Need some advice.

I had lap RNY on 1/21/04 and have lost a total of 158 pounds. I follow my diet to a T and take my vitamins every day and exercise. Here is my problem. My fiance has a women in his office that keeps telling him that he should watch me because I will die since she knew people that have had the surgery and have died. And that if I do die he will be blamed for my death for over feeding me. This is stressing him out and I do not know what to do to reassure him that I am fine and that I will not die. When I had the surgery we were still in a LDR and he was not there when the surgery was performed or there when I went threw the pre-op testing and classes. Any advice on how I can handle this situation would be helpful.

First off tell him that the lady does not know what she is talking about............ We can not over eat we will throw it up! She is blowing smoke................ I would also tell him that it is not good to listen to everything you hear.............. If he wanted to know the facts talk to people who have had the surgery not some ding bat lady at work! I suppose it would be his fault to if you drank yourself to death or smoked until you choked............

Let him read some of the stuff on line at this website! It is great, general information, especially the libraries, have him ask ?s on line. Have him check out some of the books at the local library on wls, take him with you to your next surgeon's appt and have them give him some stuff to read. The more he understands the anatomy of the surgical changes, the more he will understand that 3/4 of the stuff that is said about wls is pure story telling, and will understand that once you are this far out from surgery, that you obviously have been very committed and succesfull, and you know what you can and can't do. I bet once he has done some reading and understands the changes that have taken place, he will be a lot calmer about things and will learn to turn a deaf ear to someone who obviously doesn't know what she is talking about. In fact, give him some info to give her (or you give it to her, if you know her) and educate herself, rather than rely on myth and storytelling! Good luck and keep up the great work!!! Sarah

We all know people who have died in car accidents. Does that mean that every person who drives (or rides in) a car will be killed in a car accident? OF COURSE NOT. Same thing applies to your surgery. As long as you are following your guidelines and going in for your regular check-ups there is no reason to believe you will die. The chances of you developing a life threatening problem are very miniscule. And the bottom line here is that YOUR life, YOUR weight, YOUR decision whether or not to have surgery, and YOUR on-going choices about food are YOUR responsibility, not his. There is not one single thing he can be blamed for because it's NOT his responsibility. Tell him not to listen to this woman. She obviously has a hang up based upon her experience. She needs to see a counselor to resolve her guilt feelings.

it sounds to me as though this woman is after your man, and trying to sabatoge what the two of you have, if it were me, well i would march my ass right into the office and confront her in front of your b/f about the bullsh** she is saying, girl stand up for yourself, dont take this laying down, you have new strength now and can lean on it and use it to benefit you, orrrrrrrrr gimme her addy and i'll do it lol, i love putting people in there place when it comes to this surgery, shoot they didnt go through it how the f*** would they know what the hell is going on with us chrissy