Hard to Leave, Awkward to Return

Friends... I never made a conscious decision to stop posting here. I got so, so busy at work...I was literally working 70-hour work weeks. But that craziness trailed off and I got distracted by my failing marriage, my inability to stop eating cookies, my near-affair... But last week I took a good look at myself and said, "Who the hell IS this person?!!" Once I realized I wanted to pick up the pieces of my life VERY quickly...one of the first things I thought of was this board and my wonderful friends here. I won't spend loads of time gushing about how sorry I am that I disappeared...I will just say it quickly and move on...it's been a hard 6 months. So I came "this" close to leaving my husband. He works all the time...I am essentially a single Mom. When he IS home he is a drag...nasty, moody, judgmental... And it is not because he is stressed at work...oh no! He LOVES his job. I have gotten into the habit of calling him "Father de Bricassart." Has anyone ever read/seen The Thorn Birds? Ralph de Bricassart was the priest in the book/movie. He was in love with a girl, Meg Cleary, but he loved his ambition more. Actually, he screwed a whole family out of their inheritance because of his ambition. This is my husband's cross to bear. He is painfully ambitious...he knows it is both a blessing and a curse. Perhaps as a result of my declining marriage, I fell in "crush/love/lust" with a co-worker and we started a "bordering-on-inappropriate" friendship. The good thing is...he works out of the southern office so he is 800 miles away from me. But still, a strong feeling developed between us and, for quite a while, I considered meeting with him. He, too, is married. What a horrible scene. I have since backed away. On top of all this, I am struggling financially (who isn't!) and I have been eating cookies non-stop! I had gotten down to 162 (for one day!) but my current weight is 173. One more lb. and I am officially overweight again. Time to stop the insanity! This is not a total sob-fest, mind you...my son is GREAT! And that really is the most important thing of all! He is healthy and happy and we have a blast together. So, for that, I am blessed beyond belief! And I actually like my job these days. Another blessing! I want to say that I am back for good...but, well, you never know, right? I have thought about you all very, very often...and I am glad to see this board is still alive. I need to get back on track with my eating (I started just today...I am STARVING) and I know that I canNOT do it without your support! So, even though I feel a little awkward returning after all this time, here I am. A little battered and bruised...but hopeful. All my love, Jersey Mom

Dear Dear friend: You are not alone. I can relate with your feelings more that you can imagine. You can count with me. I am here to support you. You will never be alone here in our forum. You are very welcome and you will find your family here. This is not the first time I say this: you can have a friend in Mexico...!!!! I am sure that you will find out the exit to all of your problems. Believe me that I can relate of all what you have said more that you can imagine. I have succeeded and now I am leving a life full of love and harmony. If I could do it You will do it!!!. We are not so different... Your trully friend Alex

Jersey (Hug) I have missed you so much. I am glad to see you back and think of you often. I am in no place to judge anyone thats for sure. I hope your marriage works out for you if that is what you really want. I am thrilled to see your son is great. I hope for your sake you can get through your weight struggles. It sure is hard. I am struggling too. Hugs again and speak to you soon! Chris

Hey sweetie! Glad to hear you're back... I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, but definately glad Jersey Kid is on the up with his health! We're doing the weekly weigh in again to keep us on track. Many of us have started working out again- I'm taking three classes this summer at the college in fitness alone! OYE! Welcome back, love and sip sip sip!

I'm just glad to have you back!!! We all have the thing called "life" which can really throw a monkeywrench in things! But its good you're back on track. Also, it's good that you've realized some things that could make your life even more hectic than it already is...we certainly can't say that for everyone. So welcome back!!! April

So happy to see you back wow I remember the Thornbirds read it in like 8th grade (I used to always read my Moms books when she was done with them) Glad things are back on track..... I have also been struggling I even weighed yesterday and am up 5 pounds from what I never wanted to go over...it is so scary I am pounding the fluid and protien this weekend and will post Monday when I weigh hopefully less. HAVE AGREAT WEEKEND TORI

Hey Jersey, I'm more of a lurker than a poster over here lately, but I did miss your posts and am glad to see that you are back. I have had ups and downs in my personal life over the past 7 to 8 months as well, and can relate. Hugs and keep moving forward. During the roughest times in my life, when I *do* come out the other side, I always seem to find that I've changed for the better and wouldn't have had it any other way. Beth

JM I am glad to see you posting and have thought of you often. I really hope everything works out. Love Jen

Hey Jersey! Sorry to hear of the challenges but you will work it through and come forward as a stronger person. We're here to listen and be a support. Good to hear all is well with your son. Your in my thoughts! Hugs, Tiffany