Lots of changes...

Thanks Jamie I appreciate your reply and advice! It means alot and I'm so happy that you guys have been able to work through all of that. I agree, communication is very important which we have been doing. He knows exactly how I feel about us. Even with going to therapy he still shows no desiire to try new things with me. He just wants to stay home and sometimes has a problem when I go out with friends. It's such a hard place to be right now. It will take time I know but I'm feeling impatient anymore. I've been locked up for so long and need to be let loose and finally enjoy life. Thanks again for listening and offering your advice I do appreciate it! Congrats on your weight loss too!!! Way to go Deanna

Ahhh... I see. I guess I am lucky then since my hubby has finally "got it" and realized that I am gonna go out and do things he doesn't like to do but I spend equal time doing things he likes to do. Like he loves paintball, so I play with him now. However he hates the club scene, so I go with the girls! He used to get jelous a little bit, but now I have turned it into a bit of *ahem* a game when I get home if you know what I mean. Now I "confess to my deeds" when I come home from the club and he loves it... hehehe...

I am so glad to hear somebody else feels this way.....I have been feeling anxious and restless. I have a new found confidence that I've never had before, but I've put my energy in shopping, going to the spa, etc. But, it's got me wondering if I am not TRULY happy, do I settle for what I have because it's comfortable.

Hi Elaina, I am sorry you're going through these feelings too. It's not easy. I wish you lots of luck! Just take it one day at a time and remember communication is so important. It isn't easy to say exactly how you feel when you care about someone but honesty is crucial to the both of you. Hang in there! Deanna

I am so blessed that my DH and I are so alike, and that he just had the surgery, too. However, I can understand how you feel about wanting more excitement and going dancing, etc. Ask him to mentally picture what it would be like to go dancing with you, and to express it verbally. You may be surprised. It could be many things: fear of actual dancing(looking silly), jealosy, fear of crowds( I HATE hot, sweaty crowds). Maybe suggest going to a casino or club first, or jus****CH the dancing. No pressure. Try a vacation. Men will often try things on a vacation that they wouldn't normally try at home. Good Luck! Lou Ann

I too have had some of these problem and thoughts. My hubby went through heart surgery just 2 weeks before I had my surgery and I thought great now we will both be getting well and take on the world. Well I have he hasn't. He just want to stay home and be married to the TV. I talked to his DR the other day and he said that he thought that my hubby was depressed. With all the changed in his life that he wasn't able to face them and wasn't sure where to go from here so he was just hiding inside. He is going to start him on med this week and see if that helps. Just a thought maybe your hubby is depressed and just unsure how to handle all the changes that not only you but also he has gone through. Good Luck and hope this might help. Peggy

Hi Peggy, Thanks for your input! I do wish you and your hubby well and hope things turn around for you. I do wish that depression is the answer as that can be dealt with. He is just a homebody..likes to be home and watch movies. He isn't sociable and I use to not be either but all that has changed. Thanks again and good luck!!! Deanna