Update: Back on Track
Thanks to all *****sponded and helped me in my time of need/weakness. What I can tell you is this, I think I'll be okay. My husband has been really supportive and last night he kept telling me that I am being too hard on myself. (Which I have a tendency and past history of doing 
)
He basically reiterated that I need to focus on avoiding those things like cookies and candies, but that I have to remember that I am skinny and at a really healthy weight and that as long as I don't go totally nutty -- like eating a whole bag of something -- a little here and there won't hurt. He just thinks that I need to get it out of my daily routine again.
I mean, my surgeon thinks its great if I eat things that aren't truly "kosher" as long as I do it in moderation. She says, "this isn't a life sentence - you can enjoy all the same things as the next person." She also said in Feb. (right before my big dream vacation and subsequent "breakdown") that she wishes all of her patients could do as well and be as successful as me. That's great to hear...
And today was a new day, again, and I did alright. In fact, in NOT eating small bits ALL day long, I was able to notice that my pouch is still small. I do get full easily - on food, not sweet candy that chews up into liquid in my mouth and clears my pouch just as easily.
So, like I said, I think I'll be okay. It's just...(maybe you can relate)...this surgery worked so well for me. It took hardly any effort to drop 164 pounds. So, while it was happening, I couldn't take credit for it. People told me how proud they were of me and I had to blow it off, I told them that it wasn't really me and that I felt strange saying "thanks" without the disclaimer of "no, I don't feel like I am doing anything to get this result." So now, the weight is off and I could be happy maintaining here. But since I don't feel as though I got myself here, I feel like it is out of my control whether I gain or maintain. make sense? I am just very fearful -- I mean, I didn't allow myself to get to 347, it just kinda happened. What if it happens again?
Thanks for all your help and for listening.
Best, Emily
)
He basically reiterated that I need to focus on avoiding those things like cookies and candies, but that I have to remember that I am skinny and at a really healthy weight and that as long as I don't go totally nutty -- like eating a whole bag of something -- a little here and there won't hurt. He just thinks that I need to get it out of my daily routine again.
I mean, my surgeon thinks its great if I eat things that aren't truly "kosher" as long as I do it in moderation. She says, "this isn't a life sentence - you can enjoy all the same things as the next person." She also said in Feb. (right before my big dream vacation and subsequent "breakdown") that she wishes all of her patients could do as well and be as successful as me. That's great to hear...
And today was a new day, again, and I did alright. In fact, in NOT eating small bits ALL day long, I was able to notice that my pouch is still small. I do get full easily - on food, not sweet candy that chews up into liquid in my mouth and clears my pouch just as easily.
So, like I said, I think I'll be okay. It's just...(maybe you can relate)...this surgery worked so well for me. It took hardly any effort to drop 164 pounds. So, while it was happening, I couldn't take credit for it. People told me how proud they were of me and I had to blow it off, I told them that it wasn't really me and that I felt strange saying "thanks" without the disclaimer of "no, I don't feel like I am doing anything to get this result." So now, the weight is off and I could be happy maintaining here. But since I don't feel as though I got myself here, I feel like it is out of my control whether I gain or maintain. make sense? I am just very fearful -- I mean, I didn't allow myself to get to 347, it just kinda happened. What if it happens again?
Thanks for all your help and for listening.
Best, Emily Most Active
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