My update!

OK, you guys know that I have been plataued for almost a month and I was SURE that I was not gonna lose anymore. Well, I guess I was wrong. As of friday I am down another 2 pounds, taking my total lost to 105#. *smiles* However, I do not WANT to lose anymore (except for losing the extra skin) so even though I am thankful for the additional weight lose, I am not really looking to lose more. KWIM? I feel like such a slug today, not to mention I am getting sick, but I was unable to work out friday b/c the gyms were all closed and the post gyms are now closed on Saturdays perminantly, so I have not done my weights for the end of the week. ICK! I know Monday is gonna bring some pain since I just went up on most of my weights and now I have had too many days off from them. Anyways, I will live with it cuz I actually like exercising now! Weird how things change like the do, huh? So my weekly pros & cons have been: Pros: *I now fit into a size 4 jeans!!! HOLY FREAKING COW!!!!! *Taking a hike and just walking for the heck of it and discovering that I had already gone over 6 miles in record time! *Having boundless sexual energy! YES! LOVE IT! *Making new friends and crossing boundaries I never had the nerve to do before! Cons: *Having boundless sexual energy and no job... it's hard to be home all day when hubby has to work! LOL! *The extra skin is really starting to bother me, especially when shopping, more than I thought in the past! *Going through inner and outer changes and having to defend those changes. *Feeling alien in my own body and mind (when the hormones and levels get all wacko). So I am actually looking forward to the holidays. How about the rest of you? Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/152/146 BMI- 44.1/26.1/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -105 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

Hey Jamie! I'm there with you. I have lost 134 pounds. I now weigh 125. I am 5'5 1/2" (can't forget the 1/2") I am wearing a size 4. My husband says I wear doll clothes. I went to a store yesterday and tried on 2's and they fit, but tight in the waist. I wish I could get plastics. I never thought my hanging boobs would bother me, but that bothers me the most. I don't like the Sharpei look to my thighs and lower abdomen either! The emotional changes have been the most difficult for me. When I look in the morror, I see a very different face looking back at me. It's a face I really don't recognize. It isn't round any more. I have angles and cheek bones and a jaw bone. When I look in the morror and see myself wearing smaller clothes, I still do not comprehend that I am a smaller size...if that makes any sense! I've also noticed at work that the normal weight or skinny co-workers tell me I am too thin, but the obese co-workers tell me to ignore them and that I look fine. I feel like I could use putting on a couple of pounds though. On the very bright side, since my last endoscopy with dilation (my 6th), I have been keeping food down and I am finally consistently eating 1000 calories a day. So my weight loss has slowed way down. I haven't been exercising that much lately. I wanted the weight loss to slow down. But I also find that I have periods of intense energy followed by feeling very tired. Sometimes in the same day! Sometimes I think I've lost my mind totally. Congrats on the weight loss and feeling so good about it. It's been a long hard road. Dianne

Thanks Diane, I appreciate your support! You know, you are definitly not the only one here afraid of losing too much! I know a few folks who have already lost too much in their won opinions and that is what scares me. I don't want to go to the other extreme, so I do sabotage my own diet from time to time and go ahead and cheat a little. I laughed my butt off about the sharpei reference... that is exactly how I feel! Of course my breasts are also one of my biggest issues about myself now. I had image issues when it came to my breasts when I was big (they were B cups so I was unproportioned for my body size all of my life) and now they have completely diasappeared! I am not talking when I lay down, they migrate to the pits... no mine are COMPLETELY and utterly flat! If I hang myself forwars they are empty flesh sacs.... it is so humiliating. I don't feel like a woman because of it. I use falsies, padded pushups and the whole nine yards. It is a production to get dressed everyday! I think that is why I have gone so crazy overcompensating. I have always been a tom boy and kinda gothy.... now my friends call me the Old Navy Pagan b/c I am always wearing trendy clothes, overdressing sometimes, or wearing colors that were previsously foreign to me! LOL! Actually right now I am addressing some of this with my friends who think that the old me is gone and that they miss her. (Long Story) Shoot, I went through a huge transformation, and you know what, new body deserves new clothes and since I am so bright and cheery most of the time, my wardrobe has changed to reflect that. It is such a huge difference from the depressed person I used to be! KWIM? Anyways, it seems like my skinny friends think I should lose a bit more and my heavier friends all think I have lost too much... so I have quite the opposite from you in that arena. I just tell people what I am comfortable with and that is fine and I try to change the subject b/c honestly, I am tired of hearing it. I will stop losing when my body is ready to, know what I mean? I know I am happy where I am at and I really don't want to lose more, once the skin is cut off and get myself some tatas I will be sooo stinky happy, I will be doing cartwheels! (Well, after I heal.) Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/152/146 BMI- 44.1/26.1/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -105 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

I am glad it is goin well for you babe!!! I to know what it is like to want to lose skin not weight Keep your head up

Girl you look fantastic. I know that I would never get to the point to don't want to loose more but I guess that must be the same felling as not loose nothing at all. I am in a happy medium right now lol. You are doing a great job, and I love you profile. hugs from Germany Umarmungen von Deutschland Vanessa

Thank you so much sweetie! I too NEVER thought I would be in this place but I guess I secretly thought that all these years of saying I had big bones, that I was wrong and that a skinny frail girl laying under the fat... but alas... I really do have BIG BONES and a HUGE frame! So if I were to lose any more from this point I would feel like a freak! If it wasn't for the extra skin I'd have bones poking out all over the place, right now the skin is draping me and concealing how skinny I really have gotten! I wear compression garments to help smooth the skin out evenly so it does not look so apparent. I was in the sauna today just wearing my baggy yoga pants (they are a large, I wear a small) and my sports bra (something I NEVER thought I'd have the nerve to do) and I was laying flat on one of the benches. A gentleman who has worked out at the same time I have for the last few months came in and sat on the bench below me. He suddenly asked me if I would mind he said something and not take offense to it. I told him to go ahead and he said, "Are you OK? Do you have a problem eating?" I laughed so hard and sat up and he looked so hurt. I felt bad and had to tell him the story. After we were done talking he laughed along with me. He told me that he watched how much weight I had dropped and how determined I look when I am working out that he though I might have an eating disorder. Especially when he came into the sauna and saw how skeleton-like I looked when lying down with my ribs flaring out like they do. LOL! I explained to him that my rib cage has always been big but they really expanded towards the bottom when I carried my son around for an added 3 weeks! He laughed and said that his wife had the same problem but she was not as skinny as I was so only he noticed that about her. I truly hope that once I have my PS, I will look less freakish and more feminine, you know what I mean? Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/151/146 BMI- 44.1/25.9/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -106 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

Jamie, Thanks for the update!! You should be so proud of all you have accomplished. You have truely inspired alot of us here. Congratulations on the size 4 jeans!!! Take care and keep doing what you are doing!!! Becky P.

Thanks so much sweetie! I have NO IDEA what I am doing, perhaps my body just desides it was not happy as a six! LOL! It is so weird! I am eating wayyyy more than I used to, maybe it is just because I am keeping the metabolism going by eating every three hours. LOL! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/151/146 BMI- 44.1/25.9/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -106 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom