Fear of Food

My RNY was 1/05/2005 I am down almost 90 pounds. I still have about 45 more to go. In the beginning I could only eat tiny amounts of food and even now on most days I can only eat 2oz at a time depending on the density of the food. I have a hard time with meats and dense foods. However, some days I can eat more than on others. I am finding myself afraid of food. I am afraid to eat because I don't want to stop loosing weight or worse yet gain weight. I hate to admit it but sometimes If I think I have eaten more than I should or something I should not eat I will make myself throwup. I am afraid of eating and also afraid of moving to the other end of the eating disorder spectrum from over eating to not allowing myself to eat or maintain what I eat.

Oh Sandra, I can only speak for myself but I too have had similar thoughts from time to time but fortunately for myself, I have no gag reflex so I am unable to make myself throw up. Trust me this is a good thing and a bad thing, once when I swollowed a piece of chewing gum right after surgery, I knew I had to get it back up and quick, but I was unable to. I was in the ER 20 minutes later having it fished out. UGH! Anyways, the point is that I have not followed through with those thoughts. Wether it was by choice or by an inability, I have not made myself throw up after eating. However, these thoughts were strong enough for me to seek help. It sounds like perhaps it is time that you talk to someone before it becomes a problem. Admitting and sharing with us is definitly a first step. Did you speak with someone before surgery? Perhaps, it is time to make an appt. with them again. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you might have a problem and seeking help from someone with the proper training. Good luck sweetie! Big hugs from me! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/168/146 (+4 lbs. this week) BMI- 44.1/28.8/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -89 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

Jamie, Thanks so much for the response. I've shared my concerns with a close friend who is a social worker. I really do need to make an appointment to talk to someone. Meeting with a counselor was a pre-op requirement. Maybe I will give her a call. Thanks again