Help! My day yesterday....OT and long

Some of you may or may not remember that my mother and I had a huge falling out last May and we haven't seen each other or spoken to each other since. Well yesterday I went to the mall with Hanna and there she was. I don't know why I didnt keep walking but i went over to her. It was a very awkward and emotional moment for all of us, we hugged, and cried, and then the words started to fly. It wasn't a screaming match by any means, but we both said some things we have been feeling, I was way better behaved than I normally would have been because Hanna was there, but one thing she said that got my blood boiling was that she claimed grandparents have rights and she knows because she contacted a lawyer. I don't believe her of course, but cant find any proof otherwise. To lay a little background, my mother has never been a good parent...she allowed terrible things to happen to me and my sisters when we were small, and then packed and moved off to florida when we were young teens. She was never there for us, my dad did it all. Now I know that no judge in their right might would grant her visitation, she has no strong bond with Hanna, and has a terrible history that would sink herself for sure, but why can't I find anything about what the LAW says? I was so angry that she would be so stupid to say such a thing in front of Hanna and my response was simply, "until we have a healthy relationship, Hanna would not benefit in any way from visiting you". We have agreed to sit and talk either alone or with a mediator, I think I am ready to move on...but that comment left me wondering....to feel the need to threaten me? I don't know if I should reconcile if this is who I am dealing with...I just don't know. I guess I am venting mostly, but also really wanted to know if any of you have experience with such a thing or know any lawyers that could tell me what the law in NYS is regarding grandparents and visitation. Thanks for listening and for any advice or input. Karyn

Karyn first let me send you a big ((((((HUG))))))) then I hate to tell you this but NY state law does have grandparents rights. I have a friend who's son fathered a child and his new wife wants nothing to do with the child(Sam) well the "old girlfriend" said he couldn t see the child for that reason and neither could his family. So my friend took her to court and now has Grandparent visitations...So I am sorry it is not what you want to hear....I feel for you and understand what you are going through because I too have a horrible relationship with my mother and I know the need for that kind of love. I think you give that extra love to Hanna like I give the extra love to my kids...Maybe talking with your mother one on one will help but then make your decision after..not before, Hope I helped! Love, Chris

I send you a big hug also. I have always heard that grandparents have right in many states, but i am not sure. I don't think any judge would grant vivitaion rights to a Geandmother who was never there for her own children, but the laws are goofy sometimes. I will keep you in my prayers, I am very fortunate to have parents who were very loving and supportive in anything I ever decided to do all my life May God Bless You, Rosemary

Karyn, God bless you. I know nothing about NY law. However, your mother is evil. She is not interested in a relationship with you or your daughter. She just wants to continue to hurt you. She threatened you. And your daughter. I agree, you or your daughter will not benifit from a relationship with her. It is just going to be about "her" and you already know how that story goes. Just walk away and let it go. If she makes contact, be civil and let it go. I do know things take a long time in the legal system AND they cost money. Both might detour her. You are a great mother and have Hanna's best in your heart. Your mother cannot say the same. Teresa

Oh karyn, I'm so sorry this happened. How awful for you and Hannah. Just tell her to "Go and pay a lawyer if she must." Don't worry she won't get very far, and you can play her bluff and contact Legal Aide to see if in fact your state has any "grandparent laws" on their books. It may make you feel better. Hope you have a better evening. Sending hugs, Ronna

So sorry you are going through this kind of crap..... Big huggs to ((((__)))) Tori

Karyn, (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) - When my mom died, her ex-husband called and threatened to sue me for custody of my brother ans sister. I told him to go for it and when I got on the stand, I would win an Emmy Award for the show I would put on. I would expose every dirty rotten infraction he ever committed. I told him the name of the attorney I hired to handle mom's estate and if any further contact was to be made it needed to be done through the atty. I never heard form the SOB again. You can threaten back - and make her play by your rules. Do whatever you have to to protect Hanna from harm or potential harm - that is about all the wisdom I have for the situation. God Bless! Jen and baby Faith