Where's my libido??

Okay my fellow surgery buddies...we talk about almost anything here so why not talk about sex? (Hope this topic doesn't offend anyone) Before surgery I heard from several postops and read many posts on the main message board about how your libido increases after surgery and with losing weight...yada, yada, yada. Well that happened for a few days about one month postop, but since then it's been non-existent! Are any of the other ladies on this board experiencing this or am I just some freak in the minority on this issue? This was never a problem preop, so don't know if it's related to the surgery or stress or what? Mary Ellen -53 pounds since surgery -78 pounds total

Mary Ellen, You are not alone. I am having a similar problem now. At first, after about 4 weeks I was frisky. Now, for the last month, I have NO desire. I talked to the doc today about this. He said " Your poor body is going through a tramatic experience. It can't concentrate on too many things at once. Right now, it is trying to adjust to rapid weight loss, mineral and chemical imbalances, body mass changes, fuel changes, energy changes, and emotional changes. You have to give it time to catch up. Trust me. One day, it will all come back with a vengence and better, since you will have more stamina and flexibility." He told me then that my husband had already asked him about it!!! He told him the same thing. Basically, give it another month. Hubby said "A MONTH???!!!!!!!" Strangely, I do get frisky for one day every month. Right before "Aunt Flo" visits. Go figure.

Thanks Lou Ann. I see my surgeon today and was going to bring it up so it's good to know what your doc said. Mary Ellen

I ENJOY SEX NOW! However my libido keeps fluctuating. There are weeks were I just don't even think about gett'n it and then there are days when I can't get enough and my luck... he's not home! I think it has a lot to do with our body trying to find homeostasis with our hormone levels. I don't know about anyone else but I am loosing an avg of 12 lbs a month, so I imagine that makes my levels really wonky. What do the rest of you think? Personally hubby and I are trying to renew our marriage since I was so NOT interested in sex for so long, we have developed bad habits so now we are creating new routines! We just bought a new porch gazebo thingy from Target tonight (our last one was destroyed in a freak snow storm last winter) and some new Army cots (we use them as benches around the fire pit) so I can't wait to "break it all in" ++wink-wink ++ Brightest Blessings for a Wonderful Day~ Jamie M. aka Lady Autumn Weight- 257/186/146 BMI- 44.1/31.9/25 Height- 5'4" Total Weight Loss: -71 lbs. Surgery Date- 1/19/05 Visit my OH profile or stop by My Weight Loss Journey Website at: home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-LadyAutumnsWLSjourney

Jamie, That's a good point about our hormones being out of whack. I've noticed that I seem much more emotional these days and things that usually would not be a bother are all of sudden overwhelming me. Hopefully it will get better. Mary Ellen

here is a man's perspective......i am feeling same way...i was pondering it myself the other day...i think it has alot to do with our focus on what we are doing to achieve our goal...i feel like it is a case of tunnel vision...we are putting so much energy into what we want to accomplish,that being frisky is kind of lower on the list for right now...but i am sure that it is just a phase and we will be saying in a month ,...i am too frisky...lolol i think once we get situated and subconciously start to relax and start feeling comfortable with the quick changes that are happening we will be more instense with the personal side of our innerselves. I am not that concerned right now about it ...i know it is going to be better than ever when the time is right...it is hard to paint 2 sides of the room at one time...but once the first wall is done you can focus on the other...just like things in our life.

Tom, Thanks for providing a man's perspective...it's good to hear from another point of view. I love your analogy about trying to paint the whole room at once! That's definitely me! Mary Ellen

I too am having this problem, although I also had this problem pre-op. But like Jaime everytime I am feeling frisky hubby is at work (he works 11-7) and weekends I am too darn tired to even think about sex. I just keep telling myself that one day it will all come together and I will be normal (well as normal as I can be) again. Kim 286/226/150ish?

I understand what your going through. I think my problem may be emotionally related. My therapist tells me that it is related to the emotional reasons I gained the weight in the first place and that these issue will arise as I lose. Many may not have them for the same reason. I had some abuse issues growing up and now I have to face them, since my barrier is coming down. Jenn

what is libido???????????????????? is that what my hubby tells me that I don't have Didn't have a lot before surgery so hubby is waiting for it to kick in like they say it will peggy