Adventures w/ the In-Laws: Part I

JerseyMom
on 5/15/07 12:25 am - Pequannock, NJ
Good morning! Well, I kept my therapy appointment and the guy was great. I found him VERY easy to talk to. But....I don't think I will be going back (more on that in a later post, maybe). I thought I would do my part to liven up the board by posting some of my adventures with my in-laws. I am not doing so in misery (not yet)...I am doing it with a large dose of humor (at least I still HAVE my sense of humor!). Maybe there will only ever BE a Part I to this saga (...but I highly doubt it). So here is the first installation which I will call: Part I - The Vomit Comet. Now...we as Americans are, for the most part, individualistic. I know I am. Other cultures, such as those that exist in India, are group societies. When the two societies meet, there are bound to be certain, um...clashes. Let me describe my living situation. I have a split level house. You walk into the front door and there is a small hallway. Straight ahead is a closet. Turn to the left and there is a railing and a set of 5 stairs that lead to the living room, kitchen and dining room area. When you get to the top step, you can immediately turn right, then right again, and head up 8 more stairs to the top floor. Once you hit the top step, immediately to the left is our only full bathroom. Two steps ahead to the left is the linen closet. On the right is my son's room, on the left (after the linen closet) is my room and, straight ahead is the guest bedroom...now "The In-Law Room." Now...it would be oh-so-nice if the door to the In-Law Room was kept closed permanently. Alas, since they are a group society, they feel it is fully appropriate to leave the door open at all times. ALL TIMES. This results in a nice full view of my father-in law (FIL) sleeping in his little shorts, tank top and knee-length black socks (I sh*t you not). And, since he sleeps more than a cat, I am blessed with this view ANY time I need to go into my bedroom. But I digress...let me tell you about what happened this weekend. My son is sick, right? Well, this herpetic stomatitis causes vomiting. I was comforting my son in MY bed late Saturday night when he decided to roll off of me and...GWAAACK...hurl on my bed. No big deal...I have a thick comforter. I quickly whipped off his clothes and my comforter and stuffed them both into my laundry basket. Since there was no smell, there was no way I was going to leave him to do laundry. I decided it would keep until the morning. Luckily, he did not vomit again and we all went to sleep. Fast forward to Sunday morning. My oh-so-lovely Mother's Day. My husband spend ALL MORNING mowing the lawn. How it took my Dad 2 hours to mow the same lawn but takes my husband 8 hours I will never know but oh well. So I was forced to sit with the In-Laws and my VERY cranky son all morning (I am talking from 6 am until about 1 pm). I have to admit, I was getting a little p.o.ed. This was the first weekend with my in-laws...not to MENTION Mother's Day...and my husband was nowhere to be found. Finally, though, my son let me out of his sight for a moment. When he is sick, he will not let me go...he is so clingy. But I got a reprieve and remembered about the comforter. I ran to my room to grab it so I could throw it in the wash. When I got to my bedroom (after getting a full view of Snoring Beauty in his little shorts and black socks), guess what I saw? MY BED WAS MADE...WITH THE COMFORTER! Now...it would be sweet to think that a Mother's Day Fairy came and, with a wave of her wand, cleaned the vomit and made my bed. But...no...NO SUCH LUCK. My MIL (in the goodness of her heart, I KNOW this)...WRENCHED my comforter out of my laundry basket (does she think I jam my comforter in my laundry basket every night because I am too lazy to fold it and put it elsewhere??!) and MADE THE BED WITH IT. So now the vomit is BACK on the bed. But, wait, there's MORE! The comforter is REVERSIBLE and, yes, my friends, she placed it VOMIT SIDE DOWN! So...now not only does my room smell like puke, I have to clean the comforter AND the blanket under it...which I had JUST washed on Saturday. I could not make this stuff up!! Ya gotta smile, though, right? Oh...and did I tell you that my in-laws have the tendency to keep calling 911 from my phone? They did it no less than 5 times last year while they were here. Apparently, their other son's phone number is 911-something. But they keep forgetting to dial the 001 international dialing code. So...Happy Mother's Day again...I get a call from my township's police department. My son was already screaming bloody murder because of the Orajel so that is what 911 heard when I answered the phone. I was like, "I SWEAR I am not murdering my son!" I explained the situation and told them that, unfortunately, they would probably be hearing from me several more times until they leave. GEEESH! Have a great day, everyone! And, please remember...I am telling this story with a smile (but only because they upped my Prozac...JUST KIDDING!). Have a great day! Smile! Jersey
Ladybugmom
on 5/15/07 1:17 am - Lockport, NY
Jersey you really make me lAUGH....I am really sorry you have to put up with the stress of in laws but if you keep your sense of humor perhaps you will prevail. Keep strong and keep laughing and just think had there not been puke on the blanket how nice it really would have been that she made your bed. Hugs and glad you kept your appointment with the doctor..... Chris
JerseyMom
on 5/15/07 1:29 am - Pequannock, NJ
Chris: Don't get me wrong...my MIL is an absolute angel. I think she is one of the greatest women on the planet. To have raised my husband and be married to Señior Useless makes her Wonder Woman in my eyes. Plus...she cooks like no other human on the planet. I was never a fan of Indian food until she came along but now, I swear, I start to drool when I know she is cooking! Not great for a post-op but, ah well! I promise to keep my sense of humor through all this! Love ya! Jersey
wendylm
on 5/15/07 1:28 am - Benton, AR
It could be worse......he could sleep in the nude!!!! Wendy
toleary
on 5/15/07 3:28 am - AZ
Glad you went to the therapist.... I think you should write for a living, you are so very entertaining... Remember this to shall pass, eventually........ HAVE A GREAT DAY
Karla Lewis
on 5/15/07 4:29 am - Livingston, TX
Keep us up on the In-Law Adventures. This was funny, probably not living it, but it was hearing about it. Maybe it will be no worse than this. Keep your sense of humor! Karla
shannon31600
on 5/15/07 8:15 am - NJ
That really made me chuckle!!I'm glad it made you laugh, especially when your dealing with in-laws,lol!!!
Carly P.
on 5/15/07 8:30 am - Fairport, NY
So sorry Jersey your story had some entertainment value. Hopefully things will get better. How long are the In-Laws staying?
Jen Jen J.
on 5/15/07 2:17 pm - Houston, TX
I really was expecting to read that part of his anatomy had removed itself from the tiny shorts How is your son's mouth?
JerseyMom
on 5/15/07 11:53 pm - Pequannock, NJ
Jen: Haaaa!!! If I saw that, no amount of therapy in the world would cure me!! Hee hee....grooooooooss!!! Hugs, Jersey
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