Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had my surgery Jan 23 2006.Well duh I course I had it in Jan 06, this is the Jan 06 surgery forum, lol I had lost over 140lbs. But in the last month or so I have gained almost 25lbs back. I am so ashamed & embarrassed. I can't seem to stop eating, I feel like I eat all the dang time. First off I AM NOT PREGNANT. I have PCOS which is a infertility problem and when I got pregnant before I had to use fertilty drugs and now I have Merina (IUD) to make sure. I eat in the middle of the night and I feel like I can't stop myself. I have been under a HUGE amount of stress. HUGE. I am ashamed to go to my support group and tell them, because I don't want to let them know how down I am. OF COURSE stupid idea I KNOW. I just don't know what to do. I am SOOOOO mad at myself. I mean I can eat anything I don't even dump anymore. My dumping was getting nauseated, sweating and sleepy. Just feeling BLAH. I never threw up. I WISH I COULD DUMP again so I would not have that feeling anymore. I can't even get up the will power to get off my lazy butt to walk. Plus its been extra hot. So does anyone have any thoughts, ideas? Melissa

Hi Melissa, Don't beat yourself up! I too have gained back 5 lbs.. I keep telling myself I need to get back into the routine of exercise and eating right. I never dumped ever! I can eat anything also. I also eat all the time. We need to make ourselves accountable again like we did in the begining. I know that I was told before I had the surgery that I would have to work to keep the weight off. We would lose it fast..but if we didn't do the right things we would gain it all back. I don't know about you...BUT..I didn't have this surgery to only be thin for a year or two!! It's time for us to get back to the basics and make healthier choices and exercise!!! Good luck!! Anna

Thank you Anna, I know what I need to do. I just need to find the strength in me to do it again. TRUE I did not do this surgery to be thin for only a few years I wanted to be thinner for a lifetime and healthier for myself and my daughter. I try not to beat myself up, I really do. But I am doing the stress eating. I am stressed from finances and being a single mother and TRYING to cope on my own and paying for daycare. Thats what I am stressing about. I DO live from paycheck to paycheck and my daughter comes first, but sometimes after all the bills are paid, she still needs pull ups, food etc.. and I JUST don't have it. I 'make' to much for social services to help me with daycare expenses. YEAH sure I do. But because I am not on welfare and I am HELPING myself, I am the bad guy. So I turn to food again. I just need something to kick me in the butt again so I can get going again. Thank you for your support. Melissa

Melissa, Being a single mother is the toughest job there is!! I can understand why you're stressed out. You don't have to go to the gym to get exercise. You could have a fun time with your 2 year old by just turning on the radio and dancing around the house. Dancing is great for the heart rate! And fun for your daughter too. Maybe instead of eating something drink water instead... You'd have to make it a mental challenge! I know it is for me. We're here for you!!! Hugs, Anna

Melissa, Please don't beat yourself up! We all have ups and downs, emotionally and weight-wise. Middle of the night eating is often associated with: 1-Vitamin imbalance or 2-Certain medications. What does your MD say? When were your last blood tests? We are always here to bounce ideas off of so please don't go away again. RobinNJ

Robin, Thank you for your reply. Well my dr in a lack of a better term is a "DUMBASS" I can't stand her. My Dr that I really liked and helped me through out the whole WLS ordeal left the practice. So the one that took over her spot. I would rather go to a veterinarian that go to her. She is a dumb ass moron. I went to her and told her how I was feeling and all she said was "well eat less and get more exercise and here are some depression pills" Well I was NOT depressed. Stressed yes, but not depressed. I am angry at myself, but not on the verge of killing myself or crying uncontrollably. I have no desire to hurt myself or others. Also after WLS I no longer have diabetes and of course that is in my chart, she neglected to read my chart and she asked me why I was no longer taking my diabetic medication and I said I was no longer diabetic, which the other Dr told me and wrote it in my chart. She said and how is it that you are no longer a diabetic? I was like, "well if you actually read my chart, you will see that I had WLS" SEE what I mean my DA?? I take my vitamins everyday. It's not that I don't have energy. That is fine actually, Its just been so hot and after working all day and being a single parent of a 2 yr old all by myself ITS hard. So thats what I am stressed about. I would love to join a gym, but the lack of money I can't afford a gym right now and I can't afford a baby sitter to watch my daughter IF I go work out. So that is what I am so stressed about. True I could look for a new Dr, but how do I know that one is good? Do I just go to a different Dr every week or so till I find a good one? I don't actually have the time off of work to do that. So thats my problem. P.S I did not take the depression pills, I did for a week, but I did not feel I needed them because I was not depressed. Thanks again for the reply, God Bless Melissa

Melissa, rule one is you have to bee good to yourself. Each day is a new opportunity to change things. OK you haven't done what you need to do for awhile. But you can change that. Many of us, me included, are struggling with food issues at this point. As for me, I tend to eat too quickly or overeat to the point of vomiting. Many times I need to have this full to the brim feeling that I used to have when I overate before surgery. That's my craziness But I'm working on it. Luckily, I haven't gained any weight, YET! But, I haven't lost any in awhile. So know that you're not alone. Maybe you can hang out here with us a bit more to help stay more focused. Anyway, know that you're not alone and that we are pulling for you. Sending hugs, Ronna

Ronna, I agree I have been away for MUCH MUCH to long. I gotta get my butt back in gear and back in here. I have never vomited since surgery not one time. I WISHED I did that would be my deterant, I HATE vomiting. I really gotta get back in shape again. I can't lose (well in this sense) gain all that I have worked for. Losing 140lbs and having my tummy tuck and they cut off 10.9lbs of fat. So I gotta fire myself up and just DO IT. Thank all of you for your love and support. Thats all I need is a push. I need people to ask me "Melissa, did you get off your lazy butt today and walk? Melissa, did you eat something you should not have?" KICK ME IN THE BUTT, get me going. I was feeling so good about myself after my tummy tuck I got down to 201.5 lbs and 2 days ago I was at 225. AGHHHHH I almost cried. I can do it I know I can. I just have to find the WILL POWER, OH WILL POWER WHERE ARE YOU?? I have lost you and I desperately need to find you again. So if anyone sees WILL POWER, will you please tell him I am looking for him.

Hi Melissa! Did you walk today?

Hi Melissa, Welcome back, we are here to help and support you however possible. I find that I am protein deficient when I crave intense amounts of food and wake up in the middle of the night. I;ve written about that in recent weeks. Protein suppliments have helped me thru. I need at least 2 a day - a whey shake with soy milk (35g) and a profect shot (25g). A protein bar is a bonus; otherwise I am looking for a something like turkey/bacon/avocado/miracle whip/cheese to calm the ravenous beast. Get out of my way if I have not had enough protein and am hungry. I've worked hard to overcome this in past weeks and am pleased to say I've not attached the fridge or anyone in search of food. Seriously. Try to drink a suppliment an hour before bed, I will really help. And all the protein will help you stay away from bad carbs which are an addiction in themselves. Protein will help overcome the cortisol which builds when you are stressed. As Jaci said....have you walked today? This will also greatly help. Post your menu with us each day....there is no judgement, just honest listing of all the food we eat (and it can be ALOT!!!). Writing it all down helps to recognize patterns. See you soon,. Tiffany