My crazy life update

My weight sucks and I am struggling like crazy with emmotional eating ... those damn demons will not go away! I am in a 16 and weighing 212ish. At conception I weighed 194 and got down to 189 in my first trimester. I would like to be back at 190. I felt great and looked good at that weight. I just can't keep the junk food out of my mouth. I know don't buy it right ??? Baby Faith is now 5 1/2 weeks old and 9lbs 6oz. She is growing like a weed. As she should be because she is constantly attached to me and loves to suckle all the time - ouch. She is a good baby, no colic or fussiness, she does like to be held though. If I give her formula she will sleep for 4 hours at night. We go to court in 1 1/2 weeks to find out what will happen with Marissa and Nathanial. I do not know what is up with the bio family. They did not show up for a scheduled visit today. I guess this looks bad for them in court but the kids were drug to the CPS office in anticipation of seeing mom, gram and gramps. Bedtime will be fun with Marissa, she always struggles after one of these "events." Ana went back to her mother at her mother's foster home today. I am feeling guilty about not feeling bad about her leaving. I am so overwhelmed with "work" that right now one less kiddo is a blessing. I am barely keeping things up at the house, with Faith being so new she is consuming my time and energy. My mom died last week, on the 2nd. We took a trip home to PA and she was able to meet Baby Faith and spend some time with her before her death. She was a Christian and is in heaven with Jesus. The cancer that ravaged her body is gone and she is a whole and new being. My dad could use some prayers. They were married 34 years this past March. They have been each others lives. Being in TX is hard for me now. I really want to be in PA. That is my update, sorry I have been scarce. I am so busy I hardly have time to pee during the day and I am exhausted at night. I love you all and hope you are doing well! God Bless! Jen

Jen each of us understands how hard it is for you and I am so sorry for your loss! Please pee during the day as it could lead to bladder infections. Anyway slow down and do not feel guilty about having one less kid, that is understandable for the stress and healing both physically and emotionately.....As far as eating I too am struggling and I did not give birth recently unless you count 15.5 years ago I willbe keeping you and your dad in my prayers.... Hugs, Chris

Thanks Chris, I have peed twice today. the young kiddos are napping and Marissa is playing quietly - ahh peace. Thanks for the prayers. God Bless! Jen

Jen I am so sorry for your loss. But then again she is no longer in any pain and at peace. I will keep sending positive thoughts that the court makes the right decision so your wonderful family can be offically a family Take care of yourself. There are alot of folks depending on you. Sending hugs, Ronna

Thanks Ronna, I am glad she is no longer in pain. The whole thing just sucks - this is my second mom to bury (she was my stepmom but had stood in the gap since my bio mom died) and I am so sad for my dad. I am trying to take care of my self. This is my kiddy break time !!!! God Bless! Jen

Jen, so sorry to hear how hectic things have been for you. I know it's tough. Prayers going out for you and your dad. At least you know your mom's in a better place, even though you and your dad will miss her. Take care of all those kids and yourself! Hang in there...the weight will come off before long. Karla

Karla, Thanks for the prayers, I know dad is benefitting from them. God Bless! Jen

Jen - your life is changing in new directions. Some sad, some empowering and all with the blessings of God. I am so glad to hear that baby Faith is strong and growing. Your compassion for children is amazing. Have faith that what life brings is the best; you are amazing and I will keep you and your family in my prayers during all this turmoil. May your Mom rest in peace and how lovely that her loving eyes met Faith before moving onto a better place in this universe. I hope your Dad finds a comfortable place after the loss of his beloved. God bless, ~Tiffany

Tiffany, Thank you for this post, the depth of it really touched me. God Bless, Jen

Jen, So sorry for your lose, you are right though she is at peace now. Be patient and your weight will go down, I'm sure you look amazing like you always do. Thanks for checking in & your family is in my thoughts. Carly