Feeling humiliated (remember those times?)

Today I had a meeting with the support group of obese people I am helping to. The leaders are a nutritionist, a therapist and myself. We had a low quorum today. That would be bad under certain situations but in light of the fact that all the absent girls did advice the reason why they wouldn't be able to be there whe were confortable that it was not a problem. So, we found ourselves with only five people. We had an easy meeting talking about our experiences on getting healthy relationship with food. That is my contribution to the team because neather the nutritionist or the therapist are obese. In one moment one of the girls there which have a lot of overweight (she must be around 400 lbs) broke in tears and told us that she felt really frustrated. Because she was certain that she had to change her feeding habits and the need of working out. She felt so ashamed because she tryed to swim for several weeks and felt so good about the fact of working out. But the problem started at the moment of she wanted to leave the pool. She was unable to support herself into the mettalic ladder to go out of the pool. She felt ashamed and humiliated and two grown up men had to assist her in order to allow her to go out of the water. She tryed not to feel ashamed for that. She persisted for few weeks looking for ways to go out of the pool in a dignified matter. She had with her stools, and ladders and other stuff but she always found herself unable to go out of the pool and found that the effort costed a lot of physical and spiritual pain. And then she was there crying with all her might asking for help... she wanted to swim, she loved to swim but due to her overweight she felt unable to do it again... and because of the frustration she found herself getting support with unhealthy food. She felt like a complete looser... If you could see her... Oh My!!! she broke my heart... I know the way she feels... I hated when other people looked at me and laughed for a funny situation that causes an obese person feel humiliated like the time I broke a stool... Any sugestions??? I am going to look for another kind of facilities more in accordance with the necessities of an obese or aged person... what else would you suggest me to do to help this girl??? Best Regards... Alejandro from Guadalajara Mexico

Thank you for sharing that Alex, my heart breaks for her as well. It is so sad, and not that long ago that I was there myself. We had gone out on the boat and all jumped off into the lake. When it was time to get back on the boat I had my dad and two sisters shoving me back up the ladder cause I couldn't do it. The best thing to assure her she is not alone. I don't know if they have anything where she lives, but I would imagine some type of physical therapy place would have a pool that would work better for her, ask the doctors you work with in this group as well, they should know of something. Karyn

Thank you for you comment Karyn... I will pass your message to Sonia (if you don't mind it of course)... she will love to know that she is understood but other people out of her environment... Alejandro from Guadalajara Mexico

We sure have all been there thats for sure...It brings back memories and emotions for me too. I am sorry she has to deal with this. I am not sure if there is anything you could do to help her except to keep encouraging her. Again I am so sorry for her... Hugs, Chris

thanks for your encouraging Chris... I am right now looking for an alternative in the web. I have found some kind of ladder with plataform, I hope it will be of help... Alejandro from Guadalajara Mexico

Oh Alex, This breaks my heart too as this was me 2 years ago. I injured myself trying to get out of a swimming pool that I was at for physical therapy. I had to stop going because it wasn't safe for me. Because of the problems with my legs I still must inspect the pool before I get in as I can't climb the ladder there must be stairs with a railing that I can use to hold on to in order to get out now. So even now, after losing 130lbs it is still an issue for me. All you can do for her is be there to listen and support her and encourage her to talk with whoever he owners are of the pool to install a handicap accessible entrance. I wish I had more ideas but this is a hard one. Sending hugs, Ronna

Hi Rona: You've got an excellent idea. The problems is that sadly in Mexico we are way back from USA in facilities thought for handicapped people. That is really sad. Indeed this is a problem I want to solve out but it looks like it is something that requires money or another kind of resources. One of the limitations here is that Sonia has the advantage to swim in this pool with a very low rate due of the fact that her mother works there. So, looking for another kind of facilities would represent a cost that perhaps she is not able to pay. Pools with stairs instead of ladders are usally present in private clubs but that is out of question because of the cost. The facilities designned for physical therapy usually have small pools the size of a big jacuzzi not suitable for swimming. Gosh!!! it's frustrating... No matter that I am looking for more suitable facilities. If I find one that suits the requirements we will try to deal with the fares. Thanks a lot Godmother... Alejandro from Guadalajara Mexico