GET AWAY FROM SCALES!!!

Ladies! What is it with the addiction to scales? Why are we torturing ourselves? Isn't there enough in life that chips away at our self esteems and moral? STOP WEIGHING YOURSELVES. Healthy people do not do this. Healthy people live their lives free from this torment directly related to our addiction to food. This surgery does not free us from this addiction, as we have all learned is such painstaking ways. Even Gloria (hugs to you, love) who is wearing a SIZE ONE knows this. She looks like she is a poster child for freedom from all this. The scales certainly say so. Her label inside her pants shout it. But these things are not indicators of health. God bless all of us in our successes, but we need healing. Remove things in your life that you are addicted to...cheese crackers, the couch (yes, if that's where you dream of food), the TV, SCALES: remove them from your home. Stop doing it. I am very curious about how much I weigh, but I don't see my doctor until October and that is the ONLY PLACE I AM EVER WEIGHED. In the interim, I try try try to live and celebrate all of the things I can do-sit on the floor and get up (how amazing is that?), cross my legs when sitting, wear my husband's sweatshirts. Our emotions are so easily manipulated. We are undergoing a huge life change. EVERYTHING is different. From everything I have read since pre surgery, 99 percent of us are not getting help from what the scales say. We yearn for approval from our families and friends, new relationships and mostly freedom from our addiction (remember the MONA post?). Get rid of the scales, ladies. Even when people say the scales are reading "135lbs" (AMAZING NUMBER FOR PEOPLE WHO WERE MORBIDLY OBESE JUST 9 MONTHS AGO): this upsets us? How wacked is that? I really thinks that this is something that is another part of our addiction. It's not helping us at all. We are doing a great job. We are losing huge amounts of weight and wearing smaller clothes and flirting (!!), but unless we work on beating our addiction, we will always be in its control. Love to all, Catherine

Well said....with a few opinions.... But given that, it is a ton easier said than done. I've even had therapy and I sometimes let this monster control my life. I will say that "normal sized" women (whatever that means..) DO let their weight rule their lives. Why do you think that there a magazines such as Cosmo, Vanity Fair, etc., and soap operas where people don't ever age, where love is beautiful & only the fit survive. We all live in a world that is coveted by youth, beauty and sensuality. It is even worse with new reality series such as Extreme Makeover, the one on Fox where women got fixed up and then competed against each other & STILL were unhappy. In some ways, we voluntarily stepped into this world by electing this surgery. I know that for most of us anyway, health reasons and comorbidities played a significant reason for having the surgery, but if we say looking and feeling better about ourselves didn't play into it we'd be lying. This is all a part of the process - at least for me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that normal isn't so normal. Telling women to stay off the scale and be happy is about as useful as telling a depressed person to just smile - it will get better. We are all fighting our own demons regarding our addictions, insecurities and life's disappointments. That is where our local support groups and these boards play a huge role. If people can't vent their feelings about these issues - where can they? I agree with your philosophy, but have a very difficult time following it all the time. I am happy to see that you have mastered it most of the time and can give us an example that once in awhile - the good ones can win. Take care & God Bless! Barbie 281-196-170ish

I agree with you 100%. It shouldn't be what the scale says, but how we feel about ourselves. It's a good idea, but I am adicted to my scale. I have to step on it every day at least once if not more than once a day. I am down to 140lbs and wear a size 5/6 jeans. That's an awesome accomplishment, but with all the things going on in my life me and my weight are all I have. Mentally my body has not caught up to the physical. Will it ever? I hope so. I still look in the morror while I am wearing a size 5/6 and still think I look fat. How can that be when only 9 months ago I was wearing a 20/22? I look at other "thin" people and say that's what I want to look like. The n I have to remember that I do or am close to it. I tell people I have 20lbs to go and they respond by telling me I will disappear. Flattering, yes, but does it sink in, no it doesn't. I set a goal of 120 for myself and am bound and determined to make it even if I look too thin. Because in my mind I will never be thin enough. Almost sounds like someone who is "thin" and says they need to lose 10 or 20lbs. It sounds like the person with an eating disorder such as bulemia or anorexia doesn't it. They always see themselves as fat and no matter how small they are it is never enough. i don't know when I will reach the point of enough. My NP set a goal of 130 and I looked at her like she slapped me. 130lbs no way I want to be 120 or even 115lbs. Her response was what do you want to be a size 3. My thought was well a size 0 would be nice but a 3 is a good start. And I don't think I am the only one to feel this way. When will enough be enough. For me I don't think I will ever lose enough. And I feel the biggest reason is because so much emphasis is put on being thin, but who decides what thin is. That's why I personally can't get away from my scales. Doing so would mean I lost control of a part of my life that I need to control. Am I happy with how I look, yes I am....But I need my scales to remind me that I am now one of the "thin people". I have to have it. And there are days when I look at myself and amazed how far I have come. Unfortunately they are less than my "fat" days. I am sure everything will catch up and I will no longer be a slave to my scale, but until then no matter how much I try I can't get rid of. I need the numbers to prove that my journey has all been worth the emotional and psychological sacrifices I went through. I am so proud that you can do this, but I can't. Sorry I had to rant and rave, but I don't think I am alone in this. Stacy 220/140/ 120ish

I'm with Stacy.... I HAVE to weigh everyday just to keep control. The addiction is not to the scales. The addiction is to the food and the scales help me to keep that under control. My Dr. set a goal of 135. I set a goal of 125 (and secretly hope for 120 so I will have "room" for that 3rd year). I recently have hit a bump where the scales are not my friend I have not lost any weight and have actually gained 4 pounds depending on the day. I know it is because I am eating more (and not as good as I was) and I know that when I get on the scale it will remind me to try and get a grip that day. If I went more than 3 days without weighing, no telling how bad it would get. I do think my clothes are fitting better and that some of the weight is muscle as I am lifting weights 3 times a week. This is another huge adjustment AND I AM GOING TO A SUPPORT GROUP TONIGHT! 220/150/120

Konnie! Hey girl! What have you been up to? You would be so proud of me - I actually have gotten back to exercise on a regular basis - it is hard to make myself go, but tired of not seeing movement on the scales and besides - it helps with the bipolar tremendously. The new job is going well & I am adjusting to the traveling a little better now than I was in Nashville. Email me sometime - I miss hearing from you! Take care girlfriend! Barbie

Wow! I know where you're coming from Catherine, but I feel the way Stacy and Barbie do. Our society puts so much emphazes on being "thin" just like Barbie said about the soaps and magazines, etc. How many "large" sized actresses do you know? About a handfull, if that. I truly do thank god every morning when I wake up for my "new" life. I am sooo much healthier and happier. I have much more self confidence and self esteem now than I did when I weighed 248 lbs and wore a size 22/24. I love it when men take a double look at me. Why wouldn't I, it's only natural. I also thank Dr. Hill every day for giving me a tool that I have made work! I attend the support group meetings every month in Saranac Lake and trust me, those meetings are a godsend! I post on this board which helps me get through the bad and good times. I thank all of you for that! I don't get much support from my immediate family so the support group meetings and this board are my soul mates so to speak! I don't only weigh myself every morning, but at least 2 or 3 more times during the day! I guess I'm obessed with my scale, but, you must remember that my weigh in day is Wednesday's and that is the weight I write down in my journal. Last week I hit a plateau and yes, of course I was upset and depressed, but then I realized, hey, this is your first plateau and 139 lbs is GREAT! Don't worry about it, you're doing ok and you'll be fine! I have set a goal of 125 lbs. Will I get there? I don't know! But, if I don't I'll be happy at 139 becasue it's a hell of a lot better than 248 lbs. and I'm off my lipator medicine. And my sugars are under control! What more could I ask for, well maybe a man in my life, but if I don't get that either, I'll be happy! I have been very fortunate during my WLS journey, as I did not loose any hair and have not had to really deal with any of old demons (as of yet anyway). I am also very thankful for all the things I can do now that I couldn't or wouldn't do before my WLS. Best of luck to all of you in your continued WLS journey. Kimberley 248/236/139/125 Some day I hope!

I understand & comprehend what you are saying...BUT I feel too close too my addiction still. EVERYDAY I worry about what I eat, what will I eat. Am I eating too much, not enough. Most people start to regain after the first year. VERY sad & VERY true. Sooooooooooo DAILY I weigh myself, if not several times a day. IT reminds me how far I have come, BUT also how far I need to good to keep my food DEMONS away. I find myseld craving choclate, ice cream, etc etc everyday. I NEED the scale to yell at me. Sadly I will ALWAYS be a food ADDICT. Ang~ 268/156/135??

Hey this is Gloria!Just wanted to say great post.I wanted to mention also even though I am very thin now I am a food addict for life,so dont think when you get to goal that everything just goes away and your life is perfect.You can eat more further out and some can tolerate more carbs or junk food.Being thin does not solve all my problems and I doubt it will anyone elses.I actually have alot to deal with compared to a simple life on the couch before wls,and I have issues with people being jealous and catty to me that were not before and all kinds of crazy comments!.My husband thinks I am way too thin and tells me to eat and everyone I know asks me when I am going to stop losing ,and all like I am anoerxic Mary Kate Olsen or something.I am eating like 1500 calories a day now btw thank you very much ,just very active.. .Also I do weigh myself but only to make sure I am not losing too much as I am down to 122 when my goal was 150.But I would like to mention when I was in losing mode and not yet at goal,the scale made or broke my day.My whole life depended on that number and I obsessed over every calorie and ounce I consumed.Now I forget to weigh,I eat very normal food for the most part except sugar,and I am trying to concentrate on the goals I have made for after I got to goal like finding a career,playing with my children,staying healthy and enjoying my family,notiing how pretty the fall leaves are.I am very happy to have made it this far.But do stop and smell the roses pat yourself on the accomplishments you have come so far!I was happy at 150 pds which was goal,so I kept losing and losing to 122 when people were staring at me at 125 already.So your individual body will loose the amount it wants no matter how bad you try to get it to that perfect number its very hard to control!So just save yourself the heartache and be happy with the skin your in today! I think today I am in cute small outfits,tomorrow I could be paralyzed in a wheelchair and it wont matter how small I am.We are not promised tomorrow!So I thank God for my everyday blessings and CONCENTRATE on important things like health ,life,and loved ones. Peace! Glori

Amen. Love, Catherine

I totally agree with not using the scales as a way to measure our worth. I used the scales for that reason for way too many years and was a very unhappy person. I have given up the scales. I only weigh when I go to the Doctor's office. I can tell how I am donig by how my clothes fit. That is good enough. I do, however, understand some of the other replies about how it is easier said than done. It takes work to stay off of those scales. It takes a program. For me, that program is a twelve step program along with my WLS support group meetings (weekly). These programs have helped me find my self esteem through other ways than food and body image and addiction in general. It is a daily committment to live free of addiction and it takes some action to do it. But the rewards are immense! We don't have to live in our addiction (whether it be food or scales, which ever one you want to hang your hat on). There is a solution. This surgery is only a tool to help us stay on a food plan. Our problems are really in our minds and that takes more than surgery to overcome. I can say that today I am a happy person. I don't need the scales to tell me how to feel. I enjoy life around me. Oh, and by the way. I have gone from a size 22 to a size 10 already and yes that feels great! Let Go and Let God, Diahan