To tell or not to tell? What's the best way to approach the date?

Thanks for the note Donna. Find those in your life that understand how important this is for you. We only have one life and need to do what we have to inorder to be able to enjoy it as much as possible. This is our time to re-level ourselves and have another opportunity to lead life to it's fullest. I know you will find the support that is important to you - it is funny how things work out when they have to. All the best - I look forward to sharing progress through 2005 - Dwight

I have decided NOT to tell. I am sure some coworkers are suspicious because they knew I was looking into it. When they asked why I was going to be off of work, I just said due to women issues. I did not tell my supervisor why I was going to be off. Just that I was and I did not want to discuss it. As long as I apply for my FMLA, and Short term disability, he does not need to know. It is not a requirment. Now I dont foresee any problem with telling SOME people after I return to work. Sharing my story to some of my coworkers that may be thinking about the surgery, may even help them. I wont be running up and down the aisles screaming I had it done, just only if someone asks after seeing such a dramatic difference.

Hey Dwight, After reading your post It was like I could have written it myself. I too have only told a few key players, husband, 1 friend. I haven't even told my mother yet, don't need to be judged just yet. Just remember, in the words of my favorite band Bon Jovi, " I ain't here to justify what I gotta do to survive!" . Keep the faith and you are in my thoughts and prayers. My date is scheduled for Jan 18, see ya on the loosing side! Susan

Dwight, I have to disagree with these other posts. I have told everyone that i work with and they are very supportive. My family is also, and i feel like I have just that many people on my team. It can be hard if you get negative feedback I would agree, but I think that you will find that the people who care about you will really be very supportive. I have been obese since high school, and this is not a quick fix. As all of us here, I have been thinking of surgery for a while and have included my friends and family in the process from the beginning. This may have helped reassure them that the dangers of surgery are not as high as the risk of the weight. My date is January 6 I know that I will succeed, and have everyone pulling for me (and helping to keep me on that diet). Good luck, Lauren

Originally I didnt care if people knew. I wasnt telling people right away though. I mean I did tell my best friends whom I work with. I did tell one coworker/ friend and got negative feedback. I knew the more people you tell, the more negative feedack you can receive. So in saying this, Dwight, if you won't mind the,"Why are you doing this? You aren't really that big." Or the, "Aren't you scared? Why don't you try this or that diet?" Or the, " I wouldn't do that to my body... I know someone that had so many complications...." then go ahead and tell. I have already heard all of them and refuse to continue to tell. Outside of my immediate family, Dad, and sisters, no one else in my family knows.

Wow, I'm glad other people have worried about this too!!! My surgery date is Jan 14th. There are a select few that I have told about this surgery and most are happy for me. My fear is from those peole who believe that surgery is a "cop-out" or a lazy way for loosing weight. I know and understand now that there are plenty of people will be hatefully jelous of our weight loss. For that reason I am choosing to keep it with the group that knows and then as time makes if plainly obvious of my quick weight loss I will share it since my results will make me not care what anyone else thinks. I'm already sorry I've told a few co-workers. Family wise-only my immediate familiy knows and my sister let it out to one of my aunts. But truly I think waiting to tell "everyone" else (family wise especially) will be the best choice for me. I have spent my life with my weight being everyone else's business...to the point where some cousins and things simply call to see how my weight is...so I will enjoy the sheer satisfaction of them just SEEING me the next time I visit or having them hear from others who have seen me.