Few more Questions for Thesis

Has anyone dealt with internalized anger due to years of obesity, i.e., you're more on edge now, and are angry with the fact that people treat you so much different now that you've lost weight than prior? Also, have any of you discriminated against other obese individuals, i.e., "Gee, at least I am not that fat, or at least I don't have all my weight in the (butt, gut or wherever else), or if you've seen someone obese and they are downing a huge meal and you've made a judgement. I know this happens, because I hate to say I've done it myself but it's the honest truth. I guess Obesity has it's darkest ugly side to it that are the residual effects of being discriminated/stigmatized that we internalize it all and sometimes become angry. Anywho, just needed to see if this was something I really need to focus in on with my thesis, all help will be appreciated. Thanks Kelli

I feel this is an excellent point, Kelli. I'd be very pleased to see your results when completed. I don't feel smug around people who are heavier than me at all (after all, these are 'my people' and beloved to me-- I still feel great kinship with my obese sisters-in-arms).And at 190-- I'm not exactly petite! However, I do have strong reactions to the way a friend of mine feeds her children (and mine when we're together). I hate what she offers and when she offers it--how important the food is--using it for compliance, etc... It didn't bother me before (didn't really even notice) but now it really strikes a nerve. I'm puzzled and sometimes ashamed of my critical reactions (though I keep them to myself). She is an excellent mom and person yet this really upsets me now----hmmmmm?!?! Cathy

Great question Kelli. I hate to admit that I did say things like that when I was heavier. ie: If I ever get "that" big you better tell me! Or wow did you see him/her eating all that cake or ice cream whatever it was. Now I look at obese people and wonder if they know there is help out there for them... I'm more sympathitic with there situation. I know it was a terrible way for me to act. I think it's because we don't want to believe we were as "big" as "them". I haven't internalized anger for my obesity. Anna

Thank you so much for answering my questions. I wanted to throw them out there to see if I am on a target with some of the things we go through. We have to admit being obese, going through surgery has a great emotional affect on our attitudes towards ourselves and others. Again, Thank you for taking the time and answering...hopefully otherrs will answer as well. Kelli

I hate to admit that I have had the thoughts or made the comments to my sister, 'if I ever get that big....' Having gone through surgery and lost the weight and had so many reactions to my weightloss, including people wanted to know what I did, with whom and how they or a family member could do it, that my attitude and thoughts have changed. I think beore it was a defense mechanism. I had a problem but it was as big as 'that persons'. Now I find myself wanting to go to someone and tell them about my experience and enlighten them to the possibilities that are out there. Reading one of the other replies about feeding children, I am so there!!! I am a teacher and it horrifies me to see what kids are eating. I don't think I am angry now about comments I get now, the only anger I have felt is with my mom and 'why didn't you educate me better?'. Why didn't anyone say anything to me when I was in middle school and heavier then anyone in my class? Why didn't anyone say anything when I continued to gain weight in high school and college. well...my dad did, but it was the 'you really need to work on your diet. what are you doing for your diet'. Never anyone saying...here's some information. This is why it's bad. Why are you over eating? What's behind it? Of course what really gets me is looking at picture of when I was in high school now and realizing...I really didn't look that bad then. I always felt overweight, but now that I look at those pictures, I looked alright. I had cute little black dresses and looked good. Why didn't I ever know that then???