I'm fed up!

I'm really fed up with my family! I have gotten no support from my mom or 3 of my 4 sisters! Not once has my mom or 2 of my 4 sisters said "you look nice" or "good job" or "how much weight have you lost". I get remarks like, "I like the way I look!" "If god wanted everybody to be thin, then I'd be thin." Two of my sisters are diabetics, one is on insulin and the other on oral medicine (she's also on liptor) and yes they are both over weight! I'm really upset with them! I just don't get it! Why can't they be happy for me? I finally told them today at lunch time "that I was not happy with the way I looked and I didn't have the surgery so I could wear a size 8, but that I did it for my health and now I'm off my liptor and not a diabetic! And I know that some people think I should not have had it done, but I didn't care, it was my decision!" My dad died from complications from Diabeties (he had heart problems, was on dialysis, and lost his eye sight and both legs) and my mom is a diabetic and has lost one leg & part of her other foot! I don't want to end up like them! Is anyone else having this problem with family members? If so, how are you handling it? Kimberley 248/236/177

You are doing the best thing for you and maybe they are jealous. You are breaking the family tradition of being overweight and diabetic. You have made a healthy decission and you should be proud of yourself. Keep up the good work and they will come around eventually. Stay away if you have to just to keep your spirits up. Or use the anger they create to keep up your inspirations of diet and excercise. It must be tough but turn to those who can help you thru. Best of wishes. Dawn -69

I say dido to Dawns reply!!! Kimberly you are doing a fantastic job. Keep your spirits up.

Congratulations on your success Kimberly. I am sorry to hear about the lack of support from your family. I have a similar problem with my sister. My mother is very supportive though. Keep your goals and hapiness in mind and don't worry about what others think. You are doing great!!!!!

You can't be happy for someone else......... When you are not happy with yourself! Just be proud of your accomplishments that is what matters! God Bless

Kimberly I know it's difficult to deal with family, but this is about you not about them. We can't save the world, but we can save ourselves. I had the same kind of comments from some of my family members who said "what if there are complications", "What if you die"? and I said "I have new's for you, I am gonna die", we all are, but I'm not going to die from being overweight if I can help it. I have tried every diet known to mankind and this is a last ditch effort to hopefully live some sort of normalcy, and by God I'm going to give it a chance. We owe it to ourselves to be the best we can be and if we choose this route or any other, it's all up to you. God bless you and best wishes for success. Barbara

Kimberely, Someone once said, "You can't please everyone!" Just know that you are in charge of your life and you have taken control of it and done a very good job. I do understand where you are coming from though. I had my surgery in January. My mother is severely overweight. She was denied for the surgery so that's another issue. She and my grandparents keep telling me that I did it the easy way and my mother's weight loss is the hard way and that I should admire her for it! You have major surgery and see how easy it is, I want to tell them! I did this for the same reason you did though, for my health. That and the fact that I was starting to get concerned that I wouldn't be there to watch my children. Now I know that this way is just as much hard work as any other way! You still have to have a healthy diet and exercise with the surgery so in fact, we work twice as hard! Good luck to you and I hope they see you for you and all of your hard work that you've accomplished. Marla

Your sisters probably aren't going to change. Look in other places for your support. It is also possible that they really can't see the weight loss at this time. I had lost almost 100 lbs before people really began to notice. Now a day seldom goes by that somebody doesn't mention how good I am looking. Another possibility is that if they admit it is working for you they fear somebody will expect them to have the surgery. Denial is a tool many people hold onto. If they can deny that the weight is effecting their health then it's not important. My sister is very large, has had 4 baloon procedures to clear blockages, etc. She is the least supportive person I know. She has recently started Dr. Atkins, which I lost 58 Lbs on prior to surgery. My weight loss must be driving her nuts because she seemed to have no interest in dieting until my weight loss became obvious. I am lucky to have the best friends and co-workers who provide all the support I need. My friends & extended family call weekly to check on my weight loss. Monday morning my co-workers all ask how much I lost when I weighed on Sunday, etc. They make a big deal over new clothes (or old ones brought from the back of the closet) when I wear them. I have an Aunt who is my age and she has been very vocal from the beginning that I wasn't going to get ahead of her. She is very supportive of my weight loss but she is on a diet also. Says I am not going to get skinnier than her. We enjoy teasing back and forth about the weight but I have been an incentive for her and that makes me happy. She probably needs to lose half the amount I need to lose. The only person you can change is yourself. Don't let them put a damper on this experience for you. Love yourself and it won't matter so much when they aren't supportive. You know you made the right decision for your health so you don't have to explain anything to them. Best of luck to you.

Thanks everyone for your support! I'm doing much better now and have just convinced myself that I'm not going to worry about what they say or think! It was my choice and as far as I'm concerned it was the best choice for me! I'm so much happier and healthier! God Bless you all and good luck in your journey's! Kimberley 24/236/ and now 174.5

KIMBERLEY, I UNDERSTAND YOU 100% MY ONLY TWO SISTERS ARE ALWAYS SAYING, "IF YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT YOU JUST STOP EATING AND DO EXERCISES, YOU DON'T NEED A SURGERY." YES, JUST LIKE THAT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND TELL THEM SHUTTTT UPPPPP! BUT IS NOT WORTH IT BELIEVE ME. THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES SAYING THAT, OTHER PEOPLE WHEN THEY SEE ME THEY SAY HOW GOOD I LOOK WITH 70 POUNDS LESS. I JUST DON'T GET IT, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GET SUPPORT FROM YOUR OWN FAMILY BUT NO, THEY JUST PUSH YOU TO SEE IF YOU FALL AND SAY "OH I TOLD YOU SO." IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. WHAT I DID IS TO LOOK FOR OTHERS WHO HAVE HAD THE SURGERY OR ARE THINKING ABOUT IT TO GET SUPPORT AND CHAT ONCE IN A WHILE. I JUST IGNORE MY "SWEET" SISTERS. WE ARE HERE TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER, KEEP ON GOING AND DON'T LET THEM PUT YOU DOWN. THIS IS YOUR TIME AND YOU DESERVE TO ENJOY IT. GOOD LUCK!