My Own Embarrassing Toddler Story!
Hey Everyone!
I had a funny/embarrassing thing happen yesterday so I thought I would share it with my January sisters (and brothers if you are still out there).
First let me digress. I am not sure if I told you this or not but my parents are visiting from Florida. I am *so* happy about that because you all know how much I love them! Plus, Jersey Husband is traveling to Budapest next week so, if my parents were not here, it would be just me and the non-English speaking in-laws. What a hoot THAT would be! So...in my 3-bedroom split-level house, there currently resides 6 adults, 3 large dogs (my parents brought their Retriever and Husky) and a toddler. It just does not get more fun than that!
Anyhow...when I got home from work yesterday, my parents and Jersey Kid were swimming. The water was gloriously warm so I ran in to get my bathing suit on. Here is the thing about my suit, though (the non-bikini)...before WLS, I was fairly flat chested. Now I am practically concave! I mean...flat as a board! Thank God for good bras. And thank God for my little inserts that I put in my bathing suit. They are just little foam cups that you slip into the bra part. They do not make me large...they just give me a little bump.
So I put in my inserts and off I went. Jersey Kid decided that he wanted me to jump off the side of the pool holding him. I had to jump into the little end because I did not want his head submerged. I did this about 8 times (and, HELL YES, I am sore today!). However, two of the times I jumped in the water, my inserts came out of my suit (guess I have to sew them in!). So I gave up on them. I took them off and put them on the table on the patio.
I continued swimming but Jersey Kid was done so he started wandering around...playing outside the pool. He made his way to the patio and, naturally, found my inserts! He picked them up and said, "Mommy...look!" Without thinking, I yelled, "Aw, hon...please put down Mommy's boobs!" Jersey Kid LAUGHED at that and started saying, "I got the boobs! I got Mommy's boobs!" Of course I thought was hysterical and so did my parents. We are kind of a strange family that way. I ended up getting out of the pool to take them away from him and put them on top of the radio on the patio...out of his reach.
Fast forward to dinner time. We had finished dinner outside and were all sitting at the table and chatting (my parents, the in-laws, Jersey Husband, Jersey Kid and me). Jersey Kid asked to be excused from the table (he really did!) so I let him. He started wandering around the back yard. All of a sudden I hear him yell, "Oh! Mommy's boobs! Mommy's boobs!" Now I am trying to talk VERY loudly because I do not want the in-laws to understand what he is saying. Again, they understand SOME English but I do not know if they know THAT word! Finally Jersey Kid stopped saying it and I breathed a sigh of relief. However, that was short-lived because, all of a sudden, my boy comes flying up the deck stairs toward us...wearing one of the inserts ON HIS HEAD! LIKE A YAMAKA! He was grinning from ear to ear saying, "I got Mommy's boobs on my head! I got Mommy's boobs on my head!" Was I MORTIFIED?? Absolutely. Did I proceed to laugh my ass off? YOU BET!!!
Gotta love the kid, right??
Have a great day!
Jersey Mom