Update from me!

First off... I know I am typically the happy one here cheering everyone on but I have been staying away from the boards b/c I have been battling my own head issues. So I apologize for dropping off the boards for awhile. If you ever want to check up on me, I keep a journal on the net that I update almost daily, it is at LiveJournal.com and you can just follow the link in my signature line! Anyways, I did finally make it to the century club, however I have done nothing but bounce between 157 - 154 for the last month. Its taken me awhile to accept that this is where my body is happy at so I am not stressing about the numbers anymore. I had hoped I would get down past goal so I would have a cushion if I started to gain some back (they say that we will gain 20% back). Anyways.... my head issues have ranged from dealing with strong emotions (that I typically would eat away), to my sex life, to cravings, to getting addicted to exercise and going to far, you name it. One thing that really irks me is there is a series of classes offered by a local hospital to learn how to deal with these issues but they will not let you attend until you are a year out or more! Dang it, I can't wait two more months to learn how to deal with this, I have been battling it on my own for a month already! UGH! So it is through talking with friends and journaling my thumbs off that I have reached a few conclusions... I am actually happy at the weight that I am at but I have to do something about the skin b/c it is a constant reminder, not to mention a nucense! I love sex! Now I have to learn how to dail it back a few notches and learn that I can't have it all of the time! LOL! I still love food and I need to recognize when I am hungry or when I am just eating for some other reason. Oye.... I still have so far to go... One thing that I am completely thankful for, is 90% of the time I am sooo happy and even when I am battling head issues, my life is still good. I no longer look at my life as a chore... i love it! YEAH ME! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/154/146 BMI- 44.1/26.4/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -103 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

Jamie, I just replied to your reply to me, ha ha!! Glad to hear you are back here on the board. It is so hard sometimes because we have come so far and we just want to reach our goals. I guess our bodies have other agendas. The thing we have to remember is that we are so much more healthier now than before WLS. People say this is easy but we all know it is not. It seems as if there is always something else to worry about. Funny thing is you and I have lost about the same weight so far. I also just noticed that we are the same height. Funny that I didn't notice that before. Your goal is alot lower than mine tho. My surgeon set my goal at 160 but I would actually like to get to 150-155. We will have to see what happens. I know what you mean about the extra skin I hate it but I will tell you I would rather have it than the extra weight. That is what I keep telling myself. I also am happy most of the time. I haven't had to much of the emotional stuff lately, except when I had the gain. Other than the gain I am doing very well. I do have my down days here and there. Okay just take care and know that we missed you here!!! Becky P. 271/167.5/160

Hey Becky, Oh yeah, our bodies definitly have their own agenda! I plataeued and then gained and lost like a yo-yo in the last few months. It has been so weird. Then I reached a point where all I did was gain and I was doing everything right. That is about the time my trained banned me from the gym until I went to talk to a therapist about misplacing my addiction to food with exercise. (Neither of which either person thought was healthy.) Yeah we have lost about the same amount of weight, haven't we? I just had a lower starting point from most of the people on this board. I was a "lightweight" by most folks standards (except my own of course). Thing is my surgeon refused to set a goal or crunch numbers with me (or any of his patients) for that matter. It is his philosophy that we will lose weight until our bodies decide to stop. As long as we lose at a regular rate and do not go too low, he is happy. His main goal is to give us a healthy start at life again, he hates to give us number to strive for b/c he doesn't want to give us even more head issues. So he tells us that aiming for a healthy BMI is a reasonable goal. So I did my research and most charts say that 25 is the high end of a healthy BMI for someone who is 64" (5'4") and who has a medium to large body frame. Of course now that I am down to this weight I should probably measure my boney areas again and see if my guess on my body frame was correct. LOL! Anyways, I told myself that if I lost 100# I would be happy and you know what, I pretty much am... just the extra skin bothers me. Speaking of skin, I am actually doing a lot better on the bounceback front than I expected although I still have more than I thought I did... lol... my advice for anyone out there who are not sure if PS is the way they want to go..... make a decision after you research but before you have a consult! I went with a friend for hers and I was joking with the surgeon about me being luckier than her that I did not have that much skin... he was like... "I bet you have more than you think!" So I dared him to find it.... he had the time so he had me put on a gown and asked me where I thought I needed work and he started lifting, tugging, and pulling and OH MY GODDDD!!!!! I knew I had skin but I thought I'd be fine with the circumfrential cut and maybe my arms... oh was I so wrong! LOoks like I am gonna have to go total body lift... holy cow... now that it has been brought to my attention I focus on it all the darn time! I always had a flat booty so now that my booty is still flat I figured that is the way I was ment tio be... nope, my arse has just fallen! LOL! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/154/146 BMI- 44.1/26.4/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -103 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

Hi Jamie! I know exactly what you mean. I just saw my surgeon last week Friday and he told me that I basically had 4 more months to lose weight. He told me after February, it would be pretty hard to lose anymore. I started out at 261 pounds, and am currently stuck at 162 pounds. I know that I have accomplished a lot, but I am still not sure if I can accept the fact that I may not reach my goal weight which is 125 pounds. Originally my goal was 115 pounds. My doctor told me that if I could get down to 140 pounds he thought that would be great. Well to start with I'm only 5 feet tall so at 140 pounds, I consider myself still too heavy for my height. But I guess compared to 261 pounds, it's a big improvement. In addition I no longer have the diabetes, high blood pressure and cholestrol problems. I'm also noticing the saggy skin on my arms and stomach area, and after seeing the actual surgeries on the Discovery Channel don't feel that I would want to subject myself to that. But then how are we supposed to deal with the fact that we may not reach our goal, plus now we have this excess skin that is not going to go away? I had lap rny on January 10, 2005 just a few days before you, and wonder if others have gone through this dilema at about 9 months post op. Well, I guess I should just be thankful that I was given a chance to shed the weight that I have so far. Have a wonderful weekend! Aloha, Pat 261/162/125

Girl you need to update your profile, it still says you have a 31 BMI... You are doing awesome girl! Yeah at one year out we are supposed to be out of our "honeymoon" period. Although I think my honeymoon period ended last month b/c now when I fall off the bandwagon I can gain up to 4-5 pounds! I know I don't have the "restriction" that most of you still have. My pouch is normal size now. It's done it's stretching. I can eat almost a whole cup of cottage cheese before I feel full (not that I am doing that regularly, but I tried it one afternoon just to test the waters). So I know now, I have to be disciplined and watch what I am putting into my mouth. I can also eat a totally normal diet... I can have almost up to 30g of sugar at once without dumping too... so it is REALLY important that I continue to journal, continue to watch what I eat and just enjoy life and not get obsessed or start emotional eating again. Witht he skin, I know I need it removed, not as much for looks persay but for comfort. I am not comfortable in this skin. I hate how my clothes fit, finding clothes is harder now than when I was fat. I am a 4 in meaurments but can't wear a four because of the extra skin on my thighs.... I am sure that you've noticed that in the smaller sizes the pants legs get so dang slim! So I wear a 5 or 6. I also have extra skin in my entire back so things that don't have sleeves look terrible on me because my skin will lap over the top of the arm holes! It bothers me so much to see my skin pooching everywhere. Also the skin in my sides under my bra line pooch out of my kevlar vest and it gets rubbed raw after only a few hours of wearing it. So THAT has to be delt with. Does anyone else have the smelly belly button problem? I have skin above and below my belly button so it basically closes off to the air and moisture gets trapped. So now I have to shove a cotton ball and bally powder in there and change it out during the day or my BB gets all red, raw and irritated. It sucks. So for me, surgery is an option. At first I did not think so but now that I am there... I am ready to cross that bridge. And like you said, having the health problems gone just brings such joy to my life! So I focus on the accomplishments I reach with that! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/154/146 BMI- 44.1/26.4/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -103 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

to my sexy beast I am glad you are doin better and well everything else will fall into place I am glad to see you back I have missed you

I missed you too you sexy diva you! We need to chat on instant messanger more often! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/154/146 BMI- 44.1/26.4/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -103 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

Jamie, You are doing absolutely AMAZING you hot thing! Also you are dealing witht he same demons as the rest of us, you are not alone. I agree with you that the skin causes the big hang up. I just bought 2 skirts for work that are size 2 the other day (no freekin' way!) and I still feel like I am huge, I think that it is the skin for sure. My family thinks that I am taking the workouts too far. I thought that my goal was 130, my doctors is 140, I am at 135 I am really happy about that so I don't really want to lose any more but don't really know how to stop either. I am hoping like you said that my body will quit when it is comforatable. Just know that you are not alone and you are missed when you don't post, you are one of my inspirations. Let us have the good with the bad, let us be there for you and you remind us that we are normal when you have a bad moment. Thanks for being one of my inspirations! Becki 1/18/05 297/135/130?? 5'8"

Oh Becki.... you are doing AMAZING!!!! You have 4 more inches on me and you are already 20+ lower than me!!! AHHHHH... jealous green eyed monster raging... just kidding. I am not trying to compare myself to anyone! That would put me in the nuthouse for sure! Hahahaha.... I can't even imagine a 2 EVER, even after PS (I will be lucky to be in a 4 after surgery) so I think you are doing wonderful! How much exercising are you doing? When my trainer banned me from the gym I was going wayyy too far... let's see I was doing the elliptical and the treadmill 6 days a week for at least 30-45 minutes, I was running 1 mile every night, I was swimming 3 days a week for an hour, 3 days a week for water aerobics, 5 days a week I was doing Tae Kwon Do, road marching once a week, weights 3 days a week, and doing sit ups and push up every day. Yeah, I was going overboard, all I had time for was school and working out. NUTS, I say, nuts! So now I go to the gym 6 days a week but I only do cardio for 30 minutes and I hit the weights too, 3 days upper body, 3 days lower body. I am trying to do body building per say.... I tried to pick up a 100# weight the other day and realized that I couldn't... it dawned on me how weak I really became. This scared the hell out of me b/c in law enforcement (I plan on attending an academy in the next 6 months... I need to move first) you need to be able to lift a body if you need to, if I can't lift a 100# weight, how am I going to be able to help my partner if they get shot?! So now my new trainer and I are working on a different program to build muscular strength and endurance. So Monday I start the new program and I am back to doing the yucky shakes... according to my nutritionist my protein intake is fine but my trainer feels it is too low since my lean muscle mass is VERY much lacking right now and I am looking to build more! So it is back to getting over 100g a day. ICK! At least I learned the whole adding low carb ice-cream to the shakes to make them thicker and more like a treat instead of medicine! LOL! BTW- love the tatt! I want to go get my new one soon. I should probably go talk to my artist this weekend! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/154/146 BMI- 44.1/26.4/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -103 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney

Jamie, After spending lots and lots of money on different protein shakes that I could not stomach I found Diet Resolution Protein Maximum from GNC. It tastes like Nesquick (yum) no medicine taste at all and one scoop which is 20 g disolves easily in 4 oz of water! This is great for me because I have such a problem with solid food and drink very slowley. The most important thing is that it tastes awesome! I am running 5-7 miles about 3 times a week, I have cut back because my surgeon is not too happy with my rapid progress. Also I do Windsor Pilates about 5 times a week. I do the ab, bun & thigh, back and upper body workouts. They are each 20 minutes so I am done in an hour and a half. I have noticed a real difference in my skin since I started the Pilates about 6-8 weeks ago. I had a p/s consult and he feels that the skin will never entirely go away on its own due to the speed of my loss. I should probably join a gym and start some kind of weight training program but right now I really enjoy the running and the pilates. Congrats on the academy, I wish I had your courage, I would love to do something differnet with my life but I really don't know what or how to go about it. Hugs, Becki 1/18/05 297/135/130?? 5'8"