Such a failure and loser!!!

Thank all of you SOOOO much for your support. I am gonna try so hard to get back on track. I really am. True I know I am not a failure, but its hard not to see me as that. I had been doing so good and then something not sure what kicked me in the butt. I do have a LOT on my plate (no pun intended either) I do feel better that I am not the only one that has gained weight back. I was doing so well and looking SOOO good and then BAM. My old habits came back. I am not really depressed, I did talk to my Dr and she said put me on depression meds. Personally I did not think I needed em, but I did take em for like 2 weeks and the side effects were not worth it and I did NOT feel better. Its something I can do on my own, I just need my BUTT kicked back, plus the holidays coming up is NOT gonna be easy. I just had my 33rd birthday last week, Halloween (CANDY) Thanksgiving, church homecoming, Christmas parties, then new years, my daughter's 3rd birthday, etc.... Not trying to make excuses of course. I mean I was at 201 and weighed less than my mother, which I never thought I would do, and then NOW I am above her again. AGHHHH. The way my gym membership works is I can ONLY work out Tues, Thur and Sun. They have free child care but only during the week and on the weekends my daughter is with me they don't and I have NOONE to watch her. I used to walk at work. I GOTTA get back to that, I KNOW. The nutritionist doesn't help me, I KNOW what I need to do, I just GOTTA do it. Thank you ALL for your help and support. I was SOOO scared to admit I gained the weight. I am supposed to be the STRONG one not weak.