What do you think?

Hi guys, I had a support meeting today and the topic was open discussion with our Nutritionist, and a Nurse practicianer (spelling) in psychiatric nursing..... They asked us to discuss how we feel about our weightloss and food ect. So I started off with how my relationship with food has changed and how I think about food (from the moment I wake up until I go to bed and sometimes even in my sleep) all the time and how I love food as mush as sex (I know to much info) She proceeded to tell me that there is something in my past that causes me to have this relationship with food. I don't know if I agree though. I was skinny up through my teenage years...I started putting on weight around 18-20 years old. I did not have a great up bringing but despite that I fell in love with a great man and I think we compliment each other....The weight piled on after we got married and had kids. So I guess what I am trying to say is if there is a cause for my weight then why wasn't I fat when I was growing up? John and I have been married for 20 years and yes there was problems though none were/are major but I was fat and it took surgery to make me skinny? Can you associate your "fattness" with any major thing you were lacking or contribute it to something in your life? I know I am not alone with my feelings about food....I know we all have problems and we can all say "this is the reason for such and such...but do you really believe you eat to make up for something you are lacking? I feel like these ladies who both probably weighed 150 lbs combined total can't understand what it is like to be US even though thewy both suffered from anorexia...Tell me what you think? Looking forward to replies so I can ponder your thoughts... Hugs Chris

Chris, I totally understand where you are coming from. I wasn't fat until about the same time as you. Mine was brought on by sheer laziness combined with depression and boredom. I can't say that there was any one thing that caused it for me it was a combination of things that I could have dealt with and didnt. I can't really say that I think much about food though until I am almost famished, this is usually at work when I am too busy to think about anything other than veins though But I agree that those that havent had a problem with their weight will never understand what we have dealt with and will till the end of our lives, THEY dont get it and would rather blame something in our lives as a reason for the behaviors that we have. I wish they could just be fat for a few years to know what we have and will always deal with mentally and physically!! Steph

Good question, Chris. I was not heavy until after I had gotten married either. I don't associate my weight gain with anything in my past. I grew up got married stopped being as active as I was in my school years. I had to go to work and I ate like a normal person..I just think it was because I've never been real active and with age came weight gain. The more diets I went on the more weight I gained. Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore and had surgery to "help" me with my problem. I think most Doctors want to blame something or someone for our "failure" when in reality it's us...not them. This may not be true for everyone..but for me I think it is. Hugs, Anna

Chris~ wow what a post! Well I am going to make a tough story short. I lost my mom when I was young and dad didnt want me and was bounced around from foster home to foster home. I have been overweight all my life...I think my addiction to food was making up for a good family life and feels of abandonment. As far as the girls with the anorexia...they obviously have issues they are struggling with or they wouldnt have the eating disorders either. I wouldnt wish either "fattness" or anoreixa on anyone. Ok I am gonna end this since its a touchy subject for me not to mention painful, and I am making no sense. Those are my thoughts on it tho. Suzette

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ... it's all someone or something else's fault, something traumatic that happened in the past, a huge trigger event BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH FREANKIN BLAH. How could they stay in business if everybody accepted personal responsibility. I like to eat, it makes me feel good. Do I have a messed up history - of course every person on this earrth does! I met my hubby when I was 17, started getting fat around 20. Got comfy and secure and said to heck with the rest. Now, 18 years later I want to be healthy so here I am ... oh yeah getting fatter by the day I think the past can have an effect on you BUT it is what you choose to let it or make it be! God Bless! Jen

I know some people do get fat because of things in their past. I always have felt I didn't have any big problems...I just got fat because I was married, became inactive, and love to eat...not anything else. Sometimes it bothers me when others say there HAS to be a reason...I don't really think so. Maybe our husbands were too accepting of us regardless of our weight...let's just blame it on our MEN! Karla

Great post, Chris! I agree with Jen...society never wants to accept responsibility for what goes on our lives. Yes, some people DO have tragic events in thier lives, and some DO gain weight during that time. I don't think it ever starts out as "turning to food for comfort". I think it gets like that over time. I know when I'm having a bum day, I eat...but I eat because I'm in the friggin house and just don't give a hoot. Also, I still love food. I know how to eat a little better (sometimes), but in general I just really enjoy the taste of food. Not to ruffle any feathers, and this isn't meant to attack anyone, but I think those that have this "I hate food" mentality after WLS are the ones that need professional help because obviously something else is going on thier lives. When I was SMO, I was just greedy....plain and simple. I had a good upbringing, I wasn't molested, I had both parents growing up....nothing tragic happened to me during my childhood...I was just greedy!!! Why can't we just love food and be normal??!! April

I started to put on my weight when I was about 8... about the third grade. I always kind of wondered if something happened to me then, that my subconcious blocked, that "caused" me to eat more, play less, gain the weight. I don't know... still don't know. There is a little rif between my mom and I, and sometimes I wonder if it isn't resentment in some form from her "letting" me get fat. She was the parent, she should have been in "control" of me... which is really funny, because now, I complain about her trying to be controlling. Anyway... I really, in my heart, don't think I "blame" anyone, it was just a mix of bad metabolism, bad genes, and general laziness. Even though I was quite active... My mom even took me to diet and nutrition classes at the tender age or 13... But what I know now, that I didn't know then, was that my body doesn't process carbs well... and back then, I lived off of carbs, and very little protien... I ate tons of rice & pasta and kept it as lowfat, and little protien as I could... I was only hurting myself and defeating my purpose. I even went through a bout of bulemia... which I blame on no one but pure peer pressure... I did it to myself, just wanting to be "normal"... It is easy to point fingers, but when you take a real hard look at where you were and what you were doing, it is easier to see where lifestyle changes are mostly to blame. Just my opinion, based on my own experiences... Angela

I was fat all my life. I remember being put on my first diet at age 5. And to answer your question, yes I know what made me overeat, even at the age of 5 or before. I was growing up and out in a very unhappy household. My parents divorced when I was six after many years of fighting and unhappiness. I stayed out of the mess by eating, ane eating and eating. And this is how I learned to deal with every emotion. I must have tried every diet that was ever invented, including pills and shots, and fasting. And lost and gained ofer 1,000 pounds in my lifetime. So now, I really have to be careful. When I get upset, or angry or just bored I go straight to the kitchen. And I have to stop that or this surgery will not be sucessfull in the long run. I am working on it but it is the hardest part of this whole process.