my body image is out of control

My Body Image Original Post by Stacy Lough at 7:00 PM PST on 03/24/2006 Atascadero, CA - (01/18/2005) My body image is so much different than I expected. I sometimes wake up and feel the same as I did before surgery. I cant believe that my bottom fits into those size ten jeans. They are so small. I feel like I have to turn sideways to get through isles in the market or restaurants. any one else waiting for that little kid to say, Hey mom look at that lady! Men look at you differently. But in my mind, I feel that they are thinking, what a cow. Please let me know if anyone is feeling this way. I am at measurements 38-30-38. Wanting it to go smaller. Huggsss :hugs:

Stacy I am right there with you. Everyone says, don't get any smaller. But in my mind I am still 312 lbs. Will we ever get past this? I don't know. Maybe its the scare in us that we may gain it back, I wonder. I have been heavy all my life and this is so new to me. Rhonda 312/168/155?

Thank you for writing this...I felt alone and tried to post something about this a little over a week ago...felt kind of ignored to be honest. I don't know what to do. I am 250 now...and at 6' that's not too bad (compaired to the 470 I used to be). I feel inbetween worlds now. Accepted in one that wouldn't before, and avoided in the other that used to accept me..in other words, all the fat girls who used to be sweet and sympathetic to me before avoid me, and the skinny people who wouldn't talk to me, are doing so now. I am also, according to the BMI chart obese, but I've always been a really strong person (lots of muscle weight) and thank goodness I had the male pattern fat (apple shape) which kept me moving, even at my heavest. Now, I see hips and a waist, and my H cup boobs have shrunk down to a C. I love dressing in tight jeans (mostly to keep down the jiggle in the thighs), but sometimes the looks from guys makes me feel strange, since I'm not used to it. I am shocked for a moment each time I see my reflection. I have not yet adjusted to the size of my shadow...I grip the bed as if I cannot lift myself, because I forget that I can now. I think I've gotten past the "I look so cute in this or that" and wish to gain understanding in the way my life is now. I no longer need priority seating at school..the normal desks are fine..so are the bathroom stalls, lol. I don't have to wait for the driver to lower the bus in order for me to climb on...all these things and more are wonderful...it's the emotional things that I'm trying to figure out.

Hi Stacy. I definitely understand what you're saying. My mind hasn't even come close to catching up with my body yet. Things went so fast and I haven't adjusted mentally to that I guess. I know in my head that I wear a size 8, but the reality of that just doesn't seem possible. Some days I wake up and feel great about myself and other days I wake up and feel like I'm still HUGE! Someone from the boards here once said "I will always have a 328lb woman sitting on my shoulder" and I have remembered reading that forever b/c it rang so true to me and how I feel inside. I hope these feeling will pass for all of us soon so that we can truly be happy with ourselves and embrace all of the good things that wls has brought to our lives! I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to have this surgery and really live my life to the fullest again~I just want to make sure I enjoy my success every single day! Hugs, Tracy B 328/156 5'9"

Hi Stacy!! I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one feeling this way!! Sometimes I wake up in the morning and expect to be 261 pounds again!! I think our minds need to still catch up with our weight loss. I thank God everyday for having given me this opportunity to have a healthier and happier life. But I do still wonder if I'll suddenly start gaining the weight back and won't be abel to stop it!!! I sometimes think that this is all a dream and it's going to all come to an end. I just had a TT on March 6 and keep asking my plastic surgeon if I should have more work done. He's been assuring me that I'm fine. But I still keep giving myself a second look in the mirror. Almost as if to say, you are still really obese!!! I'm just glad that we have each other to support us and we can come together at OH. I know what you mean to about the clothes, I used to wear a tight 3X and am now wearing between a size 8-10. People do treat me differently too. Isn't it sad to know that some may not have been treating us well because we were obese? Have a wonderful weekend and take care!!!! Hugs and aloha, Pat