Hello everyone, need to vent

Hey, I just wanted to post and see how everyone is doing. I am doing okay I guess. These past few days have been hard eating wise because all I want to do is eat. First of all I am sick, a cold and sore throat, and so all I want to do is just lay around and rest on top of wanting to eat. Well I know I need to get up and move. Tomorrow I am going to go and join a local gym here. It is expensive but I told my husband that I have to do it and we will just have to suck it up. I really don't have any local friends here that I can hang out with and talk with everyday. I am one of those people *****ally needs to have a friend. Hopefully it will get better. I really miss my friend Christie from CA. Thanks to Vonage, voice over the internet phone, we can still talk for the price of my monthly plan which is only $24.95 a month. The only thing is that there is 9 hours difference and that is hard to work around. I miss shopping and talking to her everyday. The funny thing is that you would think I would be used to moving and making new friends because of all the moves we have done with the military. But I am not and now it is harder because of the WLS I believe. I have decided not to tell anyone here that I had surgery, just my choice because of the reactions I got from people where I lived in CA. I know that the language barrier makes it harder as well. I have an appt. tomorrow to try to start a language class. It is difficult to eat with others here. We have ate with our sponser and his wife a few times and it has been wierd. They think it is weird that I only drink water or flavored water(Propel). They also just can't understand why I don't do carbonation. I just said I don't. They also look at me weird when I don't drink while I eat. This is sure harder than I thought it would be. I had looked forward to moving to some place where people didn't know about my surgery. I thought it would be better to start new where everyone knows me the size I am now. Boy was I wrong!!! It doesn't get easier. I know with this move and everything we are dealing with that I have been stressed and before WLS I was a stress eater. People say that WLS is the easy way out, they are so wrong!!!!! Okay thanks for letting me vent!!!! Now let me know what all of you are up to!! I miss talking with you all and our board sure is moving very slow these days. Take care, Becky P.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you Becky!! It does sound like you are having a hard time transitioning. I hope things come easier and maybe once you take some language classes and join the gym, maybe it will be easier to meet people and make friends. I understand and feel what you are going through about stress and the difficulty of dealing with stressful situations post WLS. I am going through similar feelings as I changed jobs 3 months ago and am having a very difficult time adjusting to the new work environment and stress levels that have come with it. I was at my previous job for 15 years and knew the ins and outs of the position and got along very well with all of my coworkers. I mainly left because I was bored and the position was grant funded and the funding was not secure after another year, so I felt the need to start looking. Funny thing is, without the WLS I never would have dared to even look in the first place or have the confidence to go on the interview. It seems with the weight loss and all the changes we go through physically and emotionally, you almost get caught up in the euphoria of it all and become addicted to the changes and develop the need to change a whole bunch of other stuff in your life. I'm afraid I may have jumped into this career change and have come home crying many nights because I feel so totally overwhelmed with it all and fear I cannot do the job and fulfill the position requirements. My friend pointed out to me that I need to give myself more time and remember that for most of my life I dealt with stress by overeating and now I am in one of the most stressful times in life and I don't have my old standby to get me through it. No wonder I feel like I'm falling apart and can't function. Funny thing is, I haven't been too tempted to overeat and stuff myself. I just am feeling the stress through all sorts of physical ailments - stomach upset, diarrhea, extreme tiredness, etc. My weight is holding steady. I saw my surgeon last week and just had blood tests done, so will have to wait & see how my levels have been holding up through all of this. I have been so down lately that my husband and I have made a contingency plan to help me get through this.....I am going to stay on the job and give it a year, and during that time we are going to work really hard to pay off bills and then at the end of a year if I am still having difficulty or am unhappy on the job, I will take another position that has less responsibility and travel (and of course a lot less pay to go along with those reductions). Right now I feel like I am all consumed by work and I'm not living the rest of life or enjoying any of it. Kinda defeats the purpose of having the surgery in the first place, huh? Like you, I elected not to tell anyone here about my WLS. It's sometimes hard to get around the questions when you decline something or someone sees me with my protein drink. Try to keep your head up and email me anytime you need someone to talk to. I feel bad that I do not post regularly on this board, life has sort of taken over and I don't get to visit as many support forums as before. Sorry if my post was long and whiny! Hope you feel better soon...take care!! Mary Ellen

Mary Ellen, Thanks so much for your support!!! It is good to be able to share with others that are going through the same things as me. I really hope that your job goes better for you!! The good thing is that you have a plan that you have made with your husband. Hears to a good day a work for you!!!! Take care and thanks again!!!! Much appreciated, Becky P.

Hi Becky!! I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with your move. You are such a strong person just to have made the move in the first place. I can't imagine every having to do that. I was born and raised in Hawaii, and except for trips have never lived anywhere else. I can sympathasize with you regarding not telling people about your WLS. I face that problem on almost a weekly basis. Someone will see me and notice that I have lost over a 100 pounds, but when they ask me how I did it; and I tell them with gastric bypass. They suddenly become very quiet and standoffish. I don't know if it's because they don't know how to respond to it because they don't know enough about it, or they just think that I went to such an extreme. I would encourage you to keep up your spirits. Just keep telling yourself that you did this for yourself so that you could have a healthier and happier life. Like anywhere so far from the U.S. I know that shortly you will adjust to your new life and surroundings. Congratulations to you for taking language lessons. That is an awesome positive step in the right direction. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and either e-mail me or post on this site. I'm here on a daily basis, and I'm always here for you!!! Have a wonderful week!!! Hugs and aloha, Pat

Hi Becky! I'm so sorry you're having a tough time right now. I think it would be very difficult just with the move alone, but then you have other trials to go along with it. That's great that you're joining a gym~maybe you will meet up with someone there that shares your same interests. I can't imagine not having my family and friends right around the corner, but please remember, you ALWAYS have us here! I know its been very quiet on this board, but the Grads Board has alot of action so please join us there if you're interested!!!!!!!!! (((((((HUGS))))))))) Tracy B 328/150 5'9"

Hi Becky, I wish I could give you a big hug...so I will have to send it this way...(((HUGS))). I am glad that you are taking steps to meet people. I know that it will get better. Good luck. Linda

Becky, I understand the stress part. It sure is hard lately not using food for my crutch. I am unemployed(hubby is working)and suffering debillitating back pain. I decided NOT to return to public school teaching after 25 years. Instead, I am preparing for a new career in performing. After the hubby and kids leave in the morning, I eat my breakfast, exercise for a while, and then practice my music for 8 hours. I try to put in an hour on each instrument, but the back pain really slows me down. Then I head for the Frig. So far, I am sticking to flavored waters, V8, string cheese, and bariatric crackers. But my kids' goodies are looking better every day. Save me from the Fire Cheetos!! I am also alone without my girlfriends. It is hard; very hard. I have been thinking of doing some volunteer work playing piano at the retirement home. Maybe cheering them up will cheer me up. Good Luck, Becky....remember....we're still here!!!! Lou Ann

Becky, you are NOT alone! I moved recently too and I began living here without telling anyone about my surgery as well. However, I have found it more difficult to explain my weird habits away than it was just to just tell them I had bariatric surgery. Out here in WA, there are a few bariatric centers so I guess it is a bit more common for folks to at least have a basic understanding. Anyways, these days I am having a much harder time adjusting to the change. We lived at our last duty station for over 10 years and now that we are out west and to the other side of the country from all of our family and friends, I am finding myself alone and scared. Two emotions I really have not had a hard time with in the past. Before WLS I was an emotional eater, and as bad as it was, it was some sort of coping skill. Now that I can't do that, I don't know what to do with myself. And to top it off, when I get stressed it upsets my "old tummy" to which aggravates old ulcers, which can no longer receive quick meds (have to take the slow acting through the blood kinds now) so then I find myself stressed out and unable to eat. REALLY NOT GOOD! I had a period of about a week where unless hubby called me and reminded me to eat, I wouldn't! I am also having a hard time with finding work. I took so many years off to go to school, raise my son, and get my health into check, that now I don't have many "marketable skills or job expierence" above my degrees. I don't regret my decision to have WLS but I must agree with you, anyone who thinks this was the easy way out.... they have not walked a day in my shoes! *hugs* You are not alone girl! Miss chatting with you... I think I will be back to the boards more often. I have been away entirely too long. Jamie