Did I do the right thing?

Ok I need opinions and perhaps advice.... My daughter Brittany is 16 and a senior in high school. She is athletic and plays both Varsity volleyball and softball and does indoor track. By no means do I believe she is the best player on any of the teams but she is a great kid and works very hard. Never takes time off and works just as hard as everybody else. With that said her volleyball coach is a mean woman and never compliments the girls and is just really a hard woman. Anyway, there are two girls on the team that are the athletic directors daughters and yes they are good but they are rude and feel because daddy is the coaches boss they can speak and do what they want and have no consequences..... One time the coach said to one of them "if you can't respect me on the court go sit down" So the girl went and sat down! Then she started in the game the next day. My daughter is very respectful but does not always get to play and when she does she gives it her all. Well, one of four of her favorite girls were asked to go and text message the male assistant coach and ask him to go to a party the team was having and the girl used the coaches cell phone to do this. While waiting for the assistant coach to reply she chose to go through the cell phone and came out and told everyone there were sexual comments on there between the coach and the assistant and they are both married. well the other three girls want to confirm this so they went in a snooper in the coaches office to read the text messages and came out and shared with the team what they read. (Supposedly confirming this) My daughter and several other's were not involved...I told my daughter how wrong it was what these girls did and how it doesn't matter if it is true because the coach is an adult and it was a personal matter involving her and her husband. I also explained that if it isn't true how many lives could be effected regarding this rumor..I had several parents talk about it during games and such and everyone agreed that the girls were the one in the wrong and that is what counted. On Saturday I was having a discussion with the coach (I didn't tell her because i do not like her but because I felt it was the right thing to do) and explained to her what was going on and who was involved and she said she would handle it. That brings us to today.My daughter left for volleyball with her head held high and called me 10 minutes ago stating the coach reamed them out and said she knows who is involved and wants these girls to come forward a confess. She was crying and told the girls how hurtful it was to tell her husband what was rumored to be going on and how ashamed of them she is. She gave the girls 24 hours to come forward and then left the room. They all turned on my daughter and said I can't not believe you told your parents. None of us did...(Wrong because several parents brought it up to me) Brittany left to go to the bathroom and she was crying and the coach was in the hall and Brittany said "I am so sorry you have to go through this and i want you to know I was not involved and my Mom did the right thing by telling you. The coach thanked her and then Brittany called me. I told her to keep her head up because she did nothing wrong and those four girls were the ones in the wrong. What do you think and how would you have handled this? ~~hugs and well wishes~~ Chris

I am going to start with it doesn't matter if you handled it right or not, you did what you thought was morally right, hard to find in this day and age. Now you need to find a way to get your daughter thru this. No matter what the situation, this age is hard. I had a similar situation in high school myself. Just tell your daughter to keep her head up and when the other girls start to point fingers again, to stand up for herself. Have her tell them to stop calling the kettle black (this will make them think, they probubly don't know what it means) and then say her Mom had heard it from other parents, that is why you stepped forward. Believe it or not, this does work. But she has to act like she doesn't care what they day, she can't show weakness, they will use it against her. That is all you can do at this time. Luck

It's really hard to be a teenager isn't it. You did what you felt you had to do. Unfortunately Brittney is going to get alot of grief from the no-goodnicks. You're right to tell her that she did nothing wrong and to hold her head high. What the other girls did was a terrible thing and they are the one's who should be ashamed of themselves and if I were the coach would be kicked right off the team.