What are other people thinking?

I've had two situations today that have me wondering how others perceive me and why is it so different than how I perceive myself? A couple of coworkers commented on my weight loss and asked if I was trying to lose more. When I replied that I'd like to lose close to 40 more pounds you should have seen the look of sheer horror on their faces!!! And tonight my hairdresser congratulated me on how good I looked and said that I shouldn't try to lose too much more or I'll look sick. I'm thinking to myself......do you people not see me and that I'm 197 pounds and wear a size 18? I am by no means skinny or even thin. Or is it just me and that I still see an obese person every time I look in the mirror? This is so weird! Mary Ellen 280/255/197/160

Mary Ellen: Here's my opinion, and experience with people like that: This "TYPE" of people take some sort of SICK comfort when around SMO or MO or even overweight people... WHY? I have no idea...they just do. Now, YOU do what YOU want to do, no one should have to remind you of that, and DO NOT LET THEM UPSET YOU or GET U DOWN!!!!! If YOU wanna lose weight, even MORE, then by all means continue what you're doing. If you plan to stop at the weight you feel comfortable, then do so...... I say SCREW what these people think because they DO NOT LIVE YOUR LIFE nor do they HAVE TO GO THRU WHAT YOU'VE GONE THRU TO BE THIS HEALTHY.... These people feel that, if you get SKINNY, they feel threatened, to say the LEAST, and they get standoffish, cold, and downright UGLY when they see you healthier and beautiful! Just shrug it off, don't worry about it and continue being your HAPPY BEAUTIFUL SELF!!!! Congrats on a GREAT JOB!!!!! Beth

Mary Ellen, Ditto what Beth said! You are doing an awesome job and only you will know when you have reached your ideal goal weight. Just know that you have all the love and support of us here and that you earned your place here. Keep shinning! Love and Peace Anne B

Mary Ellen, I get the same thing even my mom! She is very supportive of my weight loss but told me the other day I needed to take a new picture and look at it and I would see I did not need to lose any more weight. I still weigh 190lbs. I think maybe we just look so much better taht they think we look good enough? It is weird but know that you are not the only one. My favorite is "you look so much better!" I guess I looked like crap before? Good luck on your journey!! Kim

I still feel pretty humongous....REALLY humongous.... And at work...I actually had someone ask me how much more I wanted to lose...and when I said "another 40 pounds will do..and then I won't be fat"...she ACTUALLY SAID..."but Sherrill...you are not fat now! You are going to waste away to nothing!"....(PAHHHHLEEEEZZZEE!!!)....Wasting away to nothing has NEVER been an imminent risk for me.......and if I was standing there naked..she AND the world...would know it sure as heck ain't one now either! I am in a 16/18 as well...and my mind has "readjusted" to it..and I now feel as fat and ugly as I did at 272. What a head trip this all is! I also think that some folks in the world...really don't want other women to look "too good"...wait until the comments STOP and then you'll know you are a threat! The head trip part of this journey is as baffling to me as the rest of it....dealing with other people now is also...I have had people pat my belly and say "Geez...you finally got rid of it..." AND GRAB ME....and pull up my short sleeved shirt to see if I had hanging batwings.....I felt VIOLATED....this was at work by a morbidly obese RN....who was actually trying to belittle me in fron of a room full of people in a sly way....it was so unprofessional and a total invasion of my personal space...and on top of that..was done in front of a patient I had just brought up to the unit for admission...... Honey...however neurotic we might be in our struggles....don't feel too bad....the "earth people" are just as loony....if not MORE SO!!!! Hang in there! Sher'

I agree with what everyone else said... however I will add something.... most American's have a really warped image of what healthy looks like.... you either get those folks who think wafer thin models is the "ideal" and then you get those people who are used to seeing the obesity epidemic of the USA and assume that a 16 is "ideal".... we can't seem to win. I two have had both expierences and I can't understand why folks can't just be happy for you instead of offering up their opinion of what is healthy for YOU! Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/182/146 BMI- 44.1/31.2/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -75 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney

Honestly I think this is where the jealousy kicks in weather they would admit it I doubt but I believe thats true. I mean you obvioulsy still overweight and need to lose more and I don't get people either, no one has said crap to me but I've only lost 50lbs. I guess I was so fat that you still can't tell. Being short really sucks cause it take twice as much weightloss to show it! Just tell them clinicly your still overweight and its just the facts. Ask what they weigh I bet they'll quit! Marti

I so don't see it in the mirror - but the photos and sizes aren't lying... I have a friend who is 3 years out and she said it took about 2 years before she became "thin" in the head as well as the body...

Thanks everyone for all of your replies. I have to agree that part of it may be jealousy and part of it is also me not having a secure and "true" image of my body yet. I just plan to keep on working at it and hope the head will eventually catch up to the rest of me! Mary Ellen