4 MONTH CHECK-UP

I HATE MY SURGEN I already have been having a bad time lately and then he is just nasty to me and makes me cry and feel like the worst person on earth. I don't ever want to go back to him. First it isn't even him that I get to see it is some intern, who asks me 30 stupid ? Then gets and attitude when I ask him a few ? With the way I have been feeling lately I start to cry and he just hands me a box of tissues and leaves. I hear him and my surgen talking outside the door and the first thing that this intern says is "be careful she's a cryer" "oh crap I was hoping she would be over that by now" is the answer by my surgen. I think okay I have to do my darnedest to not cry. Well that doesn't work for long. He comes in and I hand him my food and workout log that I have been keeping since a month before surgery and he looks at it and says "what do I need this for" I thought it might help. He then starts to ask me the same ? that the intern did and I say if either of you had taken the time to look at my log you would have most of your answers. I tell him what I am doing and how I am feeling and he tells me that I need to see a nutrisionist and a counsler. He then tells me that I am eating all wrong and to much and to often and if I don't change this now I will fail. He also tells me that the nausa and diahria that I have all the time is normal and may or may not go away. The only positive thing that he said in the whole visit that my 63 pounds (whick I thought was 70) is close to being normal. He then sends me for blood work which it takes the girl sticking me in 3 different places to get the blood. I go back to his office and sit waiting like they have told me to do, his sec. comes out and tells me that he has left but he wants me to stay and talk to his deitian. Once again she doesn't want the log, but tells me that from what the surgen says I am eating way to much and to often. She doesn't like to set limits on people but she will if I must have them. Okay I must . Well here they are I am not to eat more than 3 times a day no more than 4>6 oz at a time and get in 60>70 gr of protien, but my meals must have a meat and vege. at each and every meal. No more than 800 cals a day. All dairy must be low fat or skim. Tell me how

Send your surgeon a copy of this email and the replies with a cover letter mentioning that although you realize that his primary medical area of expertise is in surgery, a certain amount of compassion is necessary for a bedside manner. Perhaps he is unfamiliar with the symptoms of depression and their sometimes devastating effects. (said sarcastically!) My Primary doc is where I go for sympathy. I have to wait three to four hours, his staff is the three stooges, and his answering service is from hell and never passes him messages, BUT...........when he sees that I am upset, he stops, closes the door, puts down his laptop, takes my hand and LISTENS!!!! That is why I am still going to see him. You deserve better. No one has the right to belittle you (let him KNOW that you heard the conversation.) Change horses in mid-stream? Well, like we say in Texas, you might get wet, but you will definitely have a hell of a ride! LOL!

Peggy...sorry you have such an Ass for a surgeon...you don't need to take his crap...do you have a PCP that you like? Ask them to intervene with the Jerk. No one should have to put up with being belittled. They are there to serve YOU. You and or your insurance pays their living. Is there another surgeon you could see for follow up visits? Id have told him to take a hike and I'd have walked out on him. Please don't give up!!! Don't let him depress you more. Call you PCP and let them know how depressed you are. It's no wonder being treated like that. Remember you have a support group here that cares about you and your progress. You are NOT a failure and you WILL NOT give up. So brush the Jerk out of your mind and up your protein and drink your water, the rest will come in time. The best to you.

Peggy.... Its true... our surgeons are related. I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like this also. I'm not sure what can be done in either of our situations. I'm beginning to think the getting wet by changing horses mid stream isn't such a bad idea. If we can learn to ignore the arrogance and attitude, do what our own research has shown us works and just get through this then we will be way ahead of the game. Neither one of us are going to fail at this regardless of what our idiotic surgeons have told us. We are doing great and we will continue to do so! If you want to keep in touch with me, please do.... from one postie to another dealing with an arrogant jerk of a surgeon. Hope today is going better Patty in connecticut Open RNY 1/5/05 319/253/140

Hi Peggy, I'm very sorry to hear about your experience with your surgeon. I have began to fill the filling of hunger again and in between meals I do what is called water loading to make myself full. I also use high protein drinks to meet my protein needs. I hope that things get better for you. Georgeann

Awwww, Peggy... what a sucky visit - I'm sorry you had to experience this. Everyone here has given you some wonderful advice, and the only thing I can add is that what his dietician advised for your way of eating is exactly what my surgeon's standards are... The waterloading does help tremendously with the pangs of hunger ((((skinny hugs to you, My Friend)))) wendyb

Peggy! I feel your pain. That surgeon is remarkably short of "bedside" manner, and both he and his intern were out of line to discuss your crying in any manner except concern. I've posted here that I'm a slow loser, and I have followed you on the board as well. It IS deflating when you had such high hopes, and your family had high expectations about how you would look. I had a visit 3 weeks ago with my surgeon. I think he is a skilled surgeon, but leaves the weight loss to you/nutrionist. I discussed slow weight loss. He and his staff responsed with their "stock" answers and sent me to a nutrionist. I, too, am to ingest 60-70 grams of protein, drink 80 oz of water, eat between 600-700 calories daily, while getting in two servings of dairy, 2-4 servings of fruit and vegetables, and 2 tbls of fat. Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The protein alone will take me up close to the 600 calories. (Unless I drink it all in protein powder-ugh!) Now, I'm like you, don't tell me to do that, unless you tell me how!!!!!!!!!!I am eating a cup of fruit a day. After surgery, I experienced 3 separate episodes of gout, never had it before. Did some research on the internet, and it can be brought on with a high protein diet! I had to add some carbs, simple, complex carbs, (good kind) and now the gout has stopped. I sympathize with your constant nausea and diarrhea, as I know that must keep you "puny" along with frustration over the weight. Have you asked your PCP for an anti-depression med. Maybe that would help right now. I just wanted you to know that I understand your frustration, and hopefully, we can keep encouraging each other. Dianne