Poll: Do you know why you are/were obese?

Hi guys and ladies... I was wondering how many of you were able to get to the root of the great question "What made me different?" "Why am I obese?" or "Why am I different than ______ who weighs 130 lbs?" "At what point in my life did I start "feeding" my emotions, or what happened in my life that made me start eating myself to death as punishment?" "Punishment for what?" I realize that this is a very personal topic so you don't have to share your reason, but where you able to fully get to the bottom of it? I have been overweight my entire life and only recently (before my surgery) was able to really come to a conclusion - and only a cloudy one. For me I learned bad habits early on and have always enjoyed food but I don't know that I could have gotten to 373 lbs in 22 years on pure enjoyment of food. When my family divorced that's when you see a significant increase in my weight. Right there in black and white on the doctor's charts. I didn't realize that until I was getting things together for my insurance approval. But I will always wonder why we choose to handle things the way that we do? Just thinking... Jenny

That is a great question, one that I think is very important for us to all find the answer to. My weight started as a child. When I was 8 I was sexualy abused and I started to gain weight. I did this as a protection device. In my mind somewhere if I was heavy, no one would notice me. I am having to learn how to cope now without letting that be my gaurd against the world. I think coming to terms with the root of my issue will make this a life long change. Jenn

Hi Jenny, I think about this alot and of course I find no clear answer as to why. I do know that I am a recovering drug addict (over ten years clean and sober) and that I am also a manic depressive. Now you might think that would be enough to deal with but nooooooooooooooooo it's just the begining! I don't want to sound like I am on the pity pot (even though it does ) my life is wonderfull and I wouldn't trade it with anyone. I have been blessed by God with a loving family, many friends and the opportunity to improve myself physically and mentally. In the past I think I have eaten to try and fill some sort of emptiness inside of me. I used drugs to try and fill it but that wasn't the answer. The food may have filled my stomach but that wasn't enough either. I had my bypass done and have lost 65 lbs. so far and I am very happy about that. But there are days when I still have the desire to eat my way out of the depression. Old habits die hard I guess ! Any way I have rambled on long enough. These are just some of my thoughts and reasons for the way things have turned out this way. Today is a new day and I am a new person thanks to this surgery. Love and Peace Anne B

There is more than one reason for me. I am a STRESS EATER. The main thing was depression. I just did not care how I looked, so why not deal with stress by eating. I was a normal weight throughout childhood and early adulthood (120 to 140 pounds as an adult), though I did not eat very healthy as a child, but was able to keep the weight normal with dieting. I was in the navy and was physically fit for a number of years. I had to get out of the navy when my DH was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia (hairy cell leukemia). He stayed in the navy to get the medical benefits and I got out so I could take care of him and my daughter. This was a rocky road for him for 2 years, but he finally tried an experimental chemo through NIH, which is now the 1st-line treatment for his type of leukemia! Shortly after this, I gave birth to a son who had to be on a cardiac monitor for his 1st year of life and had congenital heart defect and gastric problems. This was very hard for me to deal with and I still blame myself for his birth defects. After that, I had 3 deaths in my immediate family, father, mother and sister. I had more several major depressive episodes during these stressful periods in which I had to be hospitalized. I dieted and lost weight, as much as 70 pounds at one point, but always regained the weight plus more. Before WLS, my depression symptoms were finally stable and I started to look at myself in the mirror and WANTED to look better. That is when I researched RNY. As far as dealing with things differently or how to handle things now, I am still in therapy and will be probably for the rest of my life. I also am told I will require medication for the rest of my life for the depression because it is a chemical imbalance for me. Really good question! SueZ

Great question Jenny... My weight problems started when I was in Jr. High School and my mother had her stomach stapled. Before that I am sure that I had learned many bad habits, but my first memories of having weight problems began with her surgery... as she was losing the weight, she became the food police of our home. With every bite put into my mouth I heard "you don't need that", "you shouldn't have that cheese on your burger"... etc etc... and off to weigh****chers we went. When this began, I may have weighed all of 100 lbs. So the yo-yo-ing began. When I moved out of her house at 18... I gained a lot of weight nearly overnight... I found myself married to a very mentally abusive man who would sabattage every effort that I made to try to get things under control... stating that "if I got skinny, I would just leave him"... eventually I did... but I wasn't skinny. In fact it took the comment "your too fat to be attractive" to do it. I think that I have always been an emotional eater, that and the fact that I gained and lost sooo many pounds soooo many times... nothing would work for me any more... until now. But it took a lot of soul searching before I decided if I was ready to take the chance on me changing like my mother had... Luckily, my wonderful husband says that the personality has been left in-tact lol Thanks for posting this question ... its good for all of us to try to find the reason or reasons behind what got us here in the first place! Patty Open RNY 1/5/05 319/256/140

I'm still struggling with this

hello jenny well for myself i totally believe i stuffed my emotions!!!! i also think i hide behind the weight, when your big people dont expect as much from you. but also it was learned eating habits as well, but i could only blame my weight on my parents for so long...lol. i also firmly believe that this is a tool for us. it fixes our bellys but not our heads. for myself i make sure i go to support meetings to get that extra encouragment(sp?)i actually would like to go to a counslor but its so expensive. have a great weekend!! julie k

Very good question and I still don't have all the answers yet. However I have noticed some patterns in my own history: *GENETICS: The folks in my family have obesity problems from as far back as I have researched... were are a big German bunch on both sides. Even the "skinny" women in my family have very LARGE frames! *HABITS: I developed bad snacking habits out of lonliness and stress. *FAMILY EXAMPLE: I developed poor views of food, portion control, etc... Growing up we were told to eat everything on our plates b/c we were lucky to have any food. So we ate these huge amounts of food b/c our parents had bad portion control. We also ate lots of fast food as we got older and we all know how HUGE those portion sizes are! *MY OWN CHOICES: I chose to eat large portions and eat many times a day even though I was cooking healthy! I was diluding myself to think that if I ate healthy foods that it would be ok to keep eating the sizes and frequency that I was doing. Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/182/146 BMI- 44.1/31.2/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -75 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney