My Dad told me that I caused another Sunami!!!

Hello all.... This is the first post on this message board for me, for that I am sorry. I want to thank each and every one of you that are on here. Your words of encouragement and support are priceless!!! I have really struggled with the WLS emotionally. Actually I feel lost with it. I have currently lost 85 lbs and thankfully have had no problems with food and eating. I guess my competitive nature feels like its not good enough. I don't feel anything different. I still see me the same way. This week was just horrible. I am really tired of hearing people tell me that I lost weight the easy way. By losing this weight I still have an imperfect body. Pounds of skin hanging, not too attractive. I had the courage to play volleyball over the 4th. I love the game and in my mind think that I could still play pretty well. Well, I tripped on the boundary rope serving the ball and fell forward scraping my knee. No one saw the fall, only that I was on the ground. I got up and had a huge grass stain on my new pair of capris. Ok, I wasn't hurt, and we had a laugh. But what killed me the most, my family got together last night and we talked about the volleyball games and got into me falling. I was so shocked that my Dad told me that now I will cause another sunami. He got detailed about it and talked for minutes laughing at it. He even wasnt there that day and for him so say something like that after what I have gone thru, I am just blown away. I'm sorry for rambling, and I don't have a point to this. I just feel lousy and lost. Thanks for reading this. Best wishes to all!! Sharon

Sharon, First of all you are doing great with the weight loss!! I have lost 75 pounds so you are ahead of me and I had surgery a day before you. We are all different and we will loose weight differently. Remember that this is okay!! It is not the easy way out!! This is the very reason I haven't told alot of people that I had WLS. I don't want to hear them say this. I might let them have it!! Maybe you should tell your dad how his comment made you feel. People don't understand that this choice we made is for the rest of our lives and we will not be the same again. Yes loosing weight is great but like you said, the hanging skin is not easy to deal with. There are so many things that we have to think of everyday for the rest of our lives. Getting ready to go somewhere takes time to get the water and snacks together. Also the emotional stuff is difficult as well, we never know what the next day will bring. Listen it is okay to ramble on that is what this board is for as well. Just think at least now you are out there playing volleyball. I applaud you for that! Take care and here is hoping that your day gets better!! I hope that this helps you, my rambling that is! Remember that you are not alone!!! Becky P.

Sharon: Your weight loss is fab! I also had surgery the day before you and have lost 68 lbs, so your 85 lb loss is great! Try to focus on your goals--the reasons why you had WLS. Make up non-scale related measurements of success. Compare some pics of yourself now to pics of yourself before WLS. I know that really helps me to "see" my loss. Family can be mean; that's why I haven't told any of mine. Try to focus on you during this time and tune anything out that is not in accordance with your goals or is not encouraging.......

I'm so tickled someone else that rambles and boy can and do I ramble and everyone is so good to me and listens and gives me a hug when I need it so I am sending you a big old ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I so understand what you are saying about not seeing the loss. My head is having a horrible time being at the same place my body is. I look for the little things a ring that I can now ware, a necklace that isn't cutting off the air way any more. the undies that are loose in the set. I know that at times I am looking for big changes and need to see the little ones. As for your dad tell him that he hurt your feelings at that he was rude. He was probly just trying to get some of the attention that you have been getting by losing weight. beside men are just like that they open mouth at insert foot often and don't even know that they are doing it. If you find yourself getting really depressed be sure and ask someone for help, you have a lot on your plate and there is no reason that you shouldn't get help. I know that I had to find someone to talk to that wasn't family and also I now don't go a day with out my meds they just make the world a better place for me. As for the wieght loss we are about even and everyone tells me that was are at the top of the scale for loss. So hang in there honey and drop me a line is you need to talk. Told you I could ramble with the best of them. Peggy 386/299/200

Sharon... he is the one who might have caused the next sunami with an ego that big! Heck, only people with low self esteem make jokes at the expense of their loved ones! I am sorry you had to go through that, especially since I am sure that after an 80+ pound loss you figured those days were behind you. Focus on your accomplishments and not the small mindedness of others. If it is still really bothering you tell him that he hurt you... either in person, by letter or whatever you are comfortable with. If the family doesn't know that you are upset they can't try and change their behavior. It's what I ended up doing and yes I burned soe bridges but I also built some new ones. SKINNY HUGS TO YOU! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/169/146 BMI- 44.1/29/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -88 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney Visit my Live Journal at: livejournal.com/users/magickalmom

Why is it that our parents words can hurt so much worse than others. My mother says harsh things like that-all of my life. They think that they are jut being honest and speaking their mind, but what happened to honesty seasoned with love. Just remind yourself that you are bettering yourself and if he can't see it, that is his problem. You did this for you not him. Nothing that we can say will help block out his harsh words. You should have immediately told him that what he said was mean and hurtful. I just started doing this with my mom and it took her back. If we just sit there and smile or keep quiet they think it is okay. We have to stand up for ourselves because apparently they never did it for us or we wouldn't be where we are today. I send you hugs and tons of encouragement. Just remember you are special and you are making a better life for you and yours. Embrace the new you and just smile at them like you know something they don't--like how great you are looking. The smile and look will drive them crazy! Kady