate area and I am finally at my wit's end and figured I would turn back to where I began -- right here with all of you. I am going to make a solemn promise to try my best to check in and post every day to the accountability thread -- good or bad (and it's mostly been bad -- very very bad). I am a stress eater -- I have known this my whole life and life has been so very stressful this past year. My weight is up nearly 12 pounds and continuing to creep up and I am tring so very hard to get the eating back under control before those 12 turn into 120. I HATE the way my body feels right now. I'm all puffy on top, which is where those 12 pounds went after the body lift. In the past it was all hips or boobs, but now? Now it's upper stomach and it's VERY uncomfortable. Just a brief rundown of the last year. My daughter has seizure disorder, which has been uncontrolled with multiple therapies. In November 07 we lost total seizure control and as a result, she was evaluated and underwent two separate brain surgeries in May 08. She's doing very well, but mom is stressed from the worry and the strain. Because of her issues, I have been working a flex week (3-12 hour days and then remotely from home on Thurs and Fri) and will continue this until August. I am in school working on my second degree (which hopefully will be much more useful than the first one) and am taking the online accelerated five-week classes, which are VERY labor intensive. Which makes for not a lot of extra time. My wonderful husband is having some family issues that are spilling over into daily life. Nothing bad at all, other than my reaction to them. And to top it off, I am floundering around in my daily walk with God, which has always been a priority. My faith isn't floundering at all, I just feel like I'm drifting through right now with His guidance and I'm at a loss. Anyway -- if any of you have read all the way to the end of my book, thanks. I didn't want to come and dump, but at this point with my weight heading back in the wrong direction, I figured it was time to come back. Lisa

Lisa, Hugs ... I am only about 30 mins away if you ever want to meet for coffee and just girltalk ... My weight was up 23 pounds from my lowest when I got pregnant this time. I have gained 6 pounds so far. I am so sorry about your daughter. I hope she will continue to do well. That is a lot of school and work you have going on. Not to mention that it is in addition to having a family to care for. I feel you on the daily walk my days are so full and tiring, I have trouble makig it a priority. And I know that when God is my priority, my life runs smoother. Kinda silly of me not to just make it 1st everyday! God Bless! Jen

Hey Jen! Thanks for the response and the offer. My daughter is doing fairly well -- just some residual side-effects would should resolve after time. I will agree with you that when my daily walk stays on path, the rest of life doesn't seem quite so stressfull. When I flounder around, then that's when things start to creep in and stress me out. Coincidentally, that's when the potato chips begin to call me from the hospital cafeteria. LOL. Lisa

Hey Lisa! Welcome back, love. Its always good to come back to us, your brothers and sister who know somewhat what you're going through wls related. Schhol is crazy for me too. I am taking accelerated classes through the summer and its humongous- that's what I get for taking easy classes during the regular semesters lol. Dump anything you need, we're here.

Nice to see your smile .......... This is the place to be if you need support.....we are there for you.......... I totally know what you are saying when you say that the gain is uncomfortable it feels like an internal belt that is squeezing you.......I really need to get these extra pounds I have gained all the way off.....right now I have know clue I am afraid of the scale....and am having a hard time getting back on it... HAVE A GREAT WEEK TORI

Dear Lisa: My heart and best wishes are with you... I know how hard it is to go through our daily strougles and fight with our inner demonds. It used to be a time a little while ago when I thought that my biggest challenge was my overweight. When I finnally got my dreamed weight I found that I was exactly the same person fighting the same battles in my mind. In short I was the same fat man in my mind and struggling to not fall in the same problems... I fought hard to get rid of my demonds. My wish for you is that you will wind the battle and find a release of you stress out of garbage food. My prayers are for you and your kid and your whole family. We always need something to lay on in order to release pressure caused by stress. I hope you will find another activity or support out of food to get your stress out of you... Big hug. Alex